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History of the Kinshra - Edits
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Mod Stu
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Ah, I see this thread is back from the dead.
Ren Bo Dash, I like the writing in your new text (starting on page 9). As noted by others, the personal touch and dramatic beats make it a good read.
The main issue I have is it establishes the Kinshra were founded on Bishop Lungrim's unorthodox Zamorakianism (notably excluding the "Destruction must serve a purpose" principle). As noted earlier in the thread, this would contradict Dishonour Among Thieves if introduced, and so I need to continue to operate within established canon.
I think it makes the Kinshra more redeemable and has more opportunity for storytelling conflict if they remain founded on the core principles of Zamorakianism, but schisms exist within the order. Over time, the members of the Kinshra have had differing interpretations of those ideals. Unfortunately, the extremists get the most attention and are the most dangerous, both to the Kinshra's reputation and the public.
Also, what I needed from this thread, when first posted in February, was not a replacement/supplement text, but a bullet-point list of the text you'd like changed in The History of the Kinshra.
There's still opportunity for minor amendments to History of the Kinshra if you can muster a consensus (eg could change "dark wizards" to "red wizards" in the book text). However, the opportunity to make significant revisions to the History of the Kinshra text has now passed.
We're at a point where the History of the Kinshra has been canon for some time, and forms the foundation for upcoming content. Notably the Invasion of Falador - which we've already had to implement in order to meet our deadlines - which will build on Raddallin's backstory and the history of the Kinshra.
Could make Kitty's new text a Lore & History or something (after revision etc. of course). Certainly it's a low-dev cost way to get the whole thing in somewhere, right? Bizarre Boron Fusswell, scryer extraordinaire. OSRS: POH ideas & RS3 minigames & achievement ideas !
Ah, I see this thread is back from the dead.
Ren Bo Dash, I like the writing in your new text (starting on page 9). As noted by others, the personal touch and dramatic beats make it a good read.
The main issue I have is it establishes the Kinshra were founded on Bishop Lungrim's unorthodox Zamorakianism (notably excluding the "Destruction must serve a purpose" principle). As noted earlier in the thread, this would contradict Dishonour Among Thieves if introduced, and so I need to continue to operate within established canon.
I think it makes the Kinshra more redeemable and has more opportunity for storytelling conflict if they remain founded on the core principles of Zamorakianism, but schisms exist within the order. Over time, the members of the Kinshra have had differing interpretations of those ideals. Unfortunately, the extremists get the most attention and are the most dangerous, both to the Kinshra's reputation and the public.
Also, what I needed from this thread, when first posted in February, was not a replacement/supplement text, but a bullet-point list of the text you'd like changed in The History of the Kinshra.
There's still opportunity for minor amendments to History of the Kinshra if you can muster a consensus (eg could change "dark wizards" to "red wizards" in the book text). However, the opportunity to make significant revisions to the History of the Kinshra text has now passed.
We're at a point where the History of the Kinshra has been canon for some time, and forms the foundation for upcoming content. Notably the Invasion of Falador - which we've already had to implement in order to meet our deadlines - which will build on Raddallin's backstory and the history of the Kinshra.
Could make Kitty's new text a Lore & History or something (after revision etc. of course). Certainly it's a low-dev cost way to get the whole thing in somewhere, right? Bizarre Boron Fusswell, scryer extraordinaire. OSRS: POH ideas & RS3 minigames & achievement ideas !
Perhaps you're half right; perhaps we can't win. But we can fight.
— Zanik
08-Sep-2015 17:32:11
[cont.]
It'd be nice to show the difference between Scryant's version (who was officially hired by a Kinshra leader to write the book, so it'd obviously be biased pro-Zamorak and pro-Kinshra and stuff, albeit subtly) of the history of the order and that of a dissenting soldier. Although it'd have to be amended in certain parts of course (e.g. the new Valzin is utterly incongruous with the current Valzin, beyond credibility - I think I recall myself suggesting earlier that he fought Lungrim's followers rather than being one of them, which would be more in line with what was originally envisaged for his personality. I think - apologies if I'm getting everything wrong now; I haven't checked this thread in months and I'm too busy to really get into it now).
If that's done, we could even include some of the other ideas Kitty, Wahi, Robo and I originally had for the history of the Kinshra post-Raddallin and -Valzin, such as (spoiler tag because why not!)
Or at least some of that, I don't expect any of this to be featured soon. Or ever.
As for the current in-game text, we could obviously make that bullet-point list. Why not? From memory (again, apologies if wrong), a late adjustment to the Port Lina reference by Kitty hadn't made it in, and some stuff to clear up confusion around the word 'march'. Probably other stuff. Bizarre Boron Fusswell, scryer extraordinaire. OSRS: POH ideas & RS3 minigames & achievement ideas !
It'd be nice to show the difference between Scryant's version (who was officially hired by a Kinshra leader to write the book, so it'd obviously be biased pro-Zamorak and pro-Kinshra and stuff, albeit subtly) of the history of the order and that of a dissenting soldier. Although it'd have to be amended in certain parts of course (e.g. the new Valzin is utterly incongruous with the current Valzin, beyond credibility - I think I recall myself suggesting earlier that he fought Lungrim's followers rather than being one of them, which would be more in line with what was originally envisaged for his personality. I think - apologies if I'm getting everything wrong now; I haven't checked this thread in months and I'm too busy to really get into it now).
If that's done, we could even include some of the other ideas Kitty, Wahi, Robo and I originally had for the history of the Kinshra post-Raddallin and -Valzin, such as (spoiler tag because why not!)
The schism that formed among the Kinshra between those who wanted to disband the organisation conform Valzin's last wish and those who wished to take up his legacy and 'reconquer' Asgarnia; the second Lord of the Kinshra who united the order by taking Valzin's family's signet ring and title of nobility (hence the tradition of the Lords' signet ring and the title 'Lord of the Kinshra' itself
) and trying to lead the order into a new incarnation; the subsequent Lords of the Kinshra who gradually messed up more and more until Shadwell and Sulla happened; Ajjat's story.
) and trying to lead the order into a new incarnation; the subsequent Lords of the Kinshra who gradually messed up more and more until Shadwell and Sulla happened; Ajjat's story.
Or at least some of that, I don't expect any of this to be featured soon. Or ever.
As for the current in-game text, we could obviously make that bullet-point list. Why not? From memory (again, apologies if wrong), a late adjustment to the Port Lina reference by Kitty hadn't made it in, and some stuff to clear up confusion around the word 'march'. Probably other stuff. Bizarre Boron Fusswell, scryer extraordinaire. OSRS: POH ideas & RS3 minigames & achievement ideas !
Perhaps you're half right; perhaps we can't win. But we can fight.
— Zanik
08-Sep-2015 17:39:37
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