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The glorious Deep Legion approves of your arena for the merciless slaughter of drynoobs, provided they are given a chance to renounce themselves and swear loyalties to the true Deep Lords before they start ripping their own heads off.


We would also like to extend our welcome to you to use our own territory as a battleground.

Aka: the Ocean.

Feel free to come by any of your friendly, local damane recruiters. They will help you in donning the norkel and guide you to the Hall of Blood, where the stone chalice of M. Bison lays waiting for you to drink from and begin your conquest of your fellow drynoobs.

Most esteemed members of the Tide Born Council,

The Grand Domain bids you a most moist day! It is far too often we find ourselves unable to properly commune with these drynoob surface dwellers, and too little we share with them. Our damp scouts have reported that you of the Tide Born Council actually share many common traits with us! We are overjoyed! The Deep Lords and I have communed at length, and after much deliberation and research into if you would want to completely destroy us or not, we open our arms to you and your kin in the glorious embrace of the old ways. The surface drynoobs continue to be a problem for us all, polluting our seas and catching our fish, and yet we continue our daily battle to save each and every one of them who is willing and faithful to the old ways. The Grand Domain hopes that, in time, you will join us in this great endeavor to cleanse the surface world of its putrid smelly ways. As a token of our acceptance of your culture and ideologies, we would present you with a multitude of jewel encrusted norkels to display proudly in your formal sitting room (they would look out of place in your casual sitting room). We in the Grand Domain continue our ever faithful service to the sea and the old ways, and look forward to your continued involvement in the quest to rid the world of the hogwash, blaspheming ways of the surface drynoobs. Jejoice and praise!

To the most esteemed members of the Kinshra Order,

I, Rend Sul'damane, Herald of the Return and Deepest Lord, speak on behalf of the entire Deep Council when I express my deepest gratitude for your agent's work today. I am afraid I did not catch his name, but needless to say, he is ten out of ten. Eleven, even. His work will not go unrewarded, of course, as any good work should be. Inclosed I have included a bank note allowing your Order to draw upon the funds of the Deep Council as well as a coupon for a dozen norkels. Use them both wisely. Jejoice and praise.

The Deep Lords have consulted, and after much deliberation, have decided that these "weak rps" are in dire need to salvation. Attendants will be dispatched at haste to accompany your strange bi-two-weekly events in order to maximize the amount of drynoob souls saved from the coming Flood. The Deep Lords are hesitant to make such a bold move regarding the willie nilly dispersal of norkels to potentially unworthy drynoobs, but unfortunately the Deepests do not have the time nor resources to personally attend to all norkel donning related activities. I hope that the usage of these life saving devices will instill a sense of awe and reverence for the true lords of this realm, and, when come time for the Grand Emergence, those who have accepted the call and resworn their oaths to the Deepests will gladly fall into line (as all drynoob should). We thank you for this most wonderful opportunity to share our true ways with the drynoob youth of this air filled world (We still have no idea how you people stand it all; its everywhere!) and wish all you drynoobs a continued healthy life of ignorance and poor hydration.
May you find condensation on the outside of all your water bottles.

Blatant rip off of my ever present Norkel Donning campaign to teach these darn drynoobs a lesson. The Grand Domain will continue its mission to save/destroy/welcome/annihilate these surface fools, and no smelly "dark presence" will stop our wet ways. Not only will this "threat" be crushed by our dank, damp battle strats, I, Rend Sul'damane, will personally 360 no scope any fool who dares set foot on the property of the Grand Domain with intent to concur it. This property is the entire planet excluding Falador Bar. You can have that. We don't want it. Way too dry.

That being said, perhaps this... "evil smelly drynoob magic dark cloud" is in need of some spiritual guidance? We provide excellent services provided you are willing to swear oaths of fealty and accept the ruling of your true moist masters.


This new threat better be wearing a snorkel.

I, Rend Sul'damane, on behalf of the Council of Deep Lords, do offer our advice regarding the possibility of plunging headlong past the Fourth Wall itself (also known by you drynoobs as "the World Gate&quot and entering into untold lands: Wear a norkel at all times. The Deep Legions of the Grand Domain have passed through to other worlds many times in order to further our advances in the glorious reconquest of dry territory, and to expand to the seas of these parallel worlds. Some of our numerous journeys have left us both confused beyond all belief and thrilled at the possibilities. Here are some of of the works we have brought upon other worlds:

- Assisting a red headed fish woman in singing some dumb song. We provided her with a norkel. She was thrilled.
-Helping a sponge and starfish in acquiring "man hood". We sent an agent out to recover them, but unfortunately he took the mission into his own hands, torturing the poor fools with a drying process that was almost irreversible.
-Trying to help an unwashed pirate in donning the norkel. He refused. We sent a kraken after him.
-Attempting to provide norkels to a group of young beachgoers. They denied. We sent a shark after them. Four times.
-In an attempt to recover specimens from a coral reef, one of our agents lost his norkel. It turned up latter in the possession of a pair of fish, one of them blue, the other orange.
-Sending a large chunk of frozen ice at an ocean liner. Why? Why not. Praise the sea.
-Funding an adventurers' trip to a depth below the sea. He scorned us after that. We sent another kraken.

Get trashed.

To the most esteemed members of the Godless Faction,

Your continued difference to Swine Sign is most troubling. Our agents have watched you folk from afar for some time, and, while you show promise in regards for your capacity for salvation in the gentle embrace of the sea, you also lack two very important things: Fear of the Swine Sign and norkels. The Grand Domain, under the authority of a unanimous vote by the Deep Lords, has come to a difficult choice. We are to give you an ultimatum. Either don the norkel and be saved for all time, or we will have to destroy the Swine Sign you hold so close. The near reverence you have for the Swine Sign is troubling beyond all capacity. Are you not aware that its coming is a sign of the end of days, the death of the sun, and the drying of the sea? True, the beast was defeated at the hands of your rocky champion (or so our agents tell us, we are still skeptical), but can you truly by safe from its alluring, multidimensional powers? You would do well, members of the Godless Faction, to remember that, while gods can die, men can die faster.

They can also drown.

To the most esteemed Tommen Calderon,

The Deep Lords can consulted regarding your continued illegal fishing of our seas. While we recognize that your empire has suffered a major defeat at the hands of the rather industrious, albeit heretical, Kinshra Order, we would ask that you request our permission in the future to harvest from our oceans. As you are new to this island of stone and squid, we can understand that this will take some time to correct, but in due time we expect some sort of response. You may reach us by placing a return letter back into your right boot.