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Part 1
Pinchatoshi: Stick close to Pinchatoshi. Pinchatoshi shows you all the shortcuts that he found. *starts running really fast*
Schmitty: Don't you get to far ahead of us!
Albert: How do we know that he is not leading us to a secluded area just so he can pinch us?
Schmitty: That would be just like a hermit crab, wouldn't it? I suppose we wait and find out.
Deejay:*looks in the distance* Guys?? We've got trouble! *points to a small team of elite White knights commanded by Scottie
*at Scottie's location*
Scottie: Der... Ok, boys! Sir Juntar has tasked us with kissing Schmitty
White Knight 1: Why did he have you command us?! D:
White knight 2: We're doomed!! *starts writing his last will and testament to his wife*
White knight 3: Yeah! let's kick some leprechaun ass!!*starts punching the rocks*
Female White knight: *Steps in muggy swamp water*It's so wet and damp in here!
White knight 3: That's what she said!
Female white knight: *Punches White Knight 3 in the face and breaks his jaw*
White knight 2: Kiss Schmitty, Scottie??
Scottie: Oopse I meant "kill Schmitty" Ok we wait for the archers to take positions
*Scottie's archers arrive in their spots-
Archer 1: Woah... Slippery... *trips over his shoe lace and falls off a tree branch and falls 7 feet to his death*
*Back at Scottie's position*
White knight 1: See, Scottie, I told you that tying a shoe is extremely important to military discipline, Particularly when you are an ACROBATIC ARCHER but do you listen? Noooo!
*Back at the Archers*
Archer 2 snaps a tree branch and falls. luckily for him the "tree" is an ent
ent: OW DID YOU JUST SNAP MY BRANCH!? You crazy dickweed *throws the archer into a boulder, spraying a glorious amount of blood!
Back at Scottie's position*
White knight 1: And you don't even bother trying to find out which branches are sturdier?
Archer 3: *disturbs a nest of Hungers*
Hunger queen: *Shrieks a terrible sound that shatters the Archer's weapon and armor* *eats him* Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

02-Aug-2014 03:39:09

*flies away*
*back at scottie's lacation
Scottie: What the heck was that?!
The other 700 Hungers fly out and start eating the white knights
Scottie: Ha! you wont get me *teleports back to Falidor*
Other white knights: He didn't even bother getting us teleportation spells? What a jerk! *hungers eat the all of Scottie's knights*
*hungers fly away*
Schmitty: *comes out of a hollowed out log* That was the worst assassination attempt ever.
Deejay: That would be Scottie's work. He can't do anything right. How he even became a commander is beyond me!
Schmitty: tell me about him.
Deejay: Scottie was once a decorated soldier, and a brilliant tactician. served nearly forty years as a general.
Schmitty: so how does he become this moronic?
Deejay: a few years back, Scottie took on a small force of black knights, by himself. most of them were nothing special and Scottie took them out easily. However, there was one- who appeared out of nowhere, that was much stronger than the ones that Scottie had slew. Scottie in his arrogance thought this encounter would be easy and struck first. His weapon did nothing. He tried stabbing, then slashing. He tried hacking, and smashing. He tried magic and archery. Nothing worked. Scottie spent hours attacking the "invincible" knight. The knight took out his war hammer, and clobbered poor Scottie over the skull so hard, that his brain was effectively rendered useless for thinking beyond the daily necessities.
Sir Amik Varze, rather than dismiss Scottie as general, let him stay, however, in his cruelty, Amik demoted him all the way back down to Private rank, and assigned him to his Son, Juntar Varze's command.
Schmitty: And the black knight?
Deejay: No one saw him again, Carved his way through an entire legion of white knights and disappeared somewhere between Ardougne and Brimhaven
S**mitty: how many did the Knight kill?
Deejay: 500 white knights died by his hand in one day alone
S**mitty: sounds too good to be true Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

02-Aug-2014 03:45:07 - Last edited on 02-Aug-2014 04:14:20 by Pink 4 Twink

Deejay: Oh don't worry, we'll probably meet Him some time in the future, these guys always pop up somewhere...
Pinchatoshi: *peeks outside his shell to see if the Hungers are gone!
Pinchatoshi: duegh heh.. me hate those things! come lets get going before the Hungers come back
end of Part 1 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

02-Aug-2014 04:18:16

04-Aug-2014 05:18:00

bump Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

19-Aug-2014 02:05:01

perhaps, but I modeled him after the Black Knight in Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
Anyway, here comes part... hold on a sec....2 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

