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Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Velia said :
Bump.

Random thing of funny:
I decided to name one of my ships "Sliske", this has resulted in some hilarious port updates (especially if you cut out some parts):

-" The captain of Sliske is paranoid that someone is stealing his hat while he sleeps"

-" The crew of Sliske wanted to know how many sailors would fit in the crow's nest at once. The experiment ended badly."

-" Your ship Sliske almost sails off the edge of the world, then remembers Gielinor is a globe."

Happened to me too.

The crew of The Godless are singing sea shanties... very, very badly.

Your ship The Godless has defeated a vast socktopus formed out of huge piles of wizards' discarded socks.

Your ship The Godless was painted in rainbow colours and is now 20% cooler.

09-Jan-2014 19:06:29

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
A Rising Action

Sliske surveyed the Empyrean Citadel.

He hadn’t captured it per say, but it was his until he was through with it. With his Grand Ascendancy coming up, he needed a striking location with which to demonstrate himself as someone of great measure, even compared to the gods, as well as to give his announcement the weight it needs to be effective.

Now that he was here though, it probably would have been more convenient to just build a striking location from scratch, and find some other way to irritate Armadyl.

The stone base of the Citadel and much of the stone and metalworking had managed to survive the two millennia of disrepair, reflecting the skill of its constructors, as well as the quality of the materials. The wooden constructions however, which comprised the majority of the citadel, had not fared as well. Rot had set in decades, if not centuries ago, and debris from crumbling buildings littered the floor. Flecks of what may have once been gold leaf lay on the floor near the entrance archway and the remains of the wooden fence that decorated the front area.

Summoning his wights to clear the rubble, Sliske absent mindedly wondered exactly how much he would have to fix. Some of the wood looked fine from an outside perspective; maybe he could just leave those decent areas in their original condition?

Then a loud crack sounded throughout the citadel, courtesy of a long board springing up and whacking Torag in the face with enough force to bury the helm’s horns into the wood, punching out the other side.

Well, at least that question answered itself.

---

With a burst of energy, flames danced across the wooden debris and broken buildings, reducing the ruins of the once legendary citadel to ash, before a gust of wind blew the ash off the edge of the citadel.

More than a thousand feet below, a lucky adventurer just recently having set out from home stumbled across several hundred kilograms of ashes.

15-Jan-2014 04:08:04

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Well, looks like we’ll have to start from scratch.” Sliske said, “And for that I need someone to get materials.”

---

Relomia sat down on a nearby bench, sighing. While it was important and righteous work to inform others of the greatness of Sliske, it was also tiring and generally thankless work. If only she could see him again, it would all be worth it.

“Sliske…” she spoke her lord’s name longingly.

“Yes?” said the hooded figure who was suddenly sitting next to her on the bench.

“Eep!” she squeaked, before recognizing who it was.

Sliske was expecting a strong reaction from the girl, they seemed to be all the girl felt after he rescued her on a whim. He wasn’t expecting her to wrap her arms around him and sob loudly into his robes, soaking them with tears and poking a set of holes in them with her horns.

“Everyone that comes by, I tell them that you’re the greatest god, and that you know the way forward in these times, but almost no one listens to me!” She blubbered into his robes, “And-and someone called me a demon and some white knights chased me, and someone else thought I was a vampire, and one guy called me a shark! I don’t smell like fish or anything! Then some creepy guy tried to rub my horns, and I told him that only you could do that, and he kept following me until I set him on fire!”

Sliske weighed the pros and cons of teleporting away, and instead lightly brushed her hair with his hand, the young woman calming down as he did so.

“I did well, didn't I? I tried my hardest every day.” She mumbled under her breath.

“You did a good job, Relomia,” Sliske replied, a bit hesitantly.

She looked up at him, face red with blush and the back of her head now lying in Sliske’s lap.

15-Jan-2014 04:09:03

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“I need you to do something for me,” Sliske said down to Relomia, unknowing that his head was now positioned in such a way that the sun radiated behind his hood, giving him a golden halo framing his head. “Soon, I will be holding a Grand Ascendancy, where the most powerful forces in the world will come to see me, and they will be forced to dance like puppets on strings. Before then, I need materials to construct a base that will put the other gods to shame. If I can count on you to help me, I would be happy to have you at my side during the event.”

