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Alzheimer's

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Averia Light

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I just got to the point where I didn't care about what other people thought. Well, I got to this point way before my grandma started declining.

Honestly, it says a lot more about them than it does about you and in 5 seconds, their mind is going to be on something else anyway. What matters more than the 5 seconds where you are judged is how you made your partner feel when he needed support. Nothing else is important in those moments. At least in my opinion.

For me, it took awhile, but I actually got to this point when I had a kid. 5 years from now, I'm not going to remember the douchebag at the store who gave me a sideways glance because my kid was being a kid. My kid and I are both going to remember how we treated each other, though. So, I am going to respond with empathy, because my daughter is more important than some random stranger. I now apply the same thought to nearly every situation by asking : in 5 years what is going to matter? And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

13-Nov-2021 12:20:55

Haukur

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Had to do something last week that truely broke my spirit and heart. We had to move my husband and life mate into an Alzheimer's assisted living center. His Doctor thought he may have had it for several years before he was diagnosed with it.

I visit him every day, have dinner with him. But dammit it is not fair. I feel broken, and robbed, as well as powerless. I am staying strong for our adopted daughters, which break down in tears. Don't ever think the reason I am peaceful is because I do not know how to be violent.
Ekki hugsa alltaf að ég sé friðsælt vegna þess að ég veit ekki hvernig á að vera ofbeldi.

07-Apr-2022 05:59:29

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Haukur said :
Had to do something last week that truely broke my spirit and heart. We had to move my husband and life mate into an Alzheimer's assisted living center. His Doctor thought he may have had it for several years before he was diagnosed with it.

I visit him every day, have dinner with him. But dammit it is not fair. I feel broken, and robbed, as well as powerless. I am staying strong for our adopted daughters, which break down in tears.

It isn't fair. These are good people who deserve a better ending. And, please know that he probably is aware of your presence. Right up until the month before my grandma passed she saw my daughter and her reaction, even without words, was undeniable. She knew my daughter was someone she loved (even if she thought my daughter was me).

Even when I played cards with her 2 weeks before her death (I just played her hand), I remember playing a skip card in Uno and saying "why you gotta be like that?" To her and she lightly slapped my hand in jest as if she never had Alzheimer's at all because she always did that.

I am sure he is in there. In the end what got me through was thinking that she was always there for me and I sure as hell was going to be there for her when she needed me. She deserved people to give a shit. And, even though I was an inconsolable mess for a month after she passed, in the end, I knew I visited her and I don't hold an ounce of guilt. Even in her dying days, there were joyful moments that I will treasure. And I knew she was still in there. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

31-May-2022 03:53:10

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