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Part 2: Preparing for a Long Quest- Like Thingymabobbajiggertonburgerlathon


***mitty: *Lays out his sword*
Patrick: I see you've been preparing...
Schmitty: And I see you are still recovering from being kicked in the nuts.. yay, you!

Patrick: You've kicked me in the nuts so many times over the past 3000 years, that
I've gone sterile...
Schmitty: *Gets out a violin*
Patrick: what's the violin for?
Schmitty: Well.... Since you are SUCH a whiny little twaut, I feel like playing a sad song for you as you tell the RS Story Forums such a horrible story...
Patrick: Gods you are mean.. Anyway, How'd you get this sword? And all this food?And all this money? And these awesome ranger's outfit?
Schmitty: Oh it its amazing how stupid R.S. noobs are. They will believe just about
every scam you can think of...
Patrick: That still does not answer my question...
Schmitty: I raided the Tool Shed Leprechaun Service weapon's armory after I killed my boss.
Patrick: Oh, Guthix, the guards are going to miss their weapons hehe
Schmitty: Don't worry about that, I have complete replica sets of everything I stole
*At the Armory*
Guards: HEY WHERE'S OUR ARMOR AND WEAPONS? *The "replicas" are rubber children's toys that look nothing like the weapons Schmitty stole*
*back to Schmitty*
Schmitty: We have nothing to worry about. I just need a very long vacation.
Patrick: Sooner or later we all need to return to reality...
Schmitty: That is not for me to worry about yet.
Patrick: *sigh* since you are insisting on this course of action, I have no choice but
to come with you.
Schmitty: Yes you do; and besides, the choice has been taken out of your hands!
Patrick: what do you mean?
Schmitty: look out the window.
*Patrick sees wave after wave of white knights*
*Grid appears on the Zanaris map*
Patrick:* Tries running away but he magically is unable to move past the 6th step to the right*
Patrick: Oh my Guthix this grid is annoying!
end of part 2 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

26-Oct-2013 05:27:36 - Last edited on 26-Oct-2013 23:42:49 by Pink 4 Twink

29-Oct-2013 03:24:43

Yes a grid... the Leprechauns would be wiped off the face of RS without one, oh and it also takes turns, its like a bloody version of chess Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

29-Oct-2013 23:28:41

06-Nov-2013 03:02:53

Somewhere in Runescape

Billy Dean: *speaks like a Alabaman redneck* Wheall wheal lerk wut we heve here, zammy Ah jerst foond serm peple to merdur
Zammy: Leyets kill them scum and take dere weapons an' shiiyet
*Billy Dean throws dynamite at the people* *kills 15 children*
Billy Dean: YEEEEEEEHAW! Did y' see thayat, Zam-mo-rake, Ah jerst killed 15 children!
Zammy: Ayand naow, deir payreants jerst shewed urp.
Billy Dean: Die you Black skin lovering pieces of shiyet *throws 18 sticks of dynamite*
*blows up the parents and the two redneck murderers loot the weapons*
Billy And Zamorak: YEEEEEEHAW!
Billy: HARHARHARHAR! Ah hayavent hayad dat merch fun in nearly 20 years, Zammy!
Zamorak: ert's a gerd lof we lead! Actualler, ahm Surprised dat da Gerd let me escape while I assumed the name Zamorak.
the Real Zamorak: Yeah And you two are really makin me mad, You two are unpredictable! Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you two right now!
Billy Dean: Weyre sorry Zammy, We wish Only to serve in spreading chaos ernd discerd throughayout the layand!
The Real Zamorak: *sigh* fine , I'll let you two live, IF you two can help me with a
simple task: Kill Schmitty the Toolshed Leprechaun before the White Knights do.
The Fake Zamorak And Billy Dean: Yeyeas Sir! Weyre Right on It- *gets tapped on the shoulder by a troll*
Billy Dean: yes?
Troll: Hi, Can I crush you and eat your limbs?
Billy Dean: no but der ers a berg of meat up dat hill.
Troll: Ok thank you! *goes up the hill and eats the bag of "meat"
*The "Meat" is more Fireworks* *Blows up
Troll's ghost: Oh Dammit: This sucks, Troll code of Conduct requires that I ask before I crush and eat someone. When I respawn in about 30 seconds, I'm going feral
Billy and the Fake Zamorak are teleported to Lumbridge
Billy and The Fake Zammy: YEEEHAW!
end of part 2 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

