forums.rs

Forums

RuneScape Anime

Quick find code: 49-50-76-65526168

of 101
Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
- Episode 16: Simp vs. Touhou -


~ September 5, 2020 ~

4:00 PM

Wise Old Man: We have big news to report. Two of the presidential debates have been cancelled. This means that the only presidential debate will be on October 3. The vice-presidential debate is still set.

King Roald: Let's also look at the online poll numbers. The generic ballot poll asks voters which party would they choose for House and Senate seats.

Anime Multiverse Polls (June to August) - Sample: 16,998,256 registered voters

President

Sanae +10
Sanae - 51%

Homer - 41%
Undecided - 8%

Generic Ballot

Conservative-Republicans +11
Conservative-Republican - 52%

Democratic-Liberal - 41%
Undecided - 7%

Western Multiverse Polls (June to August) - Sample: 17,114,506 registered voters

President

Homer +8
Homer - 47%

Sanae - 39%
Undecided - 14%

Generic Ballot

Democratic-Liberals +10
Democratic-Liberal - 46%

Conservative-Republican - 36%
Undecided - 18%

General Multiverse Polls (June to August) - Sample: 55,433,778 registered voters

President

Tie
Homer - 45%

Sanae - 45%

Undecided - 10%

Generic Ballot

Tie
Conservative-Republican - 44%

Democratic-Liberal - 44%

Undecided - 12%

Wise Old Man: These debates matter, since the two sides are heavily tied, when you put all the voters together. A lot of undecided voters can decide the outcome.

~ September 12, 2020 ~

Vice-Presidential Debate

7:00 PM

Deadpool: I am your host, along with Jimmy Neutron and Mr. Krabs. The audience has promised to keep quiet except for right now!

*APPLAUSE*

Alice Margatroid and Empress Long Cheng shake hands before sitting down at the table.

Deadpool: We will follow the same format as for the primary debates. If there are no questions, we shall begin.

28-Nov-2014 15:07:50 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 02:22:21 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
A moment of silence is held for the people who died fighting Corona-Chan.

~ Opening Statements ~

Alice: I thank the Multiverse League for hosting this debate, and I thank Reimu and Marisa for their sacrifices. We've been given new life, and we should use it to make ourselves better.

Long Cheng: I thank everyone for coming here tonight. Now is an important time to talk about our future.

~ Economy Debate Highlights ~

Alice: I think the economy is doing fine. It survived Corona-Chan, and with more jobs, we will be just fine.

Long Cheng: The economy is doing fine for the upper class. What I want to see is for us to move away from oil and gas to biofuel and green energy. We must also give back to the workers who helped to run our factories and pave our roads.

Alice: The conservatives are way ahead of you there. Yes, we need clean energy, but we can't just abandon our oil and gas workers! Forcing everyone to switch over will cost us jobs, and it will destabilize the economy. I believe that we can make our environment cleaner with common sense initiatives, where oil and gas are made cleaner.

Long Cheng: They are not renewable resources. Eventually, we will have to switch over.

Alice: The universe is infinitely large. We can farm asteroids for oil and gas, if necessary. I'm an engineer, I know what I'm talking about. We can invent new technologies to recycle oil and gas. Eventually, we will switch over when we find better and reliable sources.

~ Health Care Debate Highlights ~

Long Cheng: Our health care plan will reduce premiums by 50%. If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.

Alice: OK, that sounds fine. But we also need a private tier health care system, so people don't have to wait 3 months to get a MRI scan. If they want to pay for faster service, we must allow them to do that.

~ Education Debate Highlights ~

Long Cheng: I will improve public education.

28-Nov-2014 15:08:29 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 02:37:52 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Alice: It's not just public education. We should have a private option and a homeschooling option. My plan will provide support for private schools that are actually helping their students, and also support for parents who are teaching their kids at home.

~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

Deadpool: We will structure this section like a town hall. Audience members can ask any question they want.

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, you, the guy back there.

Jimmy Neutron hands him the microphone.

Person 1: I'm a farmer who raises 3 kids. I farm apples, oranges, and other fruits. I've been put against the wall due to heavy taxes, and I might have to file for bankruptcy. What will you do to help me and other farmers?

Long Cheng: Thank you for asking that question. Of course, we will raise taxes on billionaires so we can lower taxes on the middle class. We will provide support to farmers like you, who are growing our food. Our goal is to create a fair society.

Alice: Funny thing about that, Santa Claus promised the same thing. So you're copying his platform? Nice. We will lower taxes on everyone. Instead of raising taxes on rich people to feed the government, we will address the root cause of all evil. We will make government smaller and cheaper so everyone has more room to grow independently. Don't worry, you will receive the support you need, since the government will still exist.

Person 2: What will you do to address climate change?

Long Cheng: Again, clean energy is the key. Our cars must run on electricity or else!

Alice: Instead of wasting money on something that hasn't even been proven, let's focus on the real environmental issues. Let's focus on cutting down pollution, and cleaning our forests and lakes.

Person 3: Fun question. Say one nice thing about each other.

The crowd laughs.

