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~~Brotherly Love~~
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I said at the beginning of the discussion and I believe throughout it that ****, ********, transgender, and ********* should have all the rights that straight people have, so those are my stances.
As for the recruitment patterns adopted by religions, I have not seen with my own eyes such methods adopted, but I am not going to doubt that they exist, because I'm sure they do.
I really have nothing else to say... so, thank you, I suppose.
EDIT: To make this post more useful...
I found that I enjoyed the story itself, but if I had to rate it in comparison to The Priceless, I liked The Priceless more.
One of the things that I did like about this story was how you painted Ronny as an immature, young child, and how he progressed through the novel. I can remember how much of a pest I was to my brother, or how I would get my brother in trouble out of my own immaturity, so I can see Ronny as being a real person.
I liked how quickly he was to rat his brother out, simply because he didn't like how Edward was in all ways the ideal child, and how it tore up not only him, but the rest of the castle, once Edward was sent away to prison.
I found this reading to be well worth the time, and I thank you for allowing me to read it.
I'll have to stop by your archive thread one time when I get the chance.
As for the recruitment patterns adopted by religions, I have not seen with my own eyes such methods adopted, but I am not going to doubt that they exist, because I'm sure they do.
I really have nothing else to say... so, thank you, I suppose.
EDIT: To make this post more useful...
I found that I enjoyed the story itself, but if I had to rate it in comparison to The Priceless, I liked The Priceless more.
One of the things that I did like about this story was how you painted Ronny as an immature, young child, and how he progressed through the novel. I can remember how much of a pest I was to my brother, or how I would get my brother in trouble out of my own immaturity, so I can see Ronny as being a real person.
I liked how quickly he was to rat his brother out, simply because he didn't like how Edward was in all ways the ideal child, and how it tore up not only him, but the rest of the castle, once Edward was sent away to prison.
I found this reading to be well worth the time, and I thank you for allowing me to read it.
I'll have to stop by your archive thread one time when I get the chance.
05-Jun-2011 13:25:08 - Last edited on 05-Jun-2011 13:38:44 by [#R4EOGJ2FY]
“As for the recruitment patterns adopted by religions, I have not seen with my own eyes such methods adopted, but I am not going to doubt that they exist, because I'm sure they do.”
--You should not be so quick to believe me
. Find out for yourself!
“I found that I enjoyed the story itself, but if I had to rate it in comparison to The Priceless, I liked The Priceless more.”
--You’re the second or the third to have preferred The Priceless over this one. I guess The Priceless offered a vague and highly interpretable moral, whereas this is much more concrete, sharp and sometimes unpleasant
. Or maybe it’s just Kipplin pwns.
“One of the things that I did like about this story was how you painted Ronny as an immature, young child, and how he progressed through the novel. I can remember how much of a pest I was to my brother, or how I would get my brother in trouble out of my own immaturity, so I can see Ronny as being a real person.”
--Since I have no brother, I can’t really get one into trouble – but it sounds awfully fun, from your descriptions! I wish I had a brother on whom I can perform all manners of pranks …
“I liked how quickly he was to rat his brother out, simply because he didn't like how Edward was in all ways the ideal child, and how it tore up not only him, but the rest of the castle, once Edward was sent away to prison.”
--Yeah. I think the older Ronny though felt he needed to justify his ratting out, and so he may have exaggerated both parties, making himself more immature and selfish while Edward more perfect. But I guess the magnitude of the consequences of our actions depended on how many people it affected.
“I found this reading to be well worth the time, and I thank you for allowing me to read it.”
--Well, I thank you for tolerating the story, despite disagreeing with its contents. It’s a rare feat, being able to appreciate something that’s not in your view.
--You should not be so quick to believe me
. Find out for yourself!
“I found that I enjoyed the story itself, but if I had to rate it in comparison to The Priceless, I liked The Priceless more.”
--You’re the second or the third to have preferred The Priceless over this one. I guess The Priceless offered a vague and highly interpretable moral, whereas this is much more concrete, sharp and sometimes unpleasant
. Or maybe it’s just Kipplin pwns.
