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Bwian's Towel and Grief Shop Thread is locked

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Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
My sole reason for logging in on a friday just got a second reason..

1st reason is to say hello to people i care about, some in person with typed words and a very select few with waves of "i know he said hello even when he never typed it" and they know who they are <3

2nd reason is to never let this amazing group of silly mates brought together by the great Mr Corugilander "who is now sadly missing in action" and this shop of many things we all worked in "for less than the minimum wage" may i add!!! disappear!

The store owner may be afk but that does not mean we have to shut the shop!

If anyone would like to take over the daily management until Mr Corugilander returns, feel free, i'd happily take the position but you know me, i'd just start selling towels, face cloths, arse wipers, the lot and Mr Corigilander does not deserve to return to my shop of ill repute!!!

Much love

Scouse - Shake yourself dry like a hairy wet dog! [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

16-Jul-2021 23:35:54

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
All hail our new "stand in" leader, the great, magnificent, amazing, handsome King of the Abbots.............

Drum roll pleaseee.....

Dum dum duuummmmmmm

Let all put our hands together and welcome the
MAN
who will live his life to make sure the world continues to drip dry or shake uncontrollably like a wet hairy dog after our baths and showers!!!!!

Here he is....

Guys, keep them undies on, Tom Jones once told me "in secret" that he hated women throwing their knickers at him on stage!

And without further ado here he is, get the clapping started!!!!

Its Sir Abbot, known to his close friends as King<3

Much love

Scouse - Now fully body washes once a week using baby wipes! [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

23-Jul-2021 23:12:15 - Last edited on 23-Jul-2021 23:12:53 by Scouse

Kings Abbot

Kings Abbot

Posts: 10,754 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thank you! Thank you!

I wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of you guys! Well, the one guy that's still around...

Under my fair and just rule, Bwian's Towel and Grief Shop will enter a new are of economic decline, even lower wages, and an expanded catalogue of items that are not for sale!

Our first expansion will be the arse wipes, a brilliant idea by Scouse! To cut on the costs, they will be second-hand, but since they won't be sold, that won't matter anyway.
For this, he is awarded the prize of Best Employee of the Month, which consists of a three-month old bucket of fish offal. Give the man some applause please!
More expansions will follow soon™.

Another upgrade to our store is now background music! You can now hear Steve Reich's Drumming continuously on a loop to slowly turn you mad.

That will be all!

Now get back to work! Those arse wipes aren't gonna wipe themselves clean! Kings Eastwood in
THE GLOOP , THE BWIAN , and THE WIKI
music by Trewavio Morricone
YOU-KNOW-WHO
,
GO
YOU-KNOW-WHAT
YOURSELF!

24-Jul-2021 09:06:54 - Last edited on 26-Jul-2021 21:09:15 by Kings Abbot

Scouse
Feb Member 2018

Scouse

Posts: 29,019 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Kings Abbot said :
Excellent! The first buttload of them just arrived! You can find them in our "bathroom" next to our "elevator".

I waited for this "elevator" and finally 7 hours and 47 minutes into my 8 hour shift the doors opened and i reluctantly took a step inside, the doors creaked and shut behind me and i then felt movement..... "so glad i had a spare packet of ass wipes to hand"

After many minutes of ups and downs i finally felt a strange stillness and the doors creaked open...

I found the nerve to peek outside and upon doing so i almost fainted with shock at what i was witnessing...

After 38 or maybe even 39 seconds of being frozen to the spot unable to move because of the sheer shock i had found myself in, i plucked up the massive courage needed to take the next steps i felt the need i must do for the love of all man/woman kind and ventured into a dimly lit room...

Within this room was a huge wooden table with 6 seats "4 regular and 2 huge ones at each end"

Sitting on these huge seats at either end was lifelike mannequins of Mr Corugilander and Feefs and both were covered from head to toe in towels "100's of them!" and placed right in the centre of the table was a note....

The note said this....

Ha ha ha, he he he, fools they are because towels they can't see, i am the king and this is my queen they are all using ass wipes and they are not even clean, i have used them once and washed them twice and sprayed Feefs perfume to make them smell nice, four more seats are here for some, any will do apart from Scouse cos he's scum, i know he always knew that secretly we used towels on our bum!

This all happened last friday and i'm still stuck there now cos the lift aint come back so i'm sorry i aint been in work for my shifts or let you know i won't be coming in cos the phone signal is crap down here!

Much love

Scouse - Living on earwigs, spider bodies and dust! [qfc id=]whatever[/qfc]
#JFT96
August 15th 2017, the day Jagex freed me
Liverpool is love, Liverpool is life

06-Aug-2021 21:37:48

Kings Abbot

Kings Abbot

Posts: 10,754 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Are they still alive? I haven't seen them for so long that I find it very curious that they haven't slipped out of there even once to eat.

I had a look at the elevator and found out that it's controlled from thre ground floor. There's a wire very similar to the one connected to the call button on the ground floor that goes straight up, probably to where you are now. Unfortunately, that wire got severed half a meter up, so that's why the elevator won't come up again.

I tried reconnecting the wires, but I got shocked severely by a power surge coming from above, which also fried the elevator controls to a crisp. As a result, the elevator responded with plummeting down into the basement with no way of coming up again.

Sit tight while I think of something to get you out of there. I have an idea, but I'll need to test it first, and get some more materials for the final product which might take a few days. For now, I let up some helium balloons in the elevator shaft carrying some day-old sandwiches and a bottle of water. You should see them arrive shortly. I'm going to get you out of there!

While you're up there, see what else you can find. There might be some clues about what happened in that room. Kings Eastwood in
THE GLOOP , THE BWIAN , and THE WIKI
music by Trewavio Morricone
YOU-KNOW-WHO
,
GO
YOU-KNOW-WHAT
YOURSELF!

07-Aug-2021 10:37:35

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