Long Cheng: I see that Alice is very smart and beautiful.

Alice: Empress Long Cheng is very passionate about the issues, and I admire that.

28-Nov-2014 15:09:11 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 02:49:49 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Deadpool: Important questions from me. Alice, you have a record of being selfish in Gensokyo, and refusing to help save the world when asked to. Why should people trust you now?

Alice: That's not true. While I do care about myself, I have done puppet shows in the human village for the children. I am doing community service. I don't want to interfere in affairs where I'm not needed. If someone asks me to save the world, I would consider it.

Deadpool: Empress Long Cheng, you have come under fire for your terrible human rights record in your Chinese universe. You enslaved your people, and are using military force to conquer foreign lands. Why should people vote for you?

Long Cheng: You're taking my achievements out of context. I am a liberator. I am liberating the lands from their rulers, and giving them a better economy. These lands all belong to China. I am just fulfilling destiny.

~ Closing Statements ~

Alice: I hope that you have learned from this debate. You have learned the differences between liberalism and conservatism. Please go over both of our websites, and you will see the better choice. I have faith in the people, and I look forward to what happens next. Thank you.

Long Cheng: You saw a clear contrast between me and Alice. While Alice seems to have lost faith in governments, I still believe that the government can be a force of good for the people. The truth is that people are suffering, and they need help right now. It's not about us, it's about you. Remember that. Thank you.

Deadpool: That concludes our vice-presidential debate.

*APPLAUSE*

The two shake hands and leave the stage.

Wise Old Man: What do you think?

King Roald: I'd say this debate is a tie. They both made good points.
The next debate will be the last one, and it could decide the election.

Wise Old Man: I don't know. I think Alice has the moral high ground. Long Cheng has killed a lot of people in her conquests.

28-Nov-2014 15:09:19 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 03:05:45 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~ October 3, 2020 ~

Presidential Debate

7:00 PM

Deadpool: This is the only presidential debate between Homer Simpson and Sanae Kochiya. We ask the audience to remain quiet except for right now!

*APPLAUSE*

Homer and Sanae shake hands and then step to their respective podiums.
A moment of silence is held for the people who died fighting Corona-Chan.

Deadpool: Congratulations on making it to the final stage. We will follow the same format as in the previous debates. If there are no questions, we will begin.

~ Opening Statements ~

Homer: I thank you for having me here. I thank the Multiverse League for hosting this debate. I thank my friends and family for bringing me here.

Sanae: I thank my friends and family back home and aboard. I thank the Multiverse League for their hospitality. This debate is an important opportunity for us to discuss solutions to the biggest issues we face today.

~ Economy Debate Highlights ~

Homer: I want to bring back jobs. I want to grow small businesses, and stand for the little guy.

Sanae: You're saying the right things, but you have no proof that you are even remotely capable of delivering any of this. Do you even know what a small business is? It's not a major corporation that is being funded by Wall Street.

Homer: All I need to know is that jobs are good. My experts will handle the rest.

Sanae: Not all jobs are good. Jobs without pay are not good.

Homer: I will raise the minimum wage to $15/hour.

Sanae: But then businesses can't afford to pay everyone. People will be laid off. You will lose jobs.

Homer: I will print more money.

Sanae: That just causes inflation.

Homer: Then I will take more money from billionaires and give to small businesses, so they can pay everyone $15/hour.

Sanae: Why are you copying Santa Claus' platform? Weren't you against him?

Homer: I've taken some of his advice, and I will try to hand out more free stuff.

28-Nov-2014 15:09:56 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 03:20:30 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~ Health Care Debate Highlights ~

Homer: I will try my best to make health care as cheap as possible. Everyone should get the basic coverage. No premiums for children.

Sanae: My plan already does that. Obviously, children shouldn't pay for premiums. My plan covers families as well. A lot of money will come from the free market, where medicine costs will be greatly reduced. The problem with big governments is big corruption. Lobbyists pay the government what they need, and in exchange, they protect the corporations.

Obviously, governments can't be trusted with making things cheaper for the people.
History shows the opposite effect. Bigger governments makes everything more expensive.
Someone has to pay for all of that bureaucracy.

Homer: The free market will lead to hoarding, and the raising up of prices. We need regulations to stop this. We need regulations to stop lobbyists.

Sanae: The free market will drive prices down. If someone sells them for too high, others can undercut by producing the same goods. We're not talking about rares on RuneScape, we're talking about basic medicine that any company can make. The rules never stopped lobbyists.

~ Education Debate Highlights ~

Homer: I have a plan to improve the public schools. But we need more government to make sure it happens.

Sanae: We've already had big governments run everything in the past. It didn't work. It will not work now. The public schools take money from the government, and then they must teach whatever the government tells them to teach. Every region is different, you can't apply one teaching plan to everyone. It would be a disaster. Also, some governments tell schools to teach kids useless stuff. We see how dictatorships just teach kids to follow the leader.

Homer: We live in a democracy, not a dictatorship. We will focus on math and science. Of course, we're not telling kids to worship me!

Sanae: That's what they all say, and look what happened...

