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Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

Posts: 11,421 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Famous last words, but I do think I'll get to it tonight, Admirable.

EDIT: And so I did.

Admirable, I do commend you for your wish to improve and for a higher rank, but I am afraid that while your story is better, and the plot more developed (and not, incidentally, at all bad), but there are still too many errors in grammar for me to be able to increase your rank. You have especial problems with dialogue, centred around an apparent lack of understanding of how to format quotation marks and the writing around them.

Once you look into these errors, which are unfortunately endemic, you may be able to re-apply and advance, but you need to seriously proofread and correct a lot of issues in your writing before I will feel confident enough in your abilities to give you the rank that, with appropriate effort, should be yours. I do hope to see you make those improvements, and would happy to help with more specific issues if you feel that such help is required.

15-Jul-2011 08:51:15 - Last edited on 15-Jul-2011 10:05:34 by Poller5

MrDuelist

MrDuelist

Posts: 1,258 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ah dangit. Yeah it's always the grammar. Not how I use words (Because if it is, that is intentional) but yeah, punctuation. I seriously don't know what I'm doing wrong, although I know that it is wrong somehow, that I am sure of.

Thank you for taking the time to review it again, Poller, I really appreciate it.

16-Jul-2011 23:10:17

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

Posts: 11,421 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Oh, it's no trouble, and like I said, it's good to see that you care enough to try and fix it and come back; that's one of the first re-applications I've had to handle. Most people take what they're given and forget about it.

Your biggest bugbear, grammatically, is dialogue. If you end a quotation in midsentence, use a comma, not a period; if you end a quotation with a comma, don't capitalize the next word after it; and always make sure you leave a space after the final piece of punctuation before the quotation starts. What's odd is that it's not like you even follow your own rules consistently: you seem to have decided to make a completely separate error every time you do it. Once you get the grasp of it, it really shouldn't be a difficult thing to fix up.

17-Jul-2011 02:38:59

MrDuelist

MrDuelist

Posts: 1,258 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Oh, see yeah I regard that stuff as such a small matter, now it's come back to get me. Thing is I probably regarded it as a small matter because I didn't know how to do it? Oh well, I will see what I can do about that, but that might take awhile, if your up for another re-application.

17-Jul-2011 03:10:03

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

Posts: 11,421 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The problem with poor grammar is that it destroys the flow of a story -- no matter how good the plot is, if the grammar keeps taking the reader out of it, it simply won't work. Think the actual filming of a film: if a great film has awful camera work that jumps over the place, no matter how good the story is, the effect is lost because the audience can't follow it properly.

Once you've fixed it, though, by all means re-apply. This place would be no fun if people weren't always working to improve. :)

17-Jul-2011 03:15:50

MrDuelist

MrDuelist

Posts: 1,258 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Yeah, true true. I guess since I didn't know what was wrong with it, I didn't think that it was bad, I didn't think the flow was interupted. I guess it's kinda like thinking that a bow and arrow is the best hunting weapon, not knowing that you can use a crossbow. It doesn't bother you.

Thing is, this place is full of crossbow hunters that know that a bow won't cut this type of deer hunting. I better review my stories for those mistakes A.S.A.P., in that case!

I really appreciate you giving me feedback, man, it is very helpful. I'll try to re-apply, but again it might take awhile.

17-Jul-2011 03:40:59 - Last edited on 17-Jul-2011 03:42:15 by MrDuelist

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