RuneScape Forum Archive | The Trial of Yelps

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Intermission: This story will now take an intermission. In the meantime, I'll explain a few things (but I WON'T explain the jokes. I'd like to give people a chance to get the jokes before talking about them).

The opinions of the first-person narrator are strictly my own opinions and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of any other RuneScape player. However, I sense that many other people feel the same way as I do so it should be easy for them to imagine themselves in the same position as the narrator.

I was stuck on a place to set the trial. I wanted a HUGE gathering with lots and lots of people present, but the Seer's Village Courthouse wouldn't suit it. Thanks to the 2011 Halloween Event, I had an inspiration.

And yes, I am sentimental for Tutorial Island, and am always trying to come up with new ways to work it and those tutor characters into the game.

I can see why so many quest designers and event designers work in the Goblin Generals Bentnoze and Wartface. They're fun and easy to write for.

In any case, I had to put them in here because I knew they'd have interesting things to say in this case.

The judge's producing the black cap is an old English custom from long ago. When a judge in England sentenced someone to death, they put on a black cap over top of the judicial wig. When the death penalty was abolished in England, the black cap custom pretty much went with it.

Since RuneScape is a British game, and the Court Case has an old English judge's wig as a prize for participating, I thought it'd be appropriate to reference that custom in this context.

And yes, I go back and forth between the American and the British spelling of 'armour'. Sorry about that. I couldn't help it.

28-Jul-2012 02:15:53 - Last edited on 31-Jul-2012 00:00:33 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The ragged man is completely fictitious. As far as I know, no one has come close to suffering his fate yet. But he IS inspired by people who claim to have gambling problems based on a certain controversial distraction.

I was stuck on which representative of the Taverley Druids to use for a while, but in the end I settled on Kaqemeex. He doesn't seem to have much better to do than druid rituals and handing out the Herblore Skillcape, so I thought he'd be the right choice to be the one to testify. Others I considered in the role were Jatix, Sanfew, Ivy Sophista, and Thaerisk. Please note that this was written before The World Wakes, where Kaqemeex takes a slightly more active role as one of the Guardians of Guthix. I rewrote a bit of his dialogue so that it makes sense both before and after the events of that quest.

The Signature Heroes were there mostly to give our first-person protagonist someone to talk to who wasn't associated with the court. We'll be seeing a bit more of them when we come to the next portion of the story. This includes at least one who didn't get any lines during the trial.

I thought of using familiar RuneScape NPCs in the jury, but decided it didn't really matter. I also decided on the Court Cases Judge and prosecutor because I couldn't think of any other RuneScape NPCs who might be good in those roles.

Look forward to cameos by other NPCs in the next portion. I'll see who I can work in if it will make sense in the story.

And now, back to the story of the Trial of Yelps and his eventual fate.

WARNING: The following portion will contain dark comedy. Consider yourself warned.

28-Jul-2012 02:16:07 - Last edited on 21-Mar-2013 19:34:02 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Chapter 7: Preparations

I did not really sleep well that night. First, I had trouble getting to sleep at all because my mind was too active. My mind was still on the events of the trial. The defense attorney's nonsensical arguments still greatly annoyed me, and then there was Yelps' disturbing breakdown on the stand. I couldn't get his high-pitched, maniacal laughter out of my mind.

Finally, I was able to sleep, but my dreams were not good. I dreamed that Yelps was hovering over me, glaring at me with a malevolent expression. "You will spin." he said in an ominous tone. "You will spin! You will SPIN!"

I woke up in a cold sweat.

I looked around, and much to my relief, Yelps was nowhere in sight. But that should not have been too much of a surprise. I knew, intellectually, that unless I saw him in prison, the only time I would ever see Yelps again was during his execution.

If I chose to attend, that is. In all honesty, I am not a big fan of public executions and I usually tried to avoid them whenever possible.

So anyway I got up and dressed in my usual attire, and wandered around Gielinor pausing to do various skills or check my bank.

