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18-May-2014 01:18:02 - Last edited on 01-Jun-2014 05:08:55 by Jimothey

Chapter 4: A(nother) Noob Story pt 2: Alone in the world

At the clan camp, Ragtag is recruiting, and adding more and more clan members...

John: Hey Jess, what did we even need a fifth person in the clan for anyways?
Jess: I dunno. I have an itch that the two pillar things west of the meeting tent might need 5 people for some reason. Idk.
John: Huh. And why did Noob shove a toilet down Mel's mouth anyways?
Mel: Agh Cu uwlh uah Koah Shah.
Jess: Huh?
John: "I can only use Quick Chat." in potty-mouth. Heeey, THAT'S why Noob shoved a toilet in her mouth!
Jess: Wait, why?
John: Mel's a potty-mouth. Another name for toilet is "potty".
Jess: Still don't follow.
John: Noob was being clever.
Jess: OOOOOOOH! How did I not get that? Wait, where is Noob anyways? *looks around and doesn't see him*
John: Oh crap...

Meanwhile in Lletya...
Arianwyn: *to Gwir* How did he...
Gwir: I have absolutely no idea.
Noob: Sugar rocks on sticks! *biting crystal pike* that's weird...
Elf Warrior: It is BECAUSE YOU'RE BITING MY PIKE!
Noob: No, that's not it... oh! There's the problem! Needs more sugar! *sprinkles some gunpowder on the crystal pike*
Elf Warrior: Little does he know, when in contact with gunpowder, crystal explodes, also resulting in the gunpowder exploding. *explodes*
Noob: Huh. Why'd he lea- *crystal pike explodes* Hmm... Meh. I'm done here. *fart-rockets into space*
Jess, John, and Mel arrive.
John: Arianwyn! Can you tell us where this guy "Imsoprobro" is?
Arianwyn: He... fart-rocketed... into space...
Jess: Yep. Can't get any weirder than this.
Mel: Egh cuh aoah ush Hwi Haaa. *gargles toilet water onto an elf*
Elf: Wel*, there goes me. *explodes*
Jess: Or explosive for that matter.
John: So where will he go next?
Jess: Duh, space!
John: ...Should we get him down?
Jess: ...Nah.
Mel: *spits out toilet onto another elf, who explodes*
Jess: Okay seriously!?!?
Mel: Lol
Jess: You're unmu-
John: No, "Lol" is an option on Quick Chat.
Jess: *blows up an elf*

To Be Continued... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

24-May-2014 04:14:00 - Last edited on 01-Jun-2014 04:30:31 by Jimothey

Chapter 4: A(nother) Noob Story pt 3: Alone on Zanaris

In Zanaris...
Fairy Queen: How did he...?
Chaeldar: I have absolutely no idea.
Noob: *walking by the market gate* Hmmm, I need to get over that wall.
Gatekeeper: Give me one diamond and I'll let you through.
Noob: Will this cover it? *gives him a piece of lint*
Gatekeeper: *looking down at the piece of lint*...no. *looks back up to see a mannequin of Noob holding a piece of lint* Wha- how the- huh? *looks back to see Noob try to climb the gate* Umm...
Noob: Ngg-guh-gah-hagagh! *manages to climb to the other side*
On the other side of the gate...
Fairy Godfather: Think I'll go to that Irksol guy, and buy a few ruby rings. *looks up* AWH DA- *gets squished by Noob*
Noob: Huh? *scrapes the Fairy Godfather off his shoe* Eww...
Fairy Godfather: ...Irrispettoso... *dies*
Fairy Queen: *flies in* Did you just-
Noob: Yup. Climbed over the gate.
Fairy Queen: Yes but you killed- Wow that saves us a lot of troubles. Thanks!
CONGRATULATIONS! QUEST COMPLETE: A Fairy Tale pt III: Battle at Ork's Rift
Noob: Wowiee!
John: *walks in* Noob! There you a- wait, is that the Fairy Godfather on the ground?
Noob: Yup.
Jess: *walks in* ...you just completed a Fairy Tale part 3... without doing parts 1 and 2...
Noob: Uh huh.
Mel: Well looks like I'm unmuted.
Jess: Learned your lesson?
Mel: Yup. Cursing gets you muted. I'll just kill people now. *stabs Noob's neck, killing him* There!
John: Well that's a bit demented.
Mel: It was, it was.
Jess: So are we going back?
John: Yup. *teleports everyone to the Barbarian Outpost*

At the outpost...

