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Corugi

Corugi

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Original message details are unavailable.

Original message details are unavailable.
Think yourself lucky Corugi.
Southeaster has hidden, sanity-sapping weapons at his disposal.
My blood runs cold when I recall the horrific story he told me about his twisted love for a certain FMod. I still wake up screaming, drenched in sweat.
The bloody sweats, the wild regrets.

A narrow escape.

Also, it seems to me that you've simply been out-griefed.
He has defeated you with his passive-aggressive refusal.
I bet he's laughing his head off lol.
Go Southeaster!

But wait a moment if he griefed me with his passive-aggressive refusal, then is he not obeying Guthix's divine will? He did after all cause grief. Yes, Yes, I do believe he did!

Okay, drop the charges against Southeaster and give him a promotion.

Put Stoat King on trial for Heresy instead.

*runs off to collect more firewood* I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

11-May-2016 07:13:31

Corugi

Corugi

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Fifi, we will have to put our event on hold until we have put Stoat King on trial for HERESY.

The Trial of the HERETIC, Stoat King


Fifi, you can head the prosecution on behalf of the Holy Corugian Inquisition.

I will head the Case for the Defence.

Now, this is an interesting case. For originally I concocted a series of totally made up charges against Stoat KIng. Whether he was guilty of any of them or not is irrelevant. What Stoat King is undoubtedly guilty of is the heinous crime of making me happy, which for a Griefer is the very worse HERESY a person can commit.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, I present the following damning evidence:

Original message details are unavailable.
Heresy is like mothers milk to me, and I experience fire as a deliciously cool and soothing mountain stream.
Praise Guthix!

YOU SEE! YOU SEE! What could make me happier than a willing victim who wants to be burnt at the stake with HOLY FIRE???

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court. I rest the case for the defense. There is no doubt that my client, Stoat King, is GUILTY of all charges, including those I made up and those of actual substance.

Fifi, you may now present the case for the prosecution. I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

11-May-2016 07:21:24 - Last edited on 11-May-2016 07:31:39 by Corugi

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

Posts: 24,106 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I call for a short Recess.


Psst, Corugi. As Defender you're supposed to find your client ... uh - Innocent.
And the Jury - Dear Lord, the Jury. You're not allowed to tie them up and jab them with pitchforks. Just not.

We need 'twelve good men and true' for an honest verdict.

Time to coerce recruit fresh meat anti-members for the Trial of the Century.
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

11-May-2016 09:36:44

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
FiFi LaFeles said :
I call for a short Recess.


Psst, Corugi. As Defender you're supposed to find your client ... uh - Innocent.
And the Jury - Dear Lord, the Jury. You're not allowed to tie them up and jab them with pitchforks. Just not.

We need 'twelve good men and true' for an honest verdict.

Time to coerce recruit fresh meat anti-members for the Trial of the Century.

Objection!

The prosecutor is attempting to make this into a fair trial!

Hmm, I just thought of something. We are going to need a judge.

I KNOW! I will appoint myself as judge! What do you think Fifi?

NO WAIT! I have a cunning plan! Why don't we invite a Mod to preside over this trial as judge?

(Now here is the cunning part, to preside over this trial they will have to post on this, our clan thread. By posting here they will automatically become one of our anti-members! Unable to leave clan GRIEF forever! FOREVAR! Mwahahahah! Think of the PR value. We can boast of having a mod as a member, that will be sure to draw in some dweebs as recruits. We need some more slaves for Legionnaire recently escaped and is now classified as a runaway member.) I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

11-May-2016 10:13:35 - Last edited on 11-May-2016 10:33:30 by Corugi

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Corugi said :
To Mod Twillow.

You are cordially invited to preside as JUDGE over the trial of one of our anti-members of the anti-clan, GRIEF.

I am the heading the case for the defense.

Fifi La Frou is the prosecutor.

The defendant is Stoat King, who stands accused of HERESY on the grounds of making me happy.

Background. Through his willingness to admit Heresy, and his proclaimed delight at the prospect of being burnt at the stake, Stoat King has made me very happy. This is in direct contravention of the sacred principles of clan Grief, whose avowed aim is to make everyone miserable.

The trial is currently underway on page 7 of the GRIEF clan thread, which can be found through the link in my signature below.

All you need do is agree with me and override anything Fifi says. We need a speedy trial. We don't want our firewood to get wet. I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

11-May-2016 10:54:51

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

Posts: 24,106 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ehhhh wait a minute .... wait just a goshdarned minute.
You're not allowed to direct the Judge on a verdict AND you're nevva nevva going to get a Mod posting in here (well, until they lock the thread, that is) as they have a reputation to protect.

You know, one of fairness, impartiality and that that jazz. Some of these concepts are alien to you, I understand that.

What we need is a fellow Forumer of impeccable reputation, known for their level-headed and thoughtful posts, their lucidity and scalpel-like precision with the nuances of language and interpretation (so you don't get to talk them into a corner) .... and so forth.

We must turn our thoughts into locating and recruiting such a worthy and scrupulous individual.


*wanders off scratching rearend head*
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

11-May-2016 11:08:23

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Well my post was hidden anyways, wrong forum or something trivial like that. Funny, I thought it was for mod events, and isn't this an event? A Heretic's trial, a burning, candy stores, musicians, roasted chestnuts, clowns, families...

So okay, we need a judge and for some silly technical reasons I am supposedly not allowed to be counsel for the defence, executioner, and judge.

Who do you suggest?

Sookie? No. She would get hung up being all fair and reasonable. She would just want us to make up and get along as one big happy family. Ugh! The thought of us being all friendly to ach other makes me want to puke. Besides, she barely posts anymore. We need a fast conviction.

Shady Nick? No. He would turn the trial into a publicity stunt for improving the forums. This is a show trial, not a showcase trial. He's got his own clan thread if he wants to sell seats. Besides he is too fair.

Krista? No. She would be too busy making sure the books balance before we even began, and I don't want revelations about my creative accounting methods and trust fund tax evasions coming to public light.

Vivy? I am not on speaking terms with her ever since she changed the name of the "WENT TO DA WILDEE! DIED!" thread. Me and Legionnaire were really enjoying that siege. We were heart broken when it ended.

Legionnaire? No, he is currently planning to lure me into DA WILDEE and kill me, on some pretext of helping me escape from a witch hunt. Little does he know that I am just playing along and will be lying in wait for him, disguised as a cabbage, but armed to the teeth! With cabbage leaves! Mwhaha!

We could ask Stoat King to preside over his own trial as Judge. He is a master of words, with a cutting wit and an elegance of phrase. But I feel there may be a conflict of interest in deciding the outcome of this case. I fear he would be highly biased in favoring his own immolation, the sicko.

Perhaps we should go to general forums and advertise the position? I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

12-May-2016 02:54:06 - Last edited on 13-May-2016 08:51:53 by Corugi

Jack Flac
Feb Member 2022

Jack Flac

Posts: 6,207 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Henceforth I shall deliver my verdict.

Corugi, you shall be burned at the stake for allowing yourself to be happy from the actions of a griefer.

This action shall be carried out in two days time. Enjoy your final hours. Leader of The Enemy ||
The opposite of Justice is simply another Justice. What is Evil is subjective to each person.
YOU
are their evil

13-May-2016 10:19:55

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Jack Flac said :
Henceforth I shall deliver my verdict.

Corugi, you shall be burned at the stake for allowing yourself to be happy from the actions of a griefer.

This action shall be carried out in two days time. Enjoy your final hours.

WHAT????

It appears that appointing Jack Flac as Judge was a grave error on my part.

I have to wait two days? THAT'S SIMPLY INHUMANE! YOU ARE A MONSTER!

I am launching an immediate appeal, I demand to be burnt at the stake IMMEDIATELY! I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

13-May-2016 10:23:55 - Last edited on 13-May-2016 10:24:59 by Corugi

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