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FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

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Averia Light said :
This thread haha so much dark humor. I am so glad this exists and you reached out.

Didn't want to blow your covert ops cover. But now you're here, can you pay us please?
I realise this will be difficult given the amount of embezzlement 'Rugi has been engaging in but maybe we could sell some photos of him wearing nothing but his face mask and our world famous non-existent towels.

Actually, people might even offer a fee to not spam their twitter/facebook and newsfeeds with ads selling photos of him like that, especially if we attach a free sample.
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

27-Jul-2020 14:37:26

Averia Light

Averia Light

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FiFi LaFeles said :
Averia Light said :
This thread haha so much dark humor. I am so glad this exists and you reached out.

Didn't want to blow your covert ops cover. But now you're here, can you pay us please?
I realise this will be difficult given the amount of embezzlement 'Rugi has been engaging in but maybe we could sell some photos of him wearing nothing but his face mask and our world famous non-existent towels.

Actually, people might even offer a fee to not spam their twitter/facebook and newsfeeds with ads selling photos of him like that, especially if we attach a free sample.

I didn't actually change my name to hide from anyone. Another major event happened "behind-the-scenes" at about the same time as the whole off topic drama that caused the name change. The added benefit of being unknown again is just a bonus.

Anyway, back to business matters. I can see on our general ledger that there has been not a single towel sold. Actually, I can see that our body burying permanent mud spa baths have generated quite the revenue. Unfortunately, it seems as though most of them were new applicants that we couldn't let leave hire and the terms of the contract for HR was commission based on sales of new recruits. Since we have no sales and no recruits, I can see that the total of commissions we owe you equals $0. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

28-Jul-2020 00:53:30 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2020 00:54:22 by Averia Light

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Kings Abbot said :
Our humor is indeed very dark, but that's because the lights here are crap. They're incandescent bulbs from the the late 1800's for Guthix' sake!

Wow

Why haven't we sold these as antiques that can be traced directly to King George??? And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

28-Jul-2020 00:58:42

Averia Light

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Actually, there is one creeper that I do leave for so I can see why people would think I changed my name to be stealthy. And, it is because I was the target of his obsession during the ot drama and...he just puts up every red flag of crazy stalker and these forums just aren't worth it (including going offsite to continue the drama of these forums which goes beyond "haha good trolling" to yeah you are definitely a creeper.

BUT, I actually never liked my old name. I kept it because a person liked it and then that relationship dissolved, so I changed my name (also a little out of spite as the relationship ended poorly). And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

28-Jul-2020 01:12:24 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2020 01:16:51 by Averia Light

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

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Gosh, how exciting. I've never had a stalker. Probably because I'm elderly, dull and fractious but I prefer to imagine it's because I'm so delightful everyone loves me :|

I can't even count 'Rugi as a stalker because he's off the Weird Scale at all times anyway.

So anyway - I get nothing for the years of service I've put in. Breaking my back every day, sweating over holes full of rotting ... err, pools of spa mud. Ironing and folding towels that aren't there, bowing and scraping to customers that didn't actually come into the shop ......
I feel used. Used and abused.

I'm going away to cry now.
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

28-Jul-2020 14:22:13

Corugi

Corugi

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Averia Light said :
Since we have no sales and no recruits, I can see that the total of commissions we owe you equals $0.

Can't we add an internment fee, so that Fifi owes us money? Forcing our employees to pay us for working for free seems like a robust business model.

Averia, you wouldn't believe the terrible mistreatment I have suffered at the hands of these vile clannies. Insults, beatings, impalement, rat bait in my coffee. They even hung me over the shop windows after I sold the last curtain. The ingrates. After the wonderful job opportunities I offered them as ballistic missile test pilots.

FiFi LaFeles said :
Breaking my back every day, sweating over holes full of rotting ... err, pools of spa mud. Ironing and folding towels that aren't there, bowing and scraping to customers that didn't actually come into the shop .....

We all have to put in some effort. I have been hard at work stocking the shop shelves with air. I might add you guys dont make this task any easier, what with occasionally breathing. I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

28-Jul-2020 15:51:53 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2020 16:23:30 by Corugi

Corugi

Corugi

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Corugi said :
I have scattered landmines across the shop floor. Anyone posting "bump" or similar will set off a land mine. These are random explosions and may happen anywhere.
Ghazgkull said :
tacos
You were warned.

I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

28-Jul-2020 15:58:08 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2020 16:00:10 by Corugi

Corugi

Corugi

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Kings Abbot said :
Our humor is indeed very dark, but that's because the lights here are crap. They're incandescent bulbs from the the late 1800's for Guthix' sake!

Really? But I was under the impression the shop's lighting was provided by burning my earwax. At least that is what Trewavas said when I discovered him mining my head with a pick axe. I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

28-Jul-2020 16:12:08

Corugi

Corugi

Posts: 19,109 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Staff Notices.


There will be a staff meeting this week, all day, everyday. Toilet breaks are not permitted. Bring your own bag. I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

28-Jul-2020 16:30:47 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2020 16:31:26 by Corugi

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