It was several seconds before realizing that the reason his votary wasn’t answering was because she had actually lost the ability to speak. Her lips were moving, but nothing came out. After she realized it herself and made a furious nod, Sliske made a flourish with his hand and a bag of money appeared, with several pieces of paper tied in the drawstrings.

Lifting Relomia off his lap, he sat the bag on the bench next to her and with one more pat on the head, he sank into the shadows and disappeared.

---

Sliske surveyed the now all but leveled citadel.

The garden areas were still (unfortunately) intact, the grass several feet high and infested with weeds. The barrows brothers had just begun working on them; well, most of them. Dharok and Torag were currently moving large ceramic pots found in the gardens and in the throne room that, upon opening them, were revealed to be filled with ancient gold coins. As if sensing Sliske’s thoughts about what to do with them, Ahrim came over and heated a coin while Torag crushed it between his two hammers, leaving a small, thin piece of gold leaf.

Well, that was one material that was no longer needed. Fortunately it wasn’t included on the list that Relomia had been given, importing enough gold leaf from Keldagrim to work with would have been too costly and would take too long to be practical.

15-Jan-2014 04:09:23

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Rebuilding the citadel to be similar to its original state would be simple, but why do things halfway? If only there was a way…

Suddenly, Sliske was struck with an idea. The shadow realm could view the present, so why wouldn’t one be able to view the past? With a bit of help of course.

Gripping the Staff of Armadyl, Sliske gathered the Barrows Brothers in front of him, and made his announcement to them.

“Barrows Brothers, you are the lucky subjects of my next experiment involving the power of the Shadow Realm. Watch this space.”

---

“That’s a rather large order that you’re making, young miss.” Bill the Sawmill Operator said, looking over the order for cloth and wood that he had just been handed. Ever since a second plankmaker opened up business close to a bank in Burthorpe, he had been steadily losing business. The other one did*’t have the infrastructure to make large orders, but since those odd mechanical people stopped showing up in perfectly ordered lines to have thousands of planks made at a time, he would only occasionally see a haggard cook or butler come in, with that scary demon man sometimes showing up in a torrent of fire and brimstone.

At least his employee costs were low, given the strange people who insisted on being allowed to work at the sawmill and refused payment, saying that the experience of working there was reward enough. Still not as strange as the people around the castle who seem to hate ivy with a passion normally reserved for bandits and murderers, but he might just feel that way because the former were more convenient for Bill.

“It is an order for my lord, part of an important mission that he has entrusted to me.” The girl said in a tone that probably meant to sound imperious, but was ruined somewhat by the daydreaming expression that she went into at the end of the sentence*

***’am?” Bill said, trying to get her attention back.

“Moia’s a half-human so that means there's hope for me!”Relomia shouted, before blushing furiously.

15-Jan-2014 04:10:29

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Ma’am, are you going to be picking up the order, or will you need it delivered somewhere?” Bill quite firmly decided to ignore the implications that were being implied.

“Um,” she started, “I copied the delivery instructions to the order, and it’s on the back.”

Looking on the back of the sheet, there was a helpfully scribbled note.

Place wood and cloth into delivery box near your left foot. It will be transported to the correct location.

Looking down, he saw that there was a medium sized box with a mask attached to the top of it. “Hello, I’ll be with you for a little while! Nice to meet you!” the mask said, smiling widely.

‘Must be wizards,’ Bill thought, ‘Wizards are always behind this kind of thing, ‘cause all wizards are crazy.’

---

Reaching deep within the connection that the Staff had to the Stone, to that concentrated connection it had to the flow of time itself, Sliske forced the Shadow Realm back. Instead of the Shadow Realm reflecting the present, it reflected that of the distant past. Flamed burned in reverse, revealing the buildings that once were, and then repaired themselves, rot receding, debris sliding back into place, flagpoles raising themselves and colour fading back into tattered flags that then became whole again.

Finally, the clouds were bathed in a red light, which then died back down. Aviansie flew back in reverse, landing back on the citadel.

It was… It was…
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeee

Sliske screamed in echo of the inhuman noise that echoed through his skull. It was a scream, but it wasn’t. It was louder than anything Sliske had ever heard, but made no sound. The concept of the present itself was reasserting itself, and the Shadow Realm was being pulled in two separate directions in time.

