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Schmitty: Who?
Patrick: Me. *Schmitty looks at Patrick*
Schmitty: how did you get the money to do such a thing?
Patrick: well unlike you, I've been doing stuff for the past 2000 years that did not require me to strong-arm people.
Schmitty: ooooooh.
Patrick: and I must say it is horrible and I will not publish it, for I have a heart *Patrick gives a super long speech lasting 7 weeks*
Patrick: *eats a goat leg* And it is for this reason that I disagree with the publishing of this garbage.
Schmitty and the other white knights: zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Patrick: ohh gods damn you people.
Schmitty: Are you done?
Patrick: yes.
Schmitty: All those in favor of publishing this say "Aye"
Schmitty: Aye.
William Shankspere: aye. I wrote the damn thing * winks at Patrick*
Sir Albert Fish: Aye. I support the ruining of a classic song
Dj Rj Aj backlash fourth the V: I support it
Patsy: Aye. it's just so beautiful.
Johnny: *speaks in Morse code*
William: He says he supports it.
Schmitty: You hear that Patrick! Majority vote always wins
Patrick: this is absolute lunacy have you been paying attention to what I've just said?
Schmitty: we fell asleep the second you started speaking.
Patrick: This is not over Schmitty!! *publishes the Christmas Carol*
Narrator: and so it was that the new Christmas Carol caught the attention off the world making the new song the Christmas carol of choice...
end of the Christmas special. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

12-Dec-2013 00:32:07

14-Dec-2013 04:59:48

Alternative ending of the Christmas special

*All the dialogue before "This isn't over, Schmitty!" is the same

Narrator: And so the horrible and disgusting Christmas carol became the Christmas carol of choice......... UNTIL Schmitty got sued for copyright infringement and lost 60 trillion gold pieces in Runescape civil court. It is rumored that Schmitty cried his balls off and fell into a deep depression, all the while going emo and slicing his wrists, while thinking of new ways to scam people. Schmitty was seen one week after losing all the money he earned for writing the Christmas carol doing meth and attempting to milk a chocolate chip waffle, drinking vodka, listening to death metal and whispering insane babble about his growing meth trade. Schmitty was then arrested by a guard and thrown into jail for soliciting drugs. gaining him the nickname "Schmitty the Drunken Dimwit"






possible end for the Christmas special Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

17-Dec-2013 01:13:57 - Last edited on 18-Dec-2013 22:42:18 by Pink 4 Twink

17-Dec-2013 22:06:53

Chapter 3
An Unexpected Journey
S**mitty: Oh it is a wonderful day, ain't it, Patrick?
Patrick: Schmitty, why not return to Zanaris, you can still be treated with dignity.
Schmitty: Patrick, the reason why I will not return is because I took this beautiful gem from the boss man. I'm returning it to a client
Patrick: and your anger?
Schmitty: I'll get it treated eventually.
???: Did someone say they needed treatment?
Schmitty: maybe. who are_ *gets interrupted by the man*
???: Dr. Pedigree at your service I have a hospital just over there *points to the Forest of Doom*
Schmitty: You built the hospital in the Forest of Doom...?
Dr. Pedigree: yeah, some hermit crab hired me to research ways to cure zombie hermit crabs of their afflictions.
Schmitty: what is his name?
Dr. Pedigree: Pincho, I think, or was it Pinchy? maybe it was Pinchanetto. I can't remember.. *gets pinched by a hermit crab*
hermit crab: it's Pincho
Dr. Pedigree: thank you, anyway, my research is very delicate. countless notes have been assembled to document each case.
Schmitty: *gives a smile*
Patrick: excuse us for a sec
Dr. Pedigree: as you wish. *walks away*
Patrick: what's going on? you look like you have an idea. Whatever it is, it must be bad.
Schmity: academics are always looking for things to research, let's steal his notes.
William: an excellent idea!

Patrick: William, do you always take Schmitty's side?
William: *whispers* What choice do I have? He's a far better fighter than his dossier indicated. He'll kill me, or worse, he'll cut my balls off with garden shears- the rusted dull ones.
Patrick: we all have a choice..
William: yes and it is my choice to end this conversation.
Johnny: *speaks in morse code*
Albert Fish: He says that he feels sorry that you have to deal with a selfish, narcissistic, sociopathic brother
Patrick: he can change, I just know it.
Albert: we don't think so. Once a cheat always a cheat, remember that
Patrick:... Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

07-Feb-2014 00:29:05 - Last edited on 07-Feb-2014 00:32:25 by Pink 4 Twink

AAAHAHAHA I get it, "selfish" since Albert Fish said it! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

