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Divinity M

Divinity M

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Dr. Strangelove: We need billionaires to invest in our economy. The economy will crash if we scare them away. Besides, we're already taxing billionaires in the real world.

Shuang: Yeah, but, it's not enough. And it would be a universal tax so they have nowhere to run.

~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

Ant-Man (tries to speak Spanish): Le situation esta inacceptable. Quand je becomia presidentia, je demandos des tacos et burritos feedo los immigrantos.
The situation is unacceptable. When I become president, I will demand tacos and burritos to feed the immigrants.

Eric (tries to speak Spanish): Los climato esta affect cette persona Doritos Cheetos?
This climate affects every person Doritos Cheetos?

Long Cheng: We can use magical energy to power our cars. We can move away from oil and gas.

~ Closing Statement Highlights ~

Aslan: Please just look at my website. Everything is there.

Homer: Text Homer to 10100 on your, uhh...record player or whatever you're using these days.

Peter: We can change it up! WE CAN CHANGE IT ALL!

Deadpool: AND THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! YOUR FIRST AWESOME, SUPER-DUPER DEMOCRATIC-LIBERAL DEBATE IS NOW COMPLETE!

*APPLAUSE*

~ September 10, 2019 ~

Wise Old Man: Hi, I'm with the RuneScape News Network interviewing voters out here. So what do you think of the debates so far?

Voter: Are you kidding me? That was a debate? That was a total circus freak show! And probably insulting to actual circuses!

Voter: They didn't talk about the real issues...I mean they did, but it wasn't enough. A lot of fear-mongering and some pandering with Eric and Ant-Man. Just awful.

Voter: I feel bad for guys like Aslan. They barely got a chance to speak.

King Roald: So what do you think?

Guthix: I almost regret it. I think I did fine, but I need to be more aggressive and go after the others.

28-Nov-2014 13:57:44 - Last edited on 22-Mar-2020 02:13:52 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~ September 14, 2019 ~

5:00 PM

Deadpool: LAST WEEK, WE HAD THE SUPER AWESOME EPIC DEMOCRATIC-LIBERAL DEBATES!!!! THIS WEEK, WE'RE GOING ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE!!! HUMANS, I PRESENT TO YOU THE CONSERVATIVE-REPUBLICANS!!!

Krabs: YOUR STARTING LINEUP, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

Naruto
InuYasha
Monkey D. Luffy

Kirby
Sans (Undertale)
Mario

Deadpool: LET'S GO CONSERVATIVE-REPUBLICANS FULL POWER MODE TONIGHT PEWPEWPEW!!!!

*APPLAUSE*

Deadpool: OK, OK! Before we get started, I have to ask you a special question from the Conservative-Republican Committee. If you were to drop out, at some point in the race, would you support the nominee, whoever it may be?

The candidates look at each other.

Deadpool: To be clear, if you don't become the nominee, would you support the winner?
If you refuse, please raise your hand now, or forever hold your peace.

No hands are raised.

Deadpool: Alright! LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

~ Opening Statement Highlights ~

Naruto: I will fix things! BELIEVE IT!

Luffy: I am a real leader. Just look at my record. I've won big fights.

Sans: I am stronger than all of the other candidates combined.

~ Economy Debate Highlights ~

Mario: Look, what we're doing isn't working. Giving private companies more money isn't working.

Kirby: I will eat the debt! Nom nom nom!

~ Health Care Debate Highlights ~

InuYasha: I will defeat health care! Erm, I mean, support it, yeah...

Naruto: Health care should be free. No one should have to wait in line to pay money for things they need to live!

~ Education Debate Highlights ~

Mario: I think we can educate people through games. Kids love games.

Luffy: We need to tell kids to go outside.

~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

InuYasha: We need to go back to the feudal era. There was no climate change back then.

Mario: Challenge. The climate's always changing. The problem now is that it's manmade.

28-Nov-2014 13:58:14 - Last edited on 22-Mar-2020 02:52:03 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Luffy: Climate change is a hoax. I've been outside every day and I haven't seen any changes.

~ Closing Statement Highlights ~

Naruto: Go to my website. I just made it today. Don't forget to like and subscribe to it.

Luffy: I am the king of the pirates. I can give you the strong leadership you need to get things done.

Mario: I can get the working class back on track, including those pesky plumbers!

Deadpool: And that concludes our debate. Come back tomorrow for another round!

*APPLAUSE*

~ September 15, 2019 ~

Voter: Reimu is making her debut tonight. I'm really excited.

Voter: I know, right? I've never seen Touhou or anime before, so this will definitely be new for me.

Voter: The debates so far have been boring and irrelevant. Really a big waste of time. Hopefully this one will be different because it has Touhou.

Wise Old Man: Touhou is one of the most mysterious universes out there. You know what to expect from guys like Superman or even Guthix. But Touhou is completely different. In fact, it's not even anime. Touhou is a great unknown for most voters. It's not mainstream, not even in Japan. It is a purely independent franchise that comes directly from the people. No corporations. No special interests. Just pure Touhou. Let's see how Touhou can change the game.

King Roald: Now, keep in mind, Reimu is a conservative, not an Independent. So she's not completely going her own way. Let's see what she has to offer...

28-Nov-2014 13:58:26 - Last edited on 22-Mar-2020 05:48:08 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
5:00 PM

Deadpool: LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I PRESENT TO YOU MORE CONSERVATIVE-REPUBLICANS!!!

Krabs: YOUR STARTING LINEUP, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

Reimu Hakurei
Natsumi (Strike the Blood)
Lex Luthor

Misaka Mikoto (Independent)
Sherlock Holmes
Ash Ketchum (Independent)

Deadpool: LET'S GO!!!!! CONSERVATIVE-REPUBLICANS FULL POWER MODE TONIGHT PEWPEWPEW!!!!

*APPLAUSE*

~ Reimu's Defining Moment ~

Deadpool: OK, OK! Before we get started, I have to ask you a special question from the Conservative-Republican Committee. If you were to drop out, at some point in the race, would you support the nominee, whoever it may be?

The candidates look at each other.

Deadpool: To be clear, if you don't become the nominee, would you support the winner?
If you refuse, please raise your hand now, or forever hold your peace.

One hand raises up. Reimu Hakurei looks at the other candidates and shrugs her shoulders.

Deadpool: Reimu, is that a no? Do you refuse to support the nominee?

Reimu: Well, duh. I owe you nothing.

Deadpool: We'll ask you about this during the special topics.

~ Opening Statement Highlights ~