Jess: Ah, fancy ol' Lunar Magic...
John: Getting ready for this "Livid Farm" update coming up later.
Mel: Well, hopefully nothing else bad happens...
Jess: Bad?
Mel: Bill left, 4 elves died, and there's now a noob in the clan.
Jess: Oh yeah.

Meanwhile, on a floating castle island...

???: I need somebody to find. I need a... purpose. Something! I need... to be someone's... avatar...

Chapter end. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

01-Jun-2014 05:08:01

Chapter 5: Free Machine pt 1: Night on the Town

It's nighttime and everyone is heading to bed.
In the Citadel...
Noob: Goodnight, Ava! <3 *kisses Ava goodnight before he leaves*
Ava: Goodnight.
Another clan avatar, Ava2, wakes up.
Ava2: Psst, hey Ava.
Ava: Yeah?
Ava2: Goodnight. *goes to dormancy*
Ava: Oh. Ok. Goodnight. *tries to be dormant, but is unsuccessful* Ugh, I can't sleep.
Ava2: *wakes up* Ugh, what?
Ava: How about a night on the town? Just you and me?
Ava2: But where will we go? We can't leave our habitat except for when a member gets us out with 300 orts!
Ava: True, but... *raises foot, as if about to exit the habitat*
Ava2: What're you doing!?
Ava: *steps out* Haha, yes! I got out! Coming with?
Ava2: No, I gotta sleep. If you wanna get in trouble with the masters, fine by me, but I'm gonna stay here where I'm told!
Ava: ...suit yourself I guess *leaves*
Ava2: Hmm... *tries to sleep but can't, knowing Ava might get in trouble* Ugh, fine... *leaves behind Ava*

At Varrock...

Ava is floating through the streets. Players are making comments like "That avatar doesn't have a player!" and "Whoa, who let the bots out?" Ava2 floats behind him.
Ava2: Dude!
Ava: Hey! I thought you were staying behind!
Ava2: Look, I only came because we're responsible for eachother. If one of us lets the other go rogue or something, the masters are pinning this on both of us! May as well as have some fun before they punish us.
Ava: Ok then. Soooo, where should we go?
Ava2: I dunno. Minigame or something?
Ava: Huh. Would make a bit more sense than a pair of ava's trying to get drunk at a bar, cuz we both know that's not happening! So what minigame should we go to?
Ava2: I dunno. We both have flags on our backs.
Ava: Castle Wars?
Ava2: Yes.

At Castle Wars...

Both avatars are on the red team, Ava using fire elemental arms as flamethrowers and Ava2 using earth elemental arms as missiles.
Ava: Dude this is awesome!
Ava2: Ye- *sees something* Wait a second!

To be continued... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

12-Jun-2014 02:49:41

Chapter 5: Free Machine pt 2: Breaking Bonds

Back at Castle Wars...

Ava: What?
Ava2: Look! It's our masters! *points towards the blue castle, which has Jess, John, Mel, and Noob situated on top*
Ava: I thought they were going to sleep!
Ava2: I'll take a closer look. *flies over there and back* Their eyes are closed...
Ava: Oh ok, then this is normal. They're sleep-gaming. They ALWAYS do this.
Ava2: Really?
Ava: Yeah. When we were sleeping in the habitat at times, they would be skilling at the plots. They'd wake me up with either mining, woodcutting, etcetera.
Ava2: How come I don't wake up from that?
Ava: You're a really heavy sleeper.
Ava2: No I'm not!
Ava: ...

