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Bwian's Towel and Grief Shop Thread is locked

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Kings Abbot

Kings Abbot

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Okay, I think this might work!

I unpacked all the second hand ass wipes into the elevator shaft and created a heap of more than three meters high. It comes right above the floor here, so I have an excellent view here. It should be able to break your fall if you jump down.

Of course, I understand you might be a tad scared, so as a test you can throw Corugi down first and I'll keep you informed in which shape and in how many pieces he arrives downstairs. Maybe take him and Feefs out of the towels, you could keep them to wrap yourself into for extra shock absorber on your way down if the test is succesful

I also let up a turkey I found in the broken freezer for you to feast on. It could take a while before it gets to you, the amount of balloons that fit in the shaft is limited and it barely lifted off. Kings Eastwood in
THE GLOOP , THE BWIAN , and THE WIKI
music by Trewavio Morricone
YOU-KNOW-WHO
,
GO
YOU-KNOW-WHAT
YOURSELF!

11-Aug-2021 19:29:46

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
First things first..............

I am NOT scared..

Slightly terrified a bit but defo NOT scared!

Secondly...

After almost 3 and a half days and some minutes of sitting there patiently waiting for the chicken looking thing to defrost, the wait was over and guess what!!!!

Friggin thing squarked at me. pecked at my face and said "Gobble gobble" and flew off through a chicken shaped hole in the wall that i could not fit through =(

At some point on Wednesday "might of been Thursday" i can't remember, a huge wave of hope came over me and i was almost saved because for a minute or so i found a signal on my phone and i was forced to make the decision of my life "should i phone for help???", i decided against that because i only had like 4% battery left and i had almost completed level 169 of Candy Crush!!!!!

Shortly after my battery died and guess what!!!

I am still on level 168 =(

But worry not about me cos i am fairing well and surviving "thanks to Bear Grylls", i reckon i might be able to live for maybe another 4 or 5 days because although i have eaten all my fingers, i still have toes left!!!

Much love

Scouse - After the toes i have something left that may keep me alive for months!!! =D [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

13-Aug-2021 21:55:26

Kings Abbot

Kings Abbot

Posts: 10,754 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Could you try to throw donw Corugi's body? I really want to know if getting my hands dirty on those wipes was actually worth it. And if it works, you might not need to eat your toes!

Sorry about the turkey though, I didn't know it got frozen alive. Who even does that? Oh wait, I can guess...

Some days ago, some guy with a cabbage stand put up shop a bit further down the street. Only five minutes later, some bald kid with a blue arrow on his head crashed into it from above, riding on a half-broken glider. The dude screamed out 'My cabbages!', fell to his knees, started crying for an hour, then slowly strolled off.
I took the cabbages that were still okay, and sent them up with a few more balloons. Kings Eastwood in
THE GLOOP , THE BWIAN , and THE WIKI
music by Trewavio Morricone
YOU-KNOW-WHO
,
GO
YOU-KNOW-WHAT
YOURSELF!

15-Aug-2021 21:10:55

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost so much weight i was finally able to squeeze through the gap the chicken escaped through!!

Sadly though i had to sacrifice my trainies cos only my withered feet would fit but at least i'm alive "who needs shoes with no toes anyway"

Tried and tried to drag Mr corugilander and Feefs mannequins through but they just wouldn't fit but i did manage to hold onto an auburn strand of hair for forensic purposes!!!!

I'll be back in work on monday, ready to go if that is ok?

Oh and btw, i know i should really give a month in advance before taking any holidays but just this once cos i almost died for the cause.......

Will it be possible for me to take 2 weeks off starting tuesday "basically just to laze about eating junk food so i can get back to my usual fat self?

Much love

Scouse - Hides behind lamp posts! and falls down grids! [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

20-Aug-2021 21:34:37

Kings Abbot

Kings Abbot

Posts: 10,754 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Glad to see you found another way out! I'll get a team to analyse those hairs.

I grant you your two weeks of leave, what you experienced ain't normal. The wipes will be waiting for you when you get back. Kings Eastwood in
THE GLOOP , THE BWIAN , and THE WIKI
music by Trewavio Morricone
YOU-KNOW-WHO
,
GO
YOU-KNOW-WHAT
YOURSELF!

21-Aug-2021 10:01:54

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hows this for dedication!!!!!!

Halfway through my untimely need of a holiday while laying on a sunny, sandy beach surrounded by scantily clad beach goers, some huge muscled chaps "who by the way keep kicking sand in my face for some reason", a few slightly underweight crabs missing a leg or 2, 16 specifically laid out towels with notes attached reading "NICHT TASTEN!" and a few odd flip flops, a burst beach ball and some odd looking slimy thing.

I feel like i still must take the time to make sure all is well at work?

I reckon all will be well because our new stand in leader is well capable of holding the fort until lost employees and the big boss man himself turn up!

Well with that i must return "cos the tides coming in fast" and i'm pretty sure that looks like a massive turd heading my way!!

Much love

Scouse - Tight budgie smugglers and 2 socks and i still dont feel like i should be on the cast of Baywatch! <3 [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

27-Aug-2021 21:50:02

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Not much to add this week cos i have been pretty laid up because of a severe jellyfish sting and a cut lip from the massive German chap who's carefully laid out towel i tried to snaffle "purely for the cause"

I did actually manage to get away with the theft of 9 Disney themed towels but the guilt of watching those little kids waking up devastated upon gleefully skipping down to the beach only to find no towel and their chosen spot taken by a hungover stag do participant was too much for me to take so i gave 8 of them back..

As for the 9th towel, call that a kid? even Freddie Flintoff as a child would have beat it in a cutest baby competition......

So boss, we have a stock count of "one" in the merchandise we don't sell now =)

Much love

Scouse - Did i say not much to add? [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

04-Sep-2021 01:17:01

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sorry but i seem to be slightly to drunk to post tonight but i will be 100% honest in my typing...

To whom it may concern, i regret to inform you of my terrible sickness i am going through at the moment, i have tried to
turn up for work but i just cant
, i was ok earlier but upon noticing the return of Feefs
my whole body and everything around me just melted
, oh and then i got the shits a bit, should be ok for tomorrow..........
Goodnight and take care









much love [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

11-Sep-2021 04:56:41

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