29-Mar-2014 02:33:52

*5 hours later*

Schmitty: shhh.... be very, very quiet!
Patsy: *yells really loud * OK!!
Schmitty: *sigh* dammit...
Guard hermit crab: me hears something... *goes to investigate what he heard*
Schmitty: Oh balls he's coming this way!
Guard hermit crab: Come out , come out wherever you is! me no harm you, me just going to pinch you. *catches Schmitty's scent* hmmm *goes toward the bushes*
*Patsy throws a shell which catches the hermit crab's attention and he goes off to investigate it*
Guard hermit crab: OH MY GUTHIX A SHELL!!!!
Schmitty: thanks for the save, Patsy.
Patsy: oh don't mention it, though I must say, hermit crabs make absolute terrible guards.
Schmitty: yeah... they do..
*Schmitty sabotages the alarm bells with his garden shears*
Albert Fish: this is the most idiotic and shellfish plan I have ever heard of, no way is it going to work.
Schmitty: oh you're a glass half empty kind of man aren't ye
William: Oh don't worry about him, he's always cynical, always has been since his girlfriend left him. poor sod never forgave himself.
Albert Fish: Aye... and she always made the room smell like fish
*Patrick picks the lock of Doctor Pedigree's front door*
Schmitty: didn't you know that a thief never uses the front door?
Patrick: Didn't you know that I'm no thief?
Schmitty: fool!. you'll ruin everything
*Doctor Pedigree comes out looking for what ever woke him up*
Dr Pedigree: hello? who's there
S**mitty: *gestures all everyone to shut up*
Doctor Pedigree: *goes outside*
*Schmitty and gang run into the shadows*
Doctor Pedigree: must have been the wind...Although... I smell methane and pee.. someone is here I just know-
Doctor Pedigree's wife: Honey the ice has melted and my headache has returned.
Doctor Pedigree: *sigh* coming! *talks at nothing in particular* we'll see who wins this game of cat and mouse... we'll see... *closes door*
Schmitty: Holy hell that was close... Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

29-May-2014 22:05:18 - Last edited on 29-May-2014 22:52:17 by Pink 4 Twink

Character bio's continued:
William Shankspear: Besides the fact that he is a soldier, he is a brilliant writer. He was conscripted into the white knights two years prior to Schmitty's rampage across runescape. And ardently believes that helping Schmitty will give William a chance to kill or capture Schmitty. He likes Patrick, because Patrick is the more sensible of the leprechauns.

Albert Fish: Albert Fish, believe it or not was a real life person. In real life he was a serial killer and cannibal who forced himself on children in the early 20th century. In this story however, he is more peaceful. He loves fishing, and will look for any excuse to go fishing, he believes that Schmitty is not worth the time to try and kill, but he tags along for the moment.

Frank *. Stein: The name is obviously a pseudonym but for whom is anyone's guess.
Frank is black and given the time in RS history, he should have been born into slavery. Frank however is the son of a free man, he voluntarily joined the white knights but was placed with the misfits squad: the squad that had the worst soldiers in it. That included William Shankspear and Albert Fish. He actually likes Schmitty's bad boy persona and considers Schmitty a friend, even though, he is really Schmitty's prisoner.

Nah: She is a medic, and is very shy. She has no opinion of Schmitty, but absolutely has a major crush on both Schmitty and Patrick*

** RJ AJ Backslash 4th IV: his ridiculous name is the only thing that saves his life
Schmitty liked it so much that Schmitty decided to have him join as cannon fodder in his army: he hates Schmitty for this and is looking for an excuse to kill Schmity.

Johnny: He suffers from a distorted voicebox and as such can only communicate via morse code. Everyone understands him. He dosent like Schmitty, but He thinks the key to capturing Schmitty is to turn Patrick against him.

Patsy: He is a Scottish courier that delivers anything for a fee. He also carries the link to WK command Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

29-May-2014 23:46:25 - Last edited on 29-May-2014 23:53:09 by Pink 4 Twink

He's right, James, We don't think like that. We think like this: "The man I spend time with is someone that I love, and I would do anything to be with him. If he wants kids, that's fine, we'll adopt, or hire a surrogate mother to carry our child. And we shall love that child and raise him/her, to the best of our abilities, to love, live, and if he's straight, we won't force him to like guys. We'll let him be him or her be her.

Key word being "We", James. I myself am ***. Btw, I did not take offence to your comment, I think nothing of it. But I feel forced to respond to it now, so that I do not look like a bigot/ hypocrite.

Sorry to have suddenly thrusted you into this situation, though, James. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

29-May-2014 23:48:46 - Last edited on 30-May-2014 02:40:40 by Pink 4 Twink