Not surprisingly, no matter where I went, people were talking about Yelps' trial and the impending execution. From Relleka to Nardah, it seemed to be the main topic of conversation among adventurers and even among some of the residents.

People were speculating as to the method of execution, which had not been announced. "They're going to hang him, right?" "No, they're going to feed him to a dragon." "Are you kidding? The dragon would probably get sick and die right there!" "I hear they're going to tie him to a dart board!"

(continued next post)

28-Jul-2012 02:16:21 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 21:14:03 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Over at Port Sarim, Brimhaven, and Mos Le Harmless, pirates were suggesting keelhauling or forcing Yelps to walk the plank. I paused to ask a few "Do you know where the execution is going to take place? Those methods only work if it takes place on a ship. Preferably one at sea."

The pirates were forced to admit they didn't know.

The goblins at Goblin Village seemed especially delighted, and I was sure many of them were going to attend the execution. Bentnoze and Wartface would be far from the only ones who had axes to grind with the money-grubbing runt goblin.

My clan, meanwhile, was still organizing skilling meetings and reporting Evil Tree and Crashed Star sightings, but the topic came up there, too. Many said they were going to attend the execution.

After a while of wandering, I met with a few of the Signature Heroes at the Blue Moon Inn. Much to my surprise, most of the usual crowd, with the exception of Dr. Harlow and the barbarian woman, were absent, so Sir Owen, Ariane, Ozan, and Xenia had a table set up for them to sit at. I decided to join them there.

"So, are you going to attend the execution?" Ozan asked.

"It's all anyone's talking about today." I replied. "But I'm not sure. It does seem a bit ... much. Usually thieves seem to just get thrown in Port Sarim jail."

"Yelps did far worse than the thieves at Port Sarim jail." Sir Owen reminded me. "Not only did he make people part with their hard-earned money in a dubious game of chance, but he also encouraged underage gambling, and trading with currency that is not of Gielinor. A message needs to be sent that such actions are not welcome here."

"An example needs to be made of him so that this will not happen again." Xenia added. "I have seen such things before, and when done right, they can be very effective."

(continued next post)

28-Jul-2012 02:34:56 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 21:14:38 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"People are taking bets on how it's going to be done." Ozan said. "All adults, I'm sure. Some are betting on hanging. Some say he's going to be burned to the stake."

"I heard that they're going to send him to that Black Hole I heard about, but without a Disk of Returning." Ariane said.

"That's not an execution, that's just banishment." Ozan replied. "Word has it the council really wants to make it something spectacular."

"It will probably be quick." Sir Owen said. "He most likely will not feel a thing."

"I don't think so. You haven't been hearing all the suggestions that have been coming forth." Ozan said.

Xenia nodded. "As I said, they need to make an example out of him. A quick and merciful beheading or impaling may not be enough."

"I've heard the crowd." I said. "There's speculation going around everywhere."

"I suppose we will find out soon enough." Ariane said. "Will you be attending the execution?"

"I haven't decided yet." I said. "On the one hand, he's a bad guy. There's no question about it. On the other, I'm not sure I want to see what they do to him."

"The execution is tomorrow." Xenia said. "You will have until dawn to decide."

"I'll think about it." I replied.

I went about my business for the rest of the day. All along, I continued to hear talk about the execution. Still, I wondered if I actually wanted to see the sight. I had to admit, however, that I was wondering just what the method would be.

28-Jul-2012 02:35:11 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 21:13:30 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Chapter 8: The Scene

That night, I had another bad dream. Yelps was appearing in front of me. "Go away!" I shouted.

"You will spin!" Yelps shouted.

"No I will not! Go away!"

"You WILL SPIN!" Yelps shouted, a little louder.

"GO AWAY!"

"YOU WILL SPIN!!!" Yelps screamed. "You will use all your spins! Extra spins for the win! And look here... you will BUY! BUY!"

"I'd sooner eat camel dung!" I shouted. "GO AWAY YOU FILTHY, MONEY-GRUBBING PARASITE!"