“One of the things that I did like about this story was how you painted Ronny as an immature, young child, and how he progressed through the novel. I can remember how much of a pest I was to my brother, or how I would get my brother in trouble out of my own immaturity, so I can see Ronny as being a real person.”
--Since I have no brother, I can’t really get one into trouble – but it sounds awfully fun, from your descriptions! I wish I had a brother on whom I can perform all manners of pranks …
“I liked how quickly he was to rat his brother out, simply because he didn't like how Edward was in all ways the ideal child, and how it tore up not only him, but the rest of the castle, once Edward was sent away to prison.”
--Yeah. I think the older Ronny though felt he needed to justify his ratting out, and so he may have exaggerated both parties, making himself more immature and selfish while Edward more perfect. But I guess the magnitude of the consequences of our actions depended on how many people it affected.
“I found this reading to be well worth the time, and I thank you for allowing me to read it.”
--Well, I thank you for tolerating the story, despite disagreeing with its contents. It’s a rare feat, being able to appreciate something that’s not in your view.
06-Jun-2011 10:36:28
“Sometimes Ronny sighed with sadness, knowing full well that she wouldn’t understand him anymore, like she used to.”
Comma after “anyone” should be removed. Unnecessary pause. (Seems like the theme of this story.)
“That night, she lay motionless, on the ground, and the King feared the worse.”
“Lay” should be “laid,” the comma after “motionless” shouldn’t be there, and “worse” should be “worst.”
“…Ronny couldn’t help but let the images of Edward pouring into his mind like a terrible disease.”
Pouring should be pour.
“Edward showed him the first movement of a symphony that he’d written at his age, which actually followed the rules of counterpoint and have a logical harmonic progression, as well as proper cadences.”
I see you know a thing or two about music. I like this. On a more serious note, have should be has. The subject is symphony, so the verb tense must agree with the singular subject.
“He didn't mind his little brother being so often unkind to him, or for that matter, showed no gratitude.”
Showed should be showing.
“In the past, Ronny had wanted to be a soldier when he was older, to serve his country, and his father was delighted, almost too supportive of that notion, believing it would turn Ronny finally into a man.”
Comma after “older” doesn’t need to be there. I don’t see the point in the pause at least. And in the last part of the sentence, it should look like this:
“…believing it would finally turn Ronny into a man.”
“In his mind, life would’ve been easier were Edward not there at all.”
Replace were with if and add was in front of not. Sounds better.
“…preparations preceded their arrival kept all staff in a foul mood.”
Preceded should be in the -ing tense here.
“The enormity of the task… …wiped the smile from their faces.”
Smile seems a little different from the other words. Smile should be plural.
Comma after “anyone” should be removed. Unnecessary pause. (Seems like the theme of this story.)
“That night, she lay motionless, on the ground, and the King feared the worse.”
“Lay” should be “laid,” the comma after “motionless” shouldn’t be there, and “worse” should be “worst.”
“…Ronny couldn’t help but let the images of Edward pouring into his mind like a terrible disease.”
Pouring should be pour.
“Edward showed him the first movement of a symphony that he’d written at his age, which actually followed the rules of counterpoint and have a logical harmonic progression, as well as proper cadences.”
I see you know a thing or two about music. I like this. On a more serious note, have should be has. The subject is symphony, so the verb tense must agree with the singular subject.
“He didn't mind his little brother being so often unkind to him, or for that matter, showed no gratitude.”
Showed should be showing.
“In the past, Ronny had wanted to be a soldier when he was older, to serve his country, and his father was delighted, almost too supportive of that notion, believing it would turn Ronny finally into a man.”
Comma after “older” doesn’t need to be there. I don’t see the point in the pause at least. And in the last part of the sentence, it should look like this:
“…believing it would finally turn Ronny into a man.”
“In his mind, life would’ve been easier were Edward not there at all.”
Replace were with if and add was in front of not. Sounds better.
“…preparations preceded their arrival kept all staff in a foul mood.”
Preceded should be in the -ing tense here.
“The enormity of the task… …wiped the smile from their faces.”
Smile seems a little different from the other words. Smile should be plural.
10-Jun-2011 22:16:53 - Last edited on 10-Jun-2011 22:20:45 by Venmi
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