10-Nov-2013 21:42:42 - Last edited on 10-Nov-2013 21:44:32 by Pink 4 Twink

Meanwhile at the battlefield outside Schmitty's home

White knight general: Schmitty: lay down your weapons and surrender.
Schmitty: NO!
Narrator: Schmitty throws a butcher knife into the generals face mask, killing him.
Schmitty: Hey, I like this Narrator!
Narrator: HEY DON'T SAY ANYTHING NOT IN YOUR LINES!!
Schmitty: Or what
Narrator: We need to talk *teleports Schmitty to the land of Narratorlandia*
Narrator: See this guide, Schmitty?
Schmitty: yeah?
Narrator: it contains three basic rules: 1: Don't EVER forget your lines
2: never interrupt the Narrator. 3: NEVER eat soggy waffles.
*Teleports Schmitty back into the battlefield*
Patrick: Hey Schmitty: I Figured out the grid system!
*Walks to the fifth space*
*White knight goes up to Patrick and challenges him to a fight*
White Knight: Prepare to die!
Patrick: Are you sure you want to fight me? There is a black knight behind you.
White knight: What the...? GRRR... I will be back. *goes to fight the black knight
but the black knight kills him quickly*
White knight Vice General: These soggy waffles are delicious!
Narrator: RULE # 3!!!!!! *a volcano explodes from underneath the Vice General's feet*
*Vice General burns to death*
White knights: No! we are leaderless! *they all drop their weapons*
Schmitty: Ok what should I do with you people?
White Knight: Oh please don't kick me in the shin or steal all my farming equipment*
**. Schmitty!
Schmitty: hmmmmmm....
end of part 3 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

04-Dec-2013 02:59:57

08-Dec-2013 05:12:01

Part 3

Schmitty: I know what I can do!
White knights: *Gulp*
Patrick: what?
Schmitty: You guys are going to join my army. If any of you oppose, I will take a huge sloppy **** in your next meal!
White knights: Ok, Ok don't hurt us!
Schmitty: That's what I thought...
White knight: um... My name is Sir William Shankspear, esquire
White knight: I am Patsy. I can deliver stuff. Even contraband! :3
White knight: Hi I'm Sir Frank N. Stein I'm the black guy who gets sacrificed in case things go wrong.
White knight: I am Sir Albert Fish, and Well I um fish I also slit peoples throats with fishing hooks :3
White Knight: Private Dj RJ Aj Backslash Fourth V! Sir
White knight: *Speaks in Morse code*
William Shankspere: That's Johnny, he only speaks in Morse code, he writes in Morse code, he thinks in Morse code, his heart beat is Morse code.
Schmitty: and you, would you tell us your name
White knight: Nah...
Schmitty: Please...
White knight: my name is actually Nah.
Patrick: Ok so what are we doing?
Schmitty: we are going to go to war with the Tool Shed Leprechaun Service.
Patrick: ohhh...
Meanwhile....
Sir Juntar Varze: Oh dammit we failed
Scottie: We Succedded *goes cross-eyed*
Juntar: No! I said WE FAILED!
Scottie: Yay we *Juntar strikes Scottie on the head with a hammer*
Scottie: Oh Thanks boss! I'M BACK!!!!
Juntar: Oh my guthix it actually worked
Scottie: MUAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA *gets crushed by a falling anvil*
Scottie: Der, Hey boss the sky is blue. did you know that?
Juntar: *screams as loud as he can*
Robin: Cheep cheep... Shut the tweet up!!
Juntar: make me!
Robin: I was hoping you would say that. *Starts chasing Juntar around with a chainsaw*
Juntar: Oh damn don't kill me!!!!
End of part 3
Schmitty: oh... Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

09-Dec-2013 01:52:51 - Last edited on 10-Dec-2013 23:43:45 by Pink 4 Twink

10-Dec-2013 19:57:15

Christmas special:

Schmitty: Hey Patrick, I have an idea on how to get rich.
Patrick: OOOH do tell!
Schmitty: we write a Christmas carol..
Patrick: there are millions of Christmas carols...
Schmitty: not like the one I have in mind. I have something so raunchy, so vile, that people will pay us money for the laughs!
William Shankspear: What's this about a Christmas Carol I hear?
Schmitty: nothing tangible yet, I need someone to-
William Shankspear: Write it... Fear not For I am the greatest writer in the history of um stuff...
7 hours later
William: Here, Schmitty. I have it done
S**mitty: *Reads it*
Lyrics: Frosty the Pervert
In a trenchcoat he did go
to the school yard to expose his **** and balls made out of snow
Frosty the pervert
all the kids he liked to watch
his **** did grow when he packed snow on his cold and icy crotch.
There must have been some magic when he stroked his frozen meat.
cause Frosty started moaning loud and it began to sleet.
Frosty the ******* was as glad as he could get.
He put his golden pot pipe down and lit a cigarette
*Bridge*
Frosty the Perver*
didn't want to go to jail
he began to run while dripping *** and the cops picked up his trail.
down to the village
his **** melting in his hands
running here and there all around the square yelling "catch me if you can."
They chased him down the streets of town right to a vice squad cop
who shoved a nightstick up his ass
and frosty screamed " don't stop"
Frosty the Perver*
was locked up that very day
but he did not cry as he waved good by knowing he'd be back some day.
Running to the square giving cops demands
look at Frosty go.
rubbing his hands all over his glands
his *** is white as snow.
Schmitty: This is perfect. Such a god way to ruin a classic Christmas carol.
Now all we need to do is find someone to publish it.
Patrick: I know who can. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

12-Dec-2013 00:14:00 - Last edited on 29-May-2014 23:20:03 by Pink 4 Twink