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Stoat King

Stoat King

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It has occurred to me that we are not being proactive enough with our griefing.
But then, an explicit campaign of grief may be misunderstood by the small-minded, myopic morons whose main hobbies are taking offence and attention-seeking.

Could it be that there is something that is universally greeted with joy and congratulations, but in reality, causes nothing but heartache, regret and agony?
Luckily, there is.
Marriage.

It is for this reason that I think we should start a campaign to convince Jagex to implement a full-blown marriage subsystem.

Weddings, children, ugly and cripplingly expensive divorce proceedings (with attendant custody battles), angry recriminations, pre-nups, the lot.

Guthix wills it!

01-Sep-2016 15:43:27

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Jack Flac said :
Hold on a sec. Why ar you trying to scare off the sacraficial offfering?

We didnt try. I think he was just horrified at how lazy, ugly and useless we are. Well, okay, how lazy, ugly and useless I am. However, rest assured, I slipped a radioactive tag into his drink while he was here. We can track him easily. Just so long as he doesn't take a pee in the next 48 hours. I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

02-Sep-2016 05:04:47

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Stoat King said :
It has occurred to me that we are not being proactive enough with our griefing.
But then, an explicit campaign of grief may be misunderstood by the small-minded, myopic morons whose main hobbies are taking offence and attention-seeking.

Could it be that there is something that is universally greeted with joy and congratulations, but in reality, causes nothing but heartache, regret and agony?
Luckily, there is.
Marriage.

It is for this reason that I think we should start a campaign to convince Jagex to implement a full-blown marriage subsystem.

Weddings, children, ugly and cripplingly expensive divorce proceedings (with attendant custody battles), angry recriminations, pre-nups, the lot.

Guthix wills it!

There is much potential in this.

I think we should concentrate our energies on this. After a nap and afternoon tea.

GUTHIX WILLS IT! I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

02-Sep-2016 05:08:58

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

Posts: 24,106 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'm volunteering for marriage. I totally don't want to get my hands on your house, car or endowment insurances. And I'm not remotely interested in receiving half your pension when you retire, maintenance payments until that event occurs or wielding our offspring as weapons of mass destruction.

Form an orderly queue, please.

Although I'm not sure Jagex would go for the update. They can't even fix one measly feather or re-model a small hamlet without making it look like a slum.
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

02-Sep-2016 09:25:53

Stoat King

Stoat King

Posts: 5,075 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I will admit that the idea needs work, but I can't think of an update that could cause more consternation, unless Jagex decided to implement real world religions into rs.

The children aspect is vital imo.
Real life childbirth has some downsides. We could improve on that massively.
If two or more people, regardless of gender, ) decide they want a baby goblin (or some other hideous freak) then rs doesn't have any natural obstacles to overcome.
The way I see it, these children would act as pets that offer bonuses. They would have to be tradable for obvious reasons.

Personally, I would like to get myself pregnant and then give birth to a litter of 365 bunny rabbits, one for each day of the year.

Would the arrival of a permenantly pregnant man with baby rabbits spewing out of every orifice improve rs? Yes. Yes it would.

Infidelity and divorce are two more vital areas that need fleshing out. Without the recrimination and bitterness that this must give rise to, my idea is pointless.
The unnatural baby farming aspect of it is merely the icing on the cake.

I Shall put my thinking cap on.

02-Sep-2016 09:58:50

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

Posts: 24,106 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Jagexy Monsters might possibly show some interest if they were able to set up a Divorce Court and charge fees for handling the cases. Think of the income stream! What a bonanza.

And the spin-offs: Alice is offering an extra chest this weekend with a 50% discount ticket so hurry and buy your chest packages now. Solomon has new banners in his shop declaring "Happily Divorced". The Jagex shop are selling plushies of players' mutant offspring.

Incidentally, careful with the rabbits:

Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

02-Sep-2016 11:59:32

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Stoat King said :
Would the arrival of a permenantly pregnant man with baby rabbits spewing out of every orifice improve rs? Yes. Yes it would.

FiFi LaFeles said :




Seriously, you guys...

I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

04-Sep-2016 00:27:41 - Last edited on 04-Sep-2016 00:31:09 by Corugi

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

Posts: 20,901 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
FRIENDS!!! FOES!!! OR WHATEVER YOU GUYS ARE!!!

I HAVE GREAT NEWS!!!

MY RECENT SCOUTING REPORT SHOWS ME THAT CLAN GRIEF HAS CAUSED TREMENDOUS GRIEF OVER THE LAST ATTACK ON THE JAGEXIANS!!!!!

In fact we did so much damage they have now turned to griefing pet owners of RS!!! THEY REFUSE TO LET US HOUSE MORE THAN ONE PET IN OUR HOUSE!!!

OH AND I ALSO FOUND THIS DWARF LOOKING THING!!!

*THROWS HIM TO THE GROUND WITH CHAINS ON HIM*

It's time for the sacrificial burning to appease the gods!!! In hopes we can gain favor and destroy the Jagexians!

On a sad note: I lost over a 1000 men to the Jagexians new and improved Robotic Cats and Dogs!!!!

We gotta start working on technology!!!

We are falling behind friends!!

Our metal items don't work anymore!!!

I think we need to be on the look out for an Inventor in our Ranks!! Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

06-Sep-2016 13:11:23 - Last edited on 06-Sep-2016 13:33:48 by Legionnaire

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