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Inferi

Inferi

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*sigh* Alright, even though I probably don't need to, here's some comments (some relevant, some more for curiosity or clarification) on some of the things that were said.

If someone wants me to comment on a specific point, lemme know which one and I'll try.

Azi Demonica said :
However, since Miyasi obeys the half-masked girl (I don't recall her name), that alone hints that maybe this scenario isn't threatening

The half-masked girl is Storm, if that wasn't clear.

Azi Demonica said :
A majority of the content centers around your characters and developing lore, making it difficult for me to incorporate my own characters and their backstories into the RP.

I'm curious here: what exactly are you trying to go with? Are you suggesting that I write the story directly based around your character, or is it meaning something else? From my perspective, I'm writing in world elements, and it's the place of the characters, you guys, to figure out where you're going with the elements that are in place.

Westenev said :
I think Azi quite cleverly hid his character's feelings behind the words he ended up using. He doesn't need to elaborate because the disinterest you picked up in the post belongs to the character - not the roleplayer.

Yeah, that's the second interpretation that I didn't see then but is pretty clear now. It was partially because multiple characters in previous threads I've had from Azi had the exact same mentality, and it grates on me a little. Again, that’s more my fault than anyone else. Done in by the dubious doings of destiny.

21-Nov-2018 04:32:41

Inferi

Inferi

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Azi Demonica said :

It’s not that my characters’ choices don’t matter, I just struggle to find choices to make in relation to the character’s experiences/context. I just can’t see how anyone would adhere to a criminal or runaway girl. They are basically nobodies, so I doubt anyone (even other users’ characters) would listen to them.

Everyone here is basically a nobody, though. The reason you listen to one of your party members in a potentially dangerous situation is because you all have a say in what happens, since what happens affects you all. Besides, nobody knows their pasts, so it’s not like they can make a judgment about them like that.

Azi Demonica said :
That’s a good point, yes, to make their opinions or pre-actions part of the turn. Ever since I transitioned into professional writing, I am practising it, and the main thing is to never over-describe or have narration based on the character’s personal feelings. Or so this was the criticisms/advice I have come across. Something to do about ‘impartial narrator’ or something about limiting the narration to a character’s personal experience, which are not meant to be in writing.

I'd argue that character feelings are important, though. If you don't describe what their thought process is (even more so in this than "professional" writing) then there's no basis for when they do something. Maybe in a story where you're not focused 100% on a certain character, it's different, but the characters aren't writing the world here, so all you have is the character.

Azi Demonica said :
Elizabeth is more heroic-minded, but incapable of being a hero

I'm curious, why do you say that? What disqualifies her? Done in by the dubious doings of destiny.

21-Nov-2018 04:32:55

Inferi

Inferi

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Westenev said :
A creepy basement with dead people, magic swords and cult themes is not what I had in mind when I wrote up Elyssia's persona. I don't particuarly mind, but I also think it's unfair to expect strong opinions from a character who isn't personally invested in the current scene.

I was hoping it wouldn't be what anyone expected, to be honest. It's supposed to be an introduction to a world that the characters wouldn't think existed at all, and one that says the world isn't all as normal as they might think.

As for not being invested, I do just want to comment on the fact that I'm not stopping you from leaving. Nobody has said they can't just turn around and go. If there's a reason I need you to stay there, I'll find a way to make you stay, but don't just stand there because you think it's what I want you to do. Done in by the dubious doings of destiny.

21-Nov-2018 04:33:26 - Last edited on 21-Nov-2018 04:33:36 by Inferi

Azi Demonica

Azi Demonica

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Inferi,
Ah, so that’s Storm, I thought the Dreamer was Storm. I’m clearly not able to remember things right lately.

I wanted to go with my characters’ abilities being relevant to the story. For example, Elizabeth’s backstory mentions she’s a singer and violinist, however, this is currently irrelevant and may continue to be so for a long time.
Rory’s backstory is his criminal past, but he is unable to be a gangster. As of thus far, the features of soldiers, magic, and the occult basement does not make Rory’s criminal mind relevant, though stealing artefacts did cross my mind, but there’s no reason for that.
As for the elements, so far, the RP seems to focus on the occult, soldiery, and being surrounded by wilderness. A musician and a criminal don’t really have skills that work here.

Elizabeth is unable to be a hero because she is quite tiny, so there’s just not much she can do. Maybe she’ll mature and get tougher, but what is she gonna do? Pummel her little fists into a seven-foot soldier? Though, I suppose there are other ways to be a hero.

All your other points are reasonable and worth noting, will have to keep note of more things more often. Actually, I think I’ll make a document in Google Docs to make notes for this RP, that should help.

As for the unexpected occult scenario, it was definitely something that stood out, I like how it was unpredictable.

21-Nov-2018 04:56:53

Azi Demonica

Azi Demonica

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pas·sive-ag·gres·sive
adjective
adjective: passive-aggressive
of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.

Hunh, I never knew about this before. Only took me like ten years to realize.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior
Wiki’s first sentence says,
Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.

I was surprised that forgetfulness is a symptom of passive-aggressive behaviour. I also struggle with working memory and short term memory. Anyways, more importantly, now that I am aware of what this is, I will try to induce more psychology in my characters. I don’t mean to appear as stubbornly and inflexibly avoiding social demands, but ironically, trying to be more flexible and less impulsive is what took me there. On the bright side, my deviations are not long-term or consistent (as I often try to do things differently), but were a result of ineffective thinking and expository writing.

21-Nov-2018 04:57:02

NotFishing

NotFishing

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Azi Demonica said :

I was surprised that forgetfulness is a symptom of passive-aggressive behaviour.


Only when it's deliberate.

ie. there's something they need, so you deliberately move it to make their life that much more difficult. When they confront you, you just shrug and say it was an accident. Or they ask you to do something, so you decide to leave it to the last possible minute and do the bare minimum amount of work, because you don't feel particularly compelled to help them but you aren't going to outright refuse them.

Another example of passive-aggressiveness would include making comments that imply there is some sort of problem, but don't directly address the issue. Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

21-Nov-2018 05:03:33 - Last edited on 21-Nov-2018 05:06:18 by NotFishing

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