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An unlikely adventure.

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Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 7: Finale pt 6: Wel*, that's the end of it all I guess.

Gurrath: You'll pay for this, Yukkah!
Yukkah: What're you going to do to me? Please make my death quick!
Gurrath: Dude, I can't do anything now that I'm just a head. Just... crawl with my moth-mandibles I guess. Pretty much an invincible mortal here.
Yukkah: So you mean... literal pay?
Gurrath: Yup, lifetime sentence to cleaning the cutimabba pens.
Yukkah: Oh no...
Jess: Aww, those sound so adorable! ^_^
Gurrath: They are! But uh...
Jess: Oh, I see. *w.
John: Hey, what WERE you gonna do as an elder god anyhow?
Yukkah: Meh, 'bout the same as Gurrath, but more selfish.
Gurrath: Crud, I just realized... the murdering girl is an elder god now!
John: Actually, we're a group of World Guardians. We can't ascend.
Mel: Dangit, was gonna build MechaBandos, mount Tuska and kill as many gods as I could with them!
John: Wasn't Bandos himself bad enough?
Mel: Nope!
Noob: So I'm not 99 everything now!?!? Dangit!
John: Whatchu talkin 'bout Willis?
Noob: That god energy has to be in someone! But who!?!?
Yukkah: I'm not glowing, *urrath is an elder god but just the head...
Ragtag: Ava?
Ava: What?
Gurrath: A robot elder god. Nice! :D
Ava: Aw yes!!!
Jess: You obviously don't need us anymore. *sniff*
Ava: Ah, don't worry guys! I'll still be with you when needed. Now I can do it from far away!
John: Now what to do with *urrath's head...
*urrath: Yeah, what IS gonna happen to me?
Jess: Mount him on our citadel keep's party room wall?
Ava: Nice! And make it detachable!
Gurrath: What about my Gurrathians? They need a ruler!
Jess: Split 'em off into monarchies or democracies?
Gurrath: Not bad! Certainly more benevolent ones!
Noob: Soooo, we're done here?
John: Uh, yeah, that about covers it.
Noob: Finally I can relax! *sits*
Jess: Noob you're sitting in the cannon.
Noob: Huh, that explains the burning sensation on my butt.
Mel: I know how to end this! *goes to fire the cannon*
Noob: Wait, no! No! FfffffFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

End! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

30-Dec-2014 05:19:47 - Last edited on 11-Jan-2015 16:58:25 by Jimothey

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Epilogue: The REAL Finale pt 1: Reminiscence

Jess sits down in the Citadel Party room, pondering on her and her four best friends' (Ava is an in-game character with a realistic personality, don't judge her!) most recent adventure.
Jess: Holy crud, it's been a whole year.
Gurrath: Since what?
Jess: Since, well, John found the portal inside that evil tree which pretty much started the whole thing with Juk and you and... everything else that's happened for this long span of time. And also that was the most time me and my best friends have spent together, and now we just talk over clan chat...
*urrath: Oh yeah! I saw that you guys came through in that portal in a guard report! And look on the bright side, that was the most harrowing experience of your life wasn't it? Be glad that it's over with.
Jess: It was actually all really exciting, and now, everything's just so... boring again...
*urrath: *sigh* let me tell you something: I've been a god for a couple million years and an elder for 15 million more after.
Jess: Yikes! That must'** been boring.
*urrath: It was. But before that I was a mortal-hunter acting as a puppet of an elder god! And for what? Just to meet the same fate as the mortals I've killed except worse. I'm GLAD I became a god! It was just very boring. And now... I'm actually glad that I'm just a head so I don't have to be a god anymore! So be glad you got what you got.
Jess: Oh yeah, why?
*urrath: I'd have enslaved you and stripped you of your World Guardian powers and you'd be doing what Yukkah's doing if it were anything else.
Jess: Okay yes that is worse! Whew, thanks!
Gurrath: And besides, you can always arrange plans to meet with your clanmates!
Jess: Yeah, I can, I'm the leader after all!
Gurrath gets a PM
Gurrath: Hey Pubahwhatthe, guess what?
Jess: What?
Gurrath: I think you can arrange some plans with your friends now! 'cause I just got a message from Jagex.
Jess: YES ME CALL FRIENDS NOW. *pms John, Noob, and Mel, and calls Ava*

To Be Continued Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

18-Jan-2015 04:04:29

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Epilogue: The REAL Finale pt 2: Reveal

Jess, John, Mel, and Noob enter a portal that shows up in front of Gurrath. Not Ava, it makes a hologram since it can't fit anywhere anymore now that it's an elder god. Elder godhood REALLY makes someone let go!