15-Jan-2014 04:11:04 - Last edited on 15-Jan-2014 04:13:08 by Cybernet377

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sliske felt himself forced back into the physical realm, and collapsed like a puppet with cut strings. That was new. Also new was his barrows brothers rushing over and checking him for injuries, Akrisrae using a short chant that calmed the pounding in Sliske’s head. After he finished, Akrisrae tilted his head, his glowing eyes forming little eye-smiles in the absence of other facial features.

“Do not worry,” Guthan spoke while supporting the Mahjarrat’s body, “We saw the past of this place. It will be done.”

Sliske sank into blackness.

---

Relomia had barely made it into the clothing store before she was set upon by the storekeeper.

“Hello and welcome, to Thesallia’s Fine Clothes! What are you here for today?” Thessalia asked, beaming.

“I just need a few things to make an event memorable for a certain person.” Relomia mentioned, rummaging in her robes for the list.

“A-an event? ” Thessalia stammered,“Well, I don't normally stock those outfits, and I’m not sure how a white apron would look on your bare skin, usually you’d try to have warmer colours for a grey like that but-“

“Girl, she meant an actual event, not some suspicious encounter like in those books that you read,” deadpanned the older woman in the corner.

It was too late though, Relomia’s face was already the same shade as her eyes. With great force of effort, she managed to eek out a handful of words. “Cloth…and…Dye. Here…list.”

Thrust forward was a slip of paper with several lines of items, amounts, and an astonishingly accurate assessment of how much the order was worth, only two coins higher than what it would actually cost. When Relomia was told this, she sheepishly asked for a single white apron to be added onto the order.

Just in case she needed it. For… cooking .

15-Jan-2014 04:13:58 - Last edited on 15-Jan-2014 04:24:01 by Cybernet377

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“And where you need these delivered?” Thessalia asked, raising her voice as Relomia left the store.

“I’d suppose it would go in here.” Iffie commented, and lightly kicked a long box with a mask attached to the front. “The thing was spat out of the shadows the moment you took the order from her.”

“Ten points to Gryphend- no, too obvious. Either way, you would be correct.” The mask spoke. “I think I remember you from somewhere though. Would you happen to know my likeness?

“Years and years ago my dear, but my sister is the one that tells stories, not me. Everyone needs to keep a few secrets, don’t you agree.” Iffie replied, a small smile in the corner of her mouth.

---

Dharok carried loads of planks larger than himself, his Wretched Strength only growing as more exertion was put onto his body. Guthan tended the gardens, tearing up weeds and using his spear as a lever to uproot saplings and small trees. Verac and Torag worked together, making joints and fitting them into the perfect position, according to an incredibly complex blueprint that was only existent in their minds. Karil secured the planks that the two moved into position, long metal bolts punching into the wood and securing them together with the force that only a powerful crossbow could muster.
Truly the centuries had not impeded the Brother’s past experience as laborers and farmhands, although the two odd ones out were the two mages.

Akrisrae had enslaved several lost spirits, and was teaching them how to sew, cut and dye the cloth to make the decorations needed to give the place the majesty it once had.

Ahrim however, had used some basic necromancy to kill and immediately revive a large number of small birds, which he then used to cull the insects and other pests that had made their home in the area. This had the unfortunate effect of making him look like a demented version of one of the princesses from human children’s stories, who controlled birds and small animals to perform menial duties.

15-Jan-2014 04:15:58

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
There was even a zombified canary sitting on Ahrim’s shoulder looking satisfied with the situation.

Regardless, construction was well on its way by the time Sliske finally awakened.

After a short period of time, a large group of pelicans flew in and poured sand from their mouths, which Ahrim began using to reinforce the glass floor of the audience chamber. A good idea, given that the floor was likely not originally designed for a being like Bandos. As funny as the god plummeting through the floor would be, it would most likely cause the war god to ignore the game and search for Sliske.

Guthan moved over to Sliske, and spoke, “I am almost finished with the gardens, and all that will be left is to grow grass in the bare patches. We have limited time, so I will keep the grass very short.”

Ah, yes, the grass seed. It should have arrived not long ago. Checking on Relomia, it appeared that his emissary had found herself as part of a minor religious debate.

---

15-Jan-2014 04:16:13

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