I realized that I had just shouted that last line aloud, and I was awake, in my room. Yelps was nowhere in sight, much to my relief.

But that dream settled it. I needed to attend the execution, if only to get some much needed closure.

So I got up, got dressed, and prepared for the event. It was not long before Postie Pete appeared before me. "A letter from Sir Amik Varze." he said.

I took the letter, and read it.

"On behalf of the White Knights of Falador, the Temple Knights, the Imperial Guard, the Varrock Guardsmen, the Dwarf Black Guard, the Void Knights, the Black Knights, the Goblin Village, the Wizard's Tower..."

I skipped through the letter just a bit, as it seems almost every authority organization in Gielinor were on the list of inviters.

"...you are invited to the execution of the hated criminal Yelps, to be held in a special area accessable via portal just outside of Duel Arena."

"Ah, so that's where it's going to be held."

I wasted no time in teleporting to the area. I soon found myself just north of Al Kharid, in the midst of a huge crowd. Everyone was headed to a portal that had appeared just outside the Duel Arena entrance gate. There were adventurers, Al Kharid citizens, White Knights, Lumbridge citizens, Varrock Citizens, dwarves, gnomes, goblins, and all sorts of others entering the portal.

(continued next post)

28-Jul-2012 02:35:24 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 21:16:10 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I followed them, and found myself transported to what seemed to be another desert location.

Nearby was a building that resembled the Duel Arena in some respects. The crowd headed toward the building, directed by a few supervising guards. "This way to the site of the execution! Move in an orderly fashion toward the arena."

I started recognizing a few people as I approached the building. Some of my clanmates were there, and I saw just about everyone who had been at the trial two days ago. Ozan, Ariane, Sir Owen, Xenia, Linza, and the Raptor were right ahead of me.

We soon found ourselves surrounded by the walls of the building. Like the Duel Arena, it was an open-air building. Unlike the Duel Arena, there were a series of raised benches reaching from the ground of the arena to the walkways above. This meant there would be plenty of seating for the event that was to follow.

The arena itself was filled with all sorts of strange objects. Not the least of which was this giant metal device of some sort that looked to be over a hundred feet tall and six inches wide. I wondered what this was for. In front of it appeared to be platforms and a cage, and what appeared to be gallows.

I took a seat on one of the benches, along side of Ariane and Ozan. "Judging from the size of the crowd, it will be standing room only soon enough." Ariane remarked.

Of course, she was right about that. The benches were soon all filled up, and the walkways above were crowded with spectators. In the arena, a group of musicians began playing a song. "This is a song we composed, in honor of this occasion." the leader of the musicians said.

The musicians began playing, and singing.

"Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Poor boy, you're bound to die.

One day he had the notion
That he could sell spins
Make folks spend their money
Hoping for big wins"

28-Jul-2012 02:35:39 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 21:19:11 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"He robbed folks of their money
By luring them to sin
Every day he'd show up
Urging them to spin

Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Poor boy, you're bound to die

The people they were outraged
The council they did call
To them they demanded
That Yelps should take his fall

Reckon that tomorrow
Know just where he'll be
Crushed beneath a pillar
And sent to eternity

Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Poor boy you're bound to die"

As the group repeated the chorus, guards and officials were streaming into the arena.

"Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, O Yelpsy
Poor boy, you're bound to die.
Poor boy, you're bound to die."

The musicians finished their song, as the crowd applauded. Though to be honest, the song got mixed reaction. Some of the crowd clearly liked it, while others were impatiently waiting for the main event. "Less singing, more splatting!" someone said.

The Raptor said "Not impressed."

At this point, King Roald of Misthalin moved to the center of the arena, accompanied by Councillor Halgrive of Ardougne and Sir Tiffy Cashien of the Temple Knights.

King Roald addressed the crowd. "We are gathered here to witness the execution of the criminal known as Yelps. His actions have been ruled treasonous not just to Misthalin, but to Kandarin, Asgarnia, and all of Gielinor. And as such he will suffer the maximum penalty. Dignitaries of every province west of the River Salve are present to bear witness to this event."