25-Aug-2014 00:38:46

Part 2
*at white knight castle in Falidor*
Amik: YOU FAILED IN KILLING SCHMITTY?????!!!
Scottie: Der Scottie sorry boss... Our brigade was eaten by Hungers * goes cross eyed
Amik: Scottie, you just doomed us all then, those insects will hunt their prey relentlessly. I give you ONE order. ONE!!! And all of a sudden I doom the entire order, because of YOUR stupidity You need to- Scottie tunes out of Amik's berating him and instead watches the clouds*
Amik: HEY! FOOL! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT
Scottie: Der... how I wish I could be amongst the clouds...
Amik: I tried helping you get over your GUTHIX DAMNED HEAD INJURY!!! AND YOU IGNORE ME WHILST I SPEAK?! Here's what I think about this- you're expelled from the Order
Scottie: please, boss I ask for one more chance...
Amik: that's Juntar's decision, not mine, you were assigned to him not me. Hey Juntar, Should we give Scottie another chance?
Juntar: no.
Amik: so there you have it, you've been expelled, good day, arrivederci, audios, toodle-loo, Get out of my face, * five white knights take Scottie to a giant cannon, tie his hands to his feet, loads him into the cannon, and fires the Scottie cannon ball out towards the Forest of Doom
Scottie: * in mid-air* Daaamn yooou, Juntaar!!!!!!! *hits a tree* *survives* lands right next to Schmitty*
Schmitty: Well look what we have here.... * kicks Scottie in the shin*
Deejay: Scottie? Holy damn, what happened to your armor?
Scottie: they stripped poor Scottie of his armor, expelled me from the order and launched me out of a cannon!
Deejay: hmmm. Schmitty, I see an opportunity here.
Schmitty: Let's here it.
Deejay: We take Scottie along with us, despite, his stupidity, he was well liked by his subordinates, we'll end up attracting many of his former soldiers along the way.
Schmitty: let's do it!
Deejay: ok * undoes Schmitty's pants*
Schmitty: What are you doing?
Deejay: what? I thought you meant you wanted me to give you head.
Schmitty: That's not what I meant!!!
end of part 2 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

25-Aug-2014 01:16:17 - Last edited on 29-Aug-2014 16:41:26 by Pink 4 Twink

Posting A new story today: Say hello to Chad the Dickromancer Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

30-Aug-2014 01:52:36

30-Aug-2014 02:45:31

*WE INTERUPT DIS CHAPTER FO A BRIEF NEWS FLASH*
Billy: I like this segment, right here, It be called 'Redecks Making a Difference'!
Becca: How can idiotic, uncivilized **** stains like you make ANY kind of difference in the world?
Billy: Oh PLENTY of ways! Like driving your carriage drunk only when there is NO Traffic
JD: speaking of beer, dat's what dis stery's about!
Billy: yerp, A little boy went into surgery last week at Runescapelandiaville Hospital. poor child was having heart issues, so they put him into heart surgery.
JD: Did they save him?
Billy: Sure did! he died the next day. it didn't the kid very good cuz the heart were fulls of beeeeeer. *burps because of how drunk he is*
JD: BEEEEEEEEER.......
Billy: BEEEEEEER!!!!!
Billy: HERKA DERKY JERRRRRR!!!
Becca: IF ANYTHING NO DIFFERENCE WAS MADE AT ALL!
Billy: Oh, I just made this story up. Quite da catcher eh?
Becca: YOU can't make up news stories!! * stomps out of the tower* I QUIT!!!
Billy: Don't worry she'll be back, In other news Dere are reports of Sentient tornaders out there in the Wilderness. Redneck News has just received images of tornados attacking Runescape players left and right *picture shown is a hand drawn tornado holding a shotgun in its hand* *caption says "Completely authentic"*
Billy: If you are in the area ( which we will not provide because we don't have enough money to include location) Then Stay in your trailers, do not attempt to fight a tornader, they absorb bullets and arrows like clothing absorbs detergent! instead use your protect from tornado prayers, summon steel titans to hold your trailers to the ground AND PRAY TO SARADOMIN THAT YOU ARE NOT KILLED! Back to you, JD
JD: This news report was brought to you by Star****s. Star****s, it will **** your stars, and, The Mosquito breeders of Runescape. The Mosquito breeders of Runscape, Spreading West Nile Virus, one country at a time. Dat's all my friends. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

31-Aug-2014 17:47:08 - Last edited on 07-Sep-2014 04:01:52 by Pink 4 Twink