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Funniest reasons to call 911

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Rancher

Rancher

Posts: 4,294 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
To start off with, sorry if someone else said this joke before me, it's relatively common.
Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
Man: My wife is having a heart attack! I need you to come quick!
Operator: Certainly sir. May I ask your location?
Man: 555 Eucalyptus Drive.
Operator: Would you please spell that for us?
Man: Uhh... I'm just gonna drag her over to Oak Street and you can pick her up there.

06-Aug-2009 22:14:46

Kittyreanne
Sep Member 2022

Kittyreanne

Posts: 4,957 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
M: 911?
O: Yes, this is 911, how may we serve you?
M: I'm talking into this metal thingy and I'm hearing stuff!
O: By any chance are you holding it up to your ear and hearing me?
M: Yes! Are you like pyschic
O: I have to go! The pizza came and I'm paying today!
M: Ahh!! More voices!!!

11-Aug-2009 00:49:38

Hurricaneria
Nov Member 2023

Hurricaneria

Posts: 2,589 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
That's great :D
§Hurricaneria, hates the Rich§
(¯`•._)Mëmbër×Ïñ×Wrî†êrš×Õƒ×Rûñë§cåpë(¯`•._)
(¯`•._)X¡þrõþê, †Hê Gø†hí© GÃñGš†Èr(¯`•._)
¨-...-¨ÑùmþÈr II õƒ Örgáñí£á†îøñ XIII¨-...-¨

12-Aug-2009 18:31:19

[#FA069A3T7]

[#FA069A3T7]

Posts: 886 Gold Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
well umm 911!
"what happened?"
well.. i went into the bathtub and having two dark blobs come closer and closer and then have their rubber duck eat half of their face off befor they run away into a street and get runn over by millions of c a r s turning you into a big red clot that is eaten up by a dog and you get puked out into the sewers under new york city and then you float out into the ocean emerging at antarctica and being frozen, and the when you thoaw out you get eaten by sharks, and then the sharks get killed on a beach and the big discusting clot of blood(thats you) comes out and everyone runes away and then you get ubducted by mind sucking aleins that suck up your mind and then torture you using force chock* while stabbing a lightsaber into your balls and put a miollion lighting spikes into you and throwing you outside during a gigantic thunderstorm ang got hit by a million bolts of lightning...
"uh, wouldnt you be dead sir?"
well i am dead, im a zombie!
...º•.¸....¸.•*ºø¸.........¸.•º°º•.,¸¸¸,.•ºÐÉÀÐ ƒrðñ†íérº•.,¸¸¸,.•º°º•.¸.........¸øº*•.¸....¸.•º...
.........º•.;¸¸¸,.•º....¸.•º¸.•º°º•.¸Gµ†hí× Rµléš ŠµÞrémé ¸.•º°º•.¸º•.¸....º•.,¸¸¸;.•º.........
º•.¸¸.•º...º•.,¸¸¸,.•º.....º•.,¸¸,.•º...... Ðéh ßµññy Lívéž ......º•.,¸¸,.•º.....º•.,¸¸¸,.•º...º•.¸¸.•º
¸.•ºº•.¸ ¸.•º°º•.¸†¸.•º°º•.¸†¸.• /X\y Nàmé Iš Hàlàlµjàh5 •.¸†¸.•º°º•.¸†¸.•º°º•.¸ ¸.•ºº•.¸

12-Aug-2009 18:34:56 - Last edited on 12-Aug-2009 18:35:19 by [#FA069A3T7]

Hurricaneria
Nov Member 2023

Hurricaneria

Posts: 2,589 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'm going to Washington D.C. on thursday (today for me since it's 3:20 am ) and I wont be back until the end of the weekend. So I wish you all well and have fun without me!
§Hurricaneria, hates the Rich§
(¯`•._)Mëmbër×Ïñ×Wrî†êrš×Õƒ×Rûñë§cåpë(¯`•._)
(¯`•._)X¡þrõþê, †Hê Gø†hí© GÃñGš†Èr(¯`•._)
¨-...-¨ÑùmþÈr II õƒ Örgáñí£á†îøñ XIII¨-...-¨

13-Aug-2009 08:23:03

Rant God

Rant God

Posts: 5,471 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
911: whats your emergance?
Me: My emergency? MY GOD DAMN EMERGENCY?!?!? WHAT IN THE **** IS YOUR GOD DAMN RUSH LADY??? WHO THE **** SAID I WANTED TO TELL YOU MY LIFE GOD DAMN STORY WHEN WE FIRST MEET!!! AT LEAST ASK WHAT KINDA MUSIC I LIKE FIRST!!!
911: ...?
ME: **** YOU !!!!!
911: HEY DUDE STFU! I WORK ALL DAY LISTENING TO NOOB ***** LIKE YOURSELF ACT ******* FOOLISH AND BEGGING FOR HELP CUZ SOME 103YO FOOL HAD A HEART ATTACK AND OMG DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE PEOPLE WHO KILL THERE WIVES WHEN THEY GET HOME FROM WORK TO SEE THAT THEY ARE CHEATING AND THEY GET THE KITCHEN KNIFE AND CUT THEM OPEN AND SPILL THERE GUTS ALL OVER!!!!!!
Me: wow... sorry i p'ed you off... Ima go now.... bye?
911: SUCK **** AND DIE NOOB!
Me: hey what the hell ar--- ...? hello? HELLO?!?! *beep beep beep*
Me: WHY THAT LITTLE!!!!

Nova
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The Bo
ld Can
adian

13-Aug-2009 08:29:52

Hurricaneria
Nov Member 2023

Hurricaneria

Posts: 2,589 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Well, I'm back...miss me? :D
§Hurricaneria, hates the Rich§
(¯`•._)Mëmbër×Ïñ×Wrî†êrš×Õƒ×Rûñë§cåpë(¯`•._)
(¯`•._)X¡þrõþê, †Hê Gø†hí© GÃñGš†Èr(¯`•._)
¨-...-¨ÑùmþÈr II õƒ Örgáñí£á†îøñ XIII¨-...-¨

16-Aug-2009 06:10:03

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