Pips: We've caught the hacker, Gurrath!
Gurrath: So Durial321 spilled the beans?
Mark: Nah, this is some other guy named Bob Jones. Durial's a glitcher, not necessarily a HACKER.
Gurrath: Ah.
John: Wait, *urrath, you personally know Jagex?
Gurrath: I'm one of their NPCs programmed with a security function!
Mark: Ah, I see you guys completed A Juk's Traitor! How was the quest?
John: Pretty good, although the only kink to that clan quest was that there was able to be a single clan member doing everything :P
Jess: You didn't tell us we were doing a quest! :@
John: Oh yeah, I forgot! :D
Mark: We'll put the complaint with the patch team.
Mel: Where's the hacker? I wanna punch his jaw so hard that it goes backwards into and through his throat, wraps around the world, and meets his mouth again!
Noob: WOW that was specific! I wanna do THAT instead of just kicking him in the junk! NYEH! *punches Bob Jones but deals negative 1000 damage, killing himself*
Bob Jones: Whaddaya guys want, you already put me in prison!
A. Gower: We wanted to know why did you hack this glitch into an update I've been secretly planning?
Bob: This game's only going downhill. I was saving tens of thousands of players' time!
Mel: WOW does this guy serve his opinions!
Jess: And add heaps of overkill to it!
Noob: With a side of crazy!
John: And a nice drink of SHADDUPMYOPINIONISFACT!
Ragtag: ALL TO GO!
A. Gower: Delete the glitch NOW!
Bob: Can't it's rooted into the system. You're stuck with it FOREVER! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Everyone sighs sadly except Bob.
Pips: At least tell us what you added so we can prepare the players...
Bob: Very well, it won't do you any good: I added *drumroll* computer controlled players to ruin the game's economy! I call them: BOTS! :D Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

18-Jan-2015 04:31:50

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Everyone but Bob just looks at eachother, confused yet bored.
Everyone but Bob: PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! XD
Bob: What's so funny? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING!
Mark: AHAHAHAHA! Oh my, we thought, hahaha! We thought Andrew's description of "eating at the game" was LITERAL! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Jess: John, this guy actually thinks bots DO something to the game!
John: I know, right!?!? Oh wait, actually yeah they're bad, BUT THEY'RE NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS DELETION OF THE GAME!
Bob: So wait, players are unfazed at the bots!?!?
Pips: Nonono, they're not unfazed, some have quit because of them! But we've severely decreased their numbers at least!
Bob: WHAT!?!?!? NO THIS CAN'T BE IT!
A. Gower: Ah, hey guys, nice sync with the fast food-diehard flamewar starter type thing!
Ragtag: Kind of our thing!
Pips: Ah, anyways, we're done here! See ya! *begins to kick Bob out*
Bob: Wait, no, wait! You can't do this to me! I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE LAST LAUGH! WAIT! NO! NO!
Jess: Hey guys, you hear that?
John: I think I do!
Mel: It's time to end this whole thing!
Noob: Here it comes!
Ragtag: THE ALWAYS MEMORABLE OH-SO-UNFORGETTABLE:
Bob: FffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-




And so, with the mods, clan, elder-god-avatar, and head of an ex-elder god all laughing, with the demise of the ever so secret villain (who attempted to ward off peanut-butter crackers at all costs, remember the bio example? XD), our epic story comes to a close. All is right in the world again! And I would be remiss in my duties if I were to not say that this certainly was-
Noob: Oh no you don't!
Jess: Yeah, WE'RE supposed to end this!
Mel: I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU SAY IT!
John: NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!
Ava: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Okay fine, jeez! I'll just say: End of this story!
Jess, John, Mel, Noob, and Ava: Phew!







...an unlikely adventure!
Jess, John, Mel, Noob, and Ava: ****! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

18-Jan-2015 04:51:29

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