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Dragons of Surdaus

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xxDkreignxx

xxDkreignxx

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Cod- I'm glad you liked it. I hope you'll read the second part of the Series- Orion's Call. QFC on first page. I'm working out those problems in the rewrite.
Trump- I'm glad you like it so far =D.

19-Mar-2008 06:32:39 - Last edited on 19-Mar-2008 06:35:21 by xxDkreignxx

Joppi J

Joppi J

Posts: 9,081 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Just finished this first part, and will now set about the sequels and whatnot.
So far, it's good. It's not "great", but very few stories are, so you shouldn't feel bad for that. It's certainly an original concept, and you followed through nicely. Most stories with these kinds of concepts die early because people lack ideas.
There were plenty of grammar mistakes, mainly comma splices and incorrect colons, but I can't remember them all. It wasn't too bad, though.
The plot seemed to move quickly, and I'd think it'd be better if you made the story longer. More time building the friendship between Aaron and Skye would be good, and as it would make Skye's eventual death a lot more emotional. Aaron also kept talking about Zek, but all I remember about Zek is that he didn't like green dragons, so that confused me a bit.
Overall, you have a good and original concept here, but I think it could have been done a bit better. If you ever plan on editing this, I honestly suggest you think about making it longer.
Alrighty, off for some more reading.

22-Mar-2008 13:02:34

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