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Crocefisso

Crocefisso

Posts: 1,385 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Twid, I must admit I am not too enthralled with the poem you recently posted - by Taylor Mali - because I am not a fan of colloquial language in poetry. I find it dumbs down poetry and detracts from the overall message. Sorry to say that, though at least it's not your poem.

13-Feb-2011 09:56:25

[#9BTA27XT7]

[#9BTA27XT7]

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here is a poem i wrote, I havent finished it and im sure it can be improved. Here goes.
I Need You
I'm standing out in the road
All alone, in the cold.
Looking at the front door
but cant step on that floor.
You kicked me out.
you told me not to shout.
but I said some things that shouldn't have been said,
Now all i feel is Dead.
Feeling down,
I turned around.
One step at a time
I'm never going to feel fine.
I got to the bar
It was way after dark.
Got messed up and thought about you.
Then i knew what I was going to do.
I looked for the nearest blonde.
I took her for a walk around the pond.
One thing led to another,
She called nine months later and said she was a mother.
I told her to find a better guy
because i wanted to die.
I lost the love of my life
my heart cut up by a knife.
I hung up the phone,
I sat there all alone.
I tried to keep my mind off of you
but there was nothing i could do!
I went and took a shower
then i bought a pretty flower.
I walked back up that lonely road.
Love to accompany me, i didn't feel alone.
I saw the house on the hill.
I didn't know what to feel,
but i kept going, one step at a time.
I knew, I was going to be fine.
The door, Oh i stopped and took a deep breath.
If she doesn't love me, this is going to be my death.
I raised my hand and knocked.
The door opened and i frozed in shock.
You came out with tears in your eyes.
At that moment I wanted to die.
I hurt you so much inside.
Now i need to confide.
I love you more than anything.
you are my everything.
I don't want to be without you.
I just wouldn't know what to do.
She said you really broke my heart
Peice by peice, you ripped it apart.
You said I hate you.
You hurt me so I now hate you.
I pulled her closer to me.
I said im so sorry.
This is how i want it to be.
Me holding you close to me,
Why couldn't I see?
I love you.
I need you.

21-Feb-2011 07:47:56 - Last edited on 21-Feb-2011 07:51:12 by [#9BTA27XT7]

[#9BTA27XT7]

[#9BTA27XT7]

Posts: 924 Gold Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
this next one i just wrote today. all i did was just write something.
Nothing is coming to my head.
my mind is dead.
The pen unwilling to move
The last word of mine..^
i cannot rhyme
So i skipped a line
to make the poem fine.
I still need much improvement
I only write for amusement.
I try so hard to make the words rhyme
Half of them i can't even define.
So here I am making a fool
My usage of words so cruel.
A horrible poem, A horriple paper.
Time to end its life with a stapler.

(then i stapled the paper so many times with a stapler lol. Got sent to the office for it. it was awesome)

22-Feb-2011 04:00:24

Kotane

Kotane

Posts: 7,110 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Our hearts entwine like branches,
We grow leaves, shining our love onto others.
Bearing fruit, passing our goodwill along.
We shade the sadness with our steadfast light.
Our hearts bearing kindness onto others.
Passing goodness along like a gift.
Each of us looks different but we share our roots.
Birds sing in our presence
Of the destined meeting someday,
Where our two natures become one.
Then we will bear fruit of light
And the snow on our hearts melts away,
And the branches grow again.
We will soar above the clouds, growing tall.
Then everyone can see our love.
Bearing it, and we trust the leaves to carry us along.
They shine like stars in the night when we sleep
And blend with our hearts when we are awake.
Love grows, we come together, and live happily.

25-Mar-2011 14:44:24

Tarsierr

Tarsierr

Posts: 236 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
You’re the walls surrounding me,
Suspending the roof high above the trees,
Sheltering me from the maelstrom outside,
Defending me against the tempest of life
You’re Sun, shining down on my face,
Sustaining my life, even whilst far away from this place,
Warming my entire being, despite the chill,
Setting me ablaze with a flame that cannot kill
You’re the clouds in the heavens above,
Bathing me in a waterfall of rain I can only describe as love,
Ridding me of every tear and ever qualm,
Unshackling my heart until all that remains is the unburdened calm
You’re the melodies floating upon the breeze,
Consuming me like the water in the seas,
Lifting my soul so high I stand with God,
Showing me that the beauty of the world is more than a façade
You’re the everlasting expanse of blue,
Gracefully overshadowing the moon,
Constantly consuming my vision with your elegance,
Revealing to me the constellations as they dance
You’re the unyielding river that forever flows,
Compelling me forth, even as my heart slows,
Lending me vigor; fortitude, so that I may endure,
Conferring to me a sense of assurance that I might believe I am secure
Your words, always sanguine, seek to lessen the pain,
And how could they fail, when they shower me like rain?
Nostalgia is causing my heart to tremble, my eyes to cry,
As I await your delicate touch to wipe them dry.
When, at long last, that thought is no longer so surreal,
I will twist your grasp into mine, and into the night we will steal.
No more will I lay in the darkness, my sanity on the verge of death,
For we will withstand the world together until our final breath.
Just bear the distance for a moment longer, my friend,
Soon, I will cross it, and put this sorrow to an end.

25-Mar-2011 15:11:29 - Last edited on 25-Mar-2011 15:15:45 by Tarsierr

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