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The Trial of Yelps

Quick find code: 49-50-652-63909376

Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thanks.

For those who are wondering why neither the trial nor the execution take place at Botany Bay, there are two reasons:

1. This story was written before Botany Bay came out.

2. One crime Yelps CANNOT be accused of is botting. So he's out of the Botfinder General's jurisdiction.

28-Oct-2012 03:51:26

FoulFowl UFO

FoulFowl UFO

Posts: 4,002 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I loved this story and someday hope for it to come true.
I hate the wheel with a passion, and the image of Yelps had become the icon of Gambling to me, and after reading many of your posts against SoF after clicking on your profile, I must say I coudln't have ever summed up my feelings about the wheel any better than you have.
You may possibly be the wisest player I have ever seen on Runescape's forums or any game at that.
I'm still at the fresh age of 18 and still only starting to understand the reality of this world, and thanks to reading your posts, I'm another step closer.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm kissing ass, but I mean every word.
I hope a talented animator on Newgrounds would make a flash movie of your story since it obviously wouldn't stay on youtube very long, and if there were Anti-Yelps T-Shirts, I'd definitely buy one.

This game, as well as the internet as a whole needs more people like you in it.

19-Apr-2013 10:43:48

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This entire story already happened. However...

The FINAL final chapter...

The Pillar (yes, it has a name) still serves as Yelps' grave, however, not burying him six feet below, as deep as Daemonheim, as that was the pillar's size. The crash of the pillar onto Yelps was so great that it created a cavity below it, about the size of Cliff, the troll. Yelps' body lays in that cavity, in a position and condition that makes a man wish to vomit his eyes out along with his brain, then turn it to TokKul. TzHaar themselves have been suggesting to turn Yelps into TokKul, and many people were in favor of that, but nobody had the ability or equipment to do it. Plus, the sentance was death, not everlasting torture. Yelps would still be alive in the TokKul, however live in agonizing pain from being infinitesimally crushed in it.
Even the Pillar was unable to actually kill Yelps. Death never managed to collect his soul for the afterlife. He lays still, in the cavity. At least he would be trapped in there forever, unable to do any harm whatsoever. It is pitch black in there. Imagine you're in the middle of the cavity yourself. A yellow portal appears to your left, and a figure crosses through it.

"Eh..." is the only sound that Yelps could make to be a scream, although more... whistley, as his windpipe was crushed and sent through his left eyeball.

The figure walks over to Yelps. His right eyeball manages to turn to the figure slightly to see it, but not completely make it out. The figure grabs a foot and drags, and his shin bone trails behind. The figure picks up other pieces of his body left in the cavity, and goes through the portal. The portal then closes, making a motion that an eye would do to close itself. A blink, you might say. The red tinge leaves.

Still, to this day, nobody has ever seen Yelps, however there was one incident where Blink said "I found him! I found him!", and another where a brute said "I'll surely get my pay in real coins this tie!"

The REAL end!
Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

25-Nov-2013 23:51:46

Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Amusing, though my intention was for Death to reap him after the Pillar crushed him.

Considering that Yelps can still be seen in-game, and his pop-up still shows up, I'm sticking to the idea that this story has not happened yet.

I have revised some dialogue here and there to fit in with the Sixth Age. Kaqemeex's dialogue about Guthix was changed to reflect the change in the status quo following The World Wakes. And I've thought about adding something else to the trial portion, to reflect some of the later Squeal promotions that I've found to be in questionable taste (the golden chinchompa, the Icthlarin and Amascut masks, and such). Yelps keeps finding new crimes to commit to add to the list of charges, I'd say.

11-Dec-2013 00:30:40

Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ah, and now with the Treasure Hunter thing, I might end up revising this story soon. It's possible Yelps might not be long for this world soon.

I might add some new material reflecting this. Let's see what happens first, though.

20-Jan-2014 23:02:49

Kyouran
Feb Member 2018

Kyouran

Posts: 1,496 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Darelzel said :
"Hah!" Yelps said, with a snarl. "You don't understand! None of you understand! None of you have the Insight to embark on a profitable Venture like me and my Partners embark upon!"


10/10.
"Decadence is the total loss of unconsciousness, which is the very basis of life. Could it think, the heart would stop beating." — Fernando Pessoa

19-Feb-2014 13:36:42

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