Flashback to 2 days ago...
Ava2: *snoring really, really, REALLY loudly*
Ava: *trying to sleep* Grrr... *wakes up* Ugh... *splashes some water on Ava2, who still doesn't wake up*
Ava2: *snores louder*
Ava: RRRRGH! *goes to the keep, grabs a chair from the 2nd (1st for UK) floor, comes back, and smashes it over Ava2's head*
Ava2: Mmph. *snores louder*
Ava: ... *goes to the portal area, grabs a giant fine KBD statue, comes back, smacks that over Ava2 (not just his head, since the statue covered more area than the chair), puts it back, and comes back again*
Ava2: *still asleep* Mmm, tasty orts... *snores even louder*
Ava: *dips head in water below the two*
Back to the present...

Ava2: That was you? No wonder I felt a bit of an ache!
Ava: And no wonder that I STILL HAVE THE HEADACHE!!!
Ava2: So what now?
Ava: We finish this game, go somewhere else for a while, and when it's morning where they live, we return to the habitat before they wake up!
Ava2: Ok, so how are we going to get the flags without them noticing us?
Ava: Hell-OOO? We can float!
Ava2: Oh yea-
The sun rises, with The Lion Sleeps Tonight playing in the background. The four clan members are seen yawning as they start to wake up.
Ava: ...Crap...

To Be Continued... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

22-Jun-2014 05:56:50 - Last edited on 22-Jun-2014 05:57:12 by Jimothey

26-Jun-2014 19:13:26

08-Jul-2014 22:36:12

21-Jul-2014 03:45:08

Chapter 2: Watchers part 1: dirty dirty eyes...

Walking in a muddy field on Sugark-do-Wex...

Jess: ...And out of the blue, the guy goes "Phr33 s700f p10x" right after my lecture! I mea- *steps on a mound of mud* Ugh, I felt something under that...
Noob: Dig it out it might be good!
Mel: Weird, why would there be a mound of mud within these evenly spread out plains?
Ava: Scanning... Looks like a life-form is under there.
Jess: Lemme see. *wipes away the mud to uncover a three-foot-diameter eye* WHOALY!
John: I got this. *telegrabs the eye to see that it's a small jukan that appears to be part mage* Wow! Weird...
Mage Jukan: *touching pupil and whispering* Position compromised! Cloak activa- *gets smacked by John's staff* OW!
John: Hold him down!
Noob: WEEEEEE! *jumps on the jukan, disabling mobility*
Mage Jukan: Rgh! Let me go!
John: Okay, talk. Why are you here?
Mage Jukan: Never! I am a loyal Watcher under the liege of my lord Gurrath!
John: Okay you've told us everything. *casts miasmic barrage on the Watcher, killing him*
Jess: Okay I'm confused...
John: Okay it's easy. I quickly deducted that by the name "Watcher" that it's a sort of specialized spy under a higher power. When he said he was under the liege of Gurrath, it was obvious that he's behind it. So basically a watcher is a specialized spy under the liege of Gurrath. That's it. Any q's yalls got?
Jess: That's actually not what I was gonna ask.
John: Then what is it?
Jess: So telekinetic grab is in the normal spellbook and miasmic barrage is in the ancient spellbook.
John: So you're asking how I managed to cast them both?
Jess: No it's easy to know you combined the spellbooks, but the question is how'd you a MIASMIC spell!? Those were discontinued weren't they?
John: Oh it's a special attack on the staff that was added after Legacy Mode.
Jess: Huh. Learn something new erryday.
Mel: LET'S KILL WATCHERS!

To be continued... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

27-Jul-2014 22:41:57 - Last edited on 04-Aug-2014 05:25:06 by Jimothey

04-Aug-2014 06:00:20