"Bring in the condemned criminal."

He motioned to a nearby gate.

(continued next post)

28-Jul-2012 02:54:27 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 21:20:50 by Darelzel

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Chapter 9: The Method

The gate opened, and several heavily-armed guards dragged Yelps into the arena. Yelps was in chains, and clad in prison greys. At once, the crowd got into a frenzy. "DOWN WITH YELPS! DOWN WITH YELPS!" some chanted. "DEATH TO YELPS! DEATH TO YELPS!" others chanted.

A few threw rotten tomatoes at Yelps from the stands. Yelps, meanwhile, was looking completely miserable. However, I was not at all taken in, and neither were most of the people present.

King Roald quickly spoke again. "The crowd will refrain from throwing any further items at the condemned..."

A loud chorus of boos ensued.

"...until prompted otherwise." King Roald added.

An executioner wearing a black executioner's hood approached. Councillor Halgrive and Sir Tiffy turned toward Yelps.

"I say, I believe this is the part where we ask the condemned if he has any last words." Sir Tiffy said.

"Indeed." Councillor Halgrive said. "Yelps, you have been sentenced to be publically executed today before this crowd. Have you any last words?"

Yelps smiled. "Extra spins for the..." he never finished the sentence for a rotten tomato hit him directly in the face.

"Not impressed." said the Raptor. "Should have been a flail."

Yelps glared at the crowd. If looks could kill, most of the crowd would have died right there. "You don't get it! None of you get it! You'd rather stand in the way of someone trying to make some honest money!"

"Honest? HA!" someone shouted. There was a loud chorus of boos.

"That'll be enough." Halgrive said.

"Take him to the gallows." King Roald ordered.

The guards dragged Yelps to the gallows, as he struggled and squealed.

"So they're just going to hang him?" I asked.

"That's what it looks like." said Ariane.

The Executioner began placing a noose over Yelps' head, as Yelps blew a raspberry at the crowd. The crowd responded with boos and raised fingers.

(continued next post)

01-Aug-2012 21:22:19

Darelzel

Posts: 3,587 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"HANG YELPS! HANG YELPS!" chanted many in the crowd. I winced, realizing that I was surrounded by people demanding a creature's death. Despite what Yelps had done, I couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable.

With the noose now tight around the runt goblin's neck, the Executioner moved to the lever to pull it. The trap door opened, and Yelps was suspended by the neck tied with the rope. The crowd cheered as they saw Yelps struggling and trying desperately to squirm free of the noose. After about a minute, Yelps was still.

The crowd was silent, and then they began cheering loudly. And then Yelps opened his eyes and smiled.

With a sneaky smile, Yelps squirmed free of the noose and landed on his feet on the floor. "Hah! You'll have to do better than that!"

The cheers turned to boos. The Executioner turned to Yelps. "All right, I guess we'll have to do things the hard way."

He motioned to a few dwarves nearby. "Ready the device!"

"The device?" I asked.

Yelps was restrained by the guards and the Executioner. The Executioner grabbed Yelps and placed him on a platform attached to the giant metal device. The Executioner stood next to Yelps, as King Roald spoke.

"It is clear that a mere hanging will not be sufficient." King Roald said. "You have my authorization to use the Multi-Pulley Mechanical Pillar Dropping Device."

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's a newly proposed means of execution." Xenia said. "I'm sure you will get the idea."

The Executioner gave the signal to his dwarf assistants. At once, the dwarves activated the device. A pulley system raised the platform carrying the Executioner and Yelps to the top of the towering metal structure. The Executioner then placed Yelps in what appeared to be a titanium metal cage. Yelps was trapped under what appeared to be a series of gears.

The Executioner turned a wheel on the top of the structure, and the gears began turning. A large glowing block of metal came into view. I could not believe what I was seeing.

01-Aug-2012 21:24:26

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The Trial of Yelps