28-Nov-2014 15:10:08 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 03:30:45 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

Deadpool: This will be set up like a town hall. Members of the audience can ask questions.

Jimmy: Over there. The woman in the green shirt.

Person 1: Will you solve the climate change crisis? Also, what will you about child support in marriages?

Homer: I will end climate change. Period. We will get off cars and on clean energy. I will provide child support, about $1,000 per month, to mothers who are unemployed or who are really poor.

Sanae: Homer will not solve the climate change issue because it doesn't exist. The scientists did not prove that climate change is manmade. All we know is that the environment is being destroyed by pollution, oil being dumped into rivers, and garbage piling up in the woods. I will focus on real environmental policies for real results. As for child support, I will provide money to families who can't help themselves. We'll look at $1,000 per month, when the government is made smaller and cheaper.

Person 2: How will you prepare for the next Corona-Chan?

Homer: We must invest in our military. We need a big government to do that. We need to invent new weapons to fight chaos and prepare our troops for the inevitable. I have worked as soldier one time. I know what it's like. I know how to win.

Sanae: I've actually fought on the battlefield. I understand of importance of preparation. Homer failed basic military tests and never faced any real combat. I've actually won battles on my own. Corona-Chan is made up of chaos, so we need anti-chaos weaponry immediately. But a bigger government would just lead to more incompetence.

Person 3: What is your opinion on illegal immigration?

Homer: I will make immigration legal! Period! We do not discriminate! Everyone is welcome! I will let the immigrants in! Unless you have committed serious crimes, you are welcome!

Sanae: No offense, Homer, but you are such a simp. We can't just take in all the immigrants!

28-Nov-2014 15:10:36 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 05:10:18 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Like you and Long Cheng said, we don't have infinite supplies!
Putting billions of people in one spot without support will lead to more environmental damage! If you really care about the environment, then you know that homeless people will grow the landfills and pollute the water!
I'm not blaming homeless people for this, obviously! But when you let people in, and you can't provide them with clean homes and clean energy, this is what happens!
And new diseases will spring up as infections spread!
You are practically begging Corona-Chan to come back!

Homer: Now, you listen to me. I'm just trying to show compassion to people who are coming through our border for a better life. I'm trying to give everyone an equal opportunity.

Sanae: ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! NOT LEGAL, ILLEGAL!
Look, let's be clear here. Immigration is already legal.
If you want to move here, great, but you have to go through the line like everyone else.
Don't come in like a thief in the night.
By letting illegal immigrants in, you are punishing all the good people who are trying to come in legally.
I will make the document checks easier, so more immigrants can come in.
But you have to do your part too. Countries are great because of hard working people, not lazy people. You must contribute to our success. We will help you, but you must help yourself.

Didn't you say that in your debate against Santa, Homer?
I have a question for you. Why are you now simping for criminals?!?!

Homer: It's all relative. It depends on how you look at illegal immigration. Yes, we need skilled workers, but we must consider innocent children who lost their families and victims of war.

Sanae: Most illegal immigrants are drug dealers. If you have nothing to hide, then you would just apply legally. It's really that simple...

Deadpool: OK, we have to move on now.

Person 4: Say one nice thing about each other.

Homer: Sanae is a very powerful speaker.

Sanae: Homer is a wonderful father.

28-Nov-2014 15:11:19 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 05:19:30 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~ Closing Statements ~

Homer: Well, we've had our debate. I don't think Sanae gets it. I have proven experience working with many people, not just anime characters. Please vote for me. I look forward to serving you. Thank you.

Sanae: This has been a debate of principles versus simpletons. Homer has a good heart, but he fails to understand what he is trying to describe. I should point out that Touhou is a video game, not anime. I have faith in the people. Faith has always been an important concept to me. But big government is not something to be believed, and I'm sure the people will see that after some research and time. I look forward to serving you in whatever capacity that may be. Thank you.

Deadpool: So will you support the final results of this election?

Homer: Yes.

Sanae: I've heard that the system has been rigged on multiple levels. What happened with Santa Claus is troubling and downright disgraceful.

Deadpool: So what's your answer?

Sanae: I honestly don't know. I'll keep you in suspense.

Deadpool: That concludes our presidential debate. The general election will be on November 3. Be sure to vote. This is the end of the debates. Thank you for being with us all the way. The end of the road is near. Whatever happens, happens. I hope that you will be satisfied with the process, even if you can't accept the results.

*APPLAUSE*

Homer refuses to shake Sanae's right hand. The two leave the stage.

Wise Old Man: I think I can declare a winner. Sanae Kochiya. Homer doesn't understand what illegal immigration is. That was the big moment.

King Roald: Also on the environment, some would argue that Sanae has the better policy. Of course, Homer doesn't know what Touhou is, which just makes him look worse.

Wise Old Man: But keeping people in suspense shows that she doesn't have faith in democracy. That looks bad on her. But we'll see what happens...

- END OF EPISODE 16 -

28-Nov-2014 15:11:58 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2020 05:31:50 by Divinity M

Quick find code: 49-50-76-65526168 Back to Top