Operator: What is your emergency?
Me: HELP! THE NUBOCALY]PSE DRAWS NIGH!
Operator: Nubocay]pse?
Me: THE WORLD WILL BE OVERRUN BY NOOBS! GET YOUR BEST EXTERMINATORS!!!
Operator: Noobs? Exterminators?
Me: A noob is a dumb freak with no knowledge, their mutated language, and persistent annoyance. Exterminators are people trained to destroy a certain thing.
Operator: Im sorry, but we are unable to destroy life. Its against the law.
Me: Stuff the law. THIS IS SERIOUS! THEYRE INVADING MY HOUSE!
Operator: Well, what are they doing?
Me: Theyre saying strange things, sounds like 'phr33 st00f pl0x'. I think theyre trying to scam me out of free stuff. I do not know what pl0x means.
Operator: Are you sure this is real life? I only hear of this in games.
Me: YES! THIS IS REAL! THEYRE BITING ME! THEY THINK THEY ARE ZOMBIES! But, as we know, zombies arent real. Noobs are very strange people. Diseased and contagious. I seem to be able to overcome thizzz0rz...crud. No. NOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! They have me pl0x! H3lp pl0x! Pleeeeaaa000x!!!!!!
Operator: Ok, i trust you. I will get the police and the ambulance on this case.
(30 minutes later)
Police: HE WAS RIGHT! People are in this persons house.
A doctor comes and picks me up and puts me into the ambulance. He is unable to pick up the fully infected. I start screaming in pain as i slowly become a noob.
(3 days later)
Me: What happened?
Doctor: You were a victim of a new disease. In games, some people are noobs. It became real. You almost became one. We managed to destroy this parasite before it consumed you.
Me: What about the noobs?
Doctor: Once you are fully infected, there is no cure. You show no symptoms until 30 seconds after being bitten.
Me: Ok.
19-Aug-2009 18:19:50
