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18-Nov-2017 23:58:26
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Dong U Dead
said
:
People often say just be 'gay' without the 'coming out of the closet'
Given that 'coming out' means telling other people that you're gay, the only way to be gay without coming out would be never to tell anybody. Which might make finding partners rather difficult
- and does, of course, for those who aren't out yet.
But it's hardly something that most people would want to be the case for their entire lives. That's going back to the days where no-one was allowed to be out at all.
Dong U Dead said :
The thing people don't understand you are not abused for being straight, you are not beaten up for being straight, you are not killed for being straight, you are not thought of differently for being straight - no one gives it a second thought for being straight and I bet if the LGBTQ could have a life like this they would, they would love it
Exactly. It's not the truth that "no-one cares if you're gay, so just stop going on about it." Plenty of people care that you're gay, and want to make you feel bad about it, from treating you as a disgusting being to kicking you out of home to beating you up to murdering you.
Banding together and shouting "We exist, and we're not going away, and we're not going to let you intimidate us, and we like being us and are proud of being us, so back off!!" is exactly the reaction you'd expect to that range of threats. It's not a threat to others that they are standing up against being threatened themselves.
93-94-178-66118830
People often say just be 'gay' without the 'coming out of the closet'
Given that 'coming out' means telling other people that you're gay, the only way to be gay without coming out would be never to tell anybody. Which might make finding partners rather difficult
- and does, of course, for those who aren't out yet.
But it's hardly something that most people would want to be the case for their entire lives. That's going back to the days where no-one was allowed to be out at all.
Dong U Dead said :
The thing people don't understand you are not abused for being straight, you are not beaten up for being straight, you are not killed for being straight, you are not thought of differently for being straight - no one gives it a second thought for being straight and I bet if the LGBTQ could have a life like this they would, they would love it
Exactly. It's not the truth that "no-one cares if you're gay, so just stop going on about it." Plenty of people care that you're gay, and want to make you feel bad about it, from treating you as a disgusting being to kicking you out of home to beating you up to murdering you.
Banding together and shouting "We exist, and we're not going away, and we're not going to let you intimidate us, and we like being us and are proud of being us, so back off!!" is exactly the reaction you'd expect to that range of threats. It's not a threat to others that they are standing up against being threatened themselves.
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19-Nov-2017 01:14:19
My late son was gay, he first told me when he was 18, well he told me he was bi - which shocked me a bit as I thought he was gay. Couple of years later he told me he was gay not bi. I had known way before he told me and I am certainly not a hard person to tell and I certainly gave him plenty of oppotunities to inform me - he chose to when I had moved down south miles and miles away from him over the phone
I am not sure why he chose that moment. Anyway me looking and talking to him, well most people wouldn't have known he was gay - he was just the typical Kiwi guy. He loved skiing and jumping out of planes, hiking, camping and walking very, very, very long distances and he thanks me for that - as when he was growing up I use to make him walk, very, very long distances
He talked like any guy would talk, he walked like any guy and dressed like any guy, he wasn't into makeup and dresses, he was just a typical guy who was attracted to other men. It was his busines, nobody elses.
I am not sure why he chose that moment. Anyway me looking and talking to him, well most people wouldn't have known he was gay - he was just the typical Kiwi guy. He loved skiing and jumping out of planes, hiking, camping and walking very, very, very long distances and he thanks me for that - as when he was growing up I use to make him walk, very, very long distances
He talked like any guy would talk, he walked like any guy and dressed like any guy, he wasn't into makeup and dresses, he was just a typical guy who was attracted to other men. It was his busines, nobody elses.
If fat means flavour then I'm ******* delicious!
19-Nov-2017 05:43:55
Dong U Dead
said
:
My late son was gay, he first told me when he was 18, well he told me he was bi - which shocked me a bit as I thought he was gay. Couple of years later he told me he was gay not bi. I had known way before he told me and I am certainly not a hard person to tell and I certainly gave him plenty of oppotunities to inform me - he chose to when I had moved down south miles and miles away from him over the phone
I am not sure why he chose that moment. [...]
I would have to reason that the distance of not needing to come out face-to-face was much less stressful for your son, so when he and you finally gained that comfortable distance, he was able to gain that courage to tell you. It's great to know that you are a very accepting and that you love your son no matter what.
My story isn't all too special. Long story short, I came out to my father by complete accident. He and I had a father-and-son breakfast, and we'd been talking about how life was going. It slowly transitioned into relationships, and then, next thing I knew, I told him. It took the both of us by surprise, because, like many closeted gays, I had no intention of telling my father, especially knowing what kind of a person he is, which would be incredibly off-topic to discuss here. The air was thick with unanswered questions and thoughts and feelings, but at the end of the day, all he asked of me was to be the son he raised me to be. I never thought it would have gone that way, but I'm very thankful and fortunate it went the way it had. I know a few people personally who weren't so lucky.
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My late son was gay, he first told me when he was 18, well he told me he was bi - which shocked me a bit as I thought he was gay. Couple of years later he told me he was gay not bi. I had known way before he told me and I am certainly not a hard person to tell and I certainly gave him plenty of oppotunities to inform me - he chose to when I had moved down south miles and miles away from him over the phone
I am not sure why he chose that moment. [...]
I would have to reason that the distance of not needing to come out face-to-face was much less stressful for your son, so when he and you finally gained that comfortable distance, he was able to gain that courage to tell you. It's great to know that you are a very accepting and that you love your son no matter what.
My story isn't all too special. Long story short, I came out to my father by complete accident. He and I had a father-and-son breakfast, and we'd been talking about how life was going. It slowly transitioned into relationships, and then, next thing I knew, I told him. It took the both of us by surprise, because, like many closeted gays, I had no intention of telling my father, especially knowing what kind of a person he is, which would be incredibly off-topic to discuss here. The air was thick with unanswered questions and thoughts and feelings, but at the end of the day, all he asked of me was to be the son he raised me to be. I never thought it would have gone that way, but I'm very thankful and fortunate it went the way it had. I know a few people personally who weren't so lucky.
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19-Nov-2017 07:13:10 - Last edited on 19-Nov-2017 07:14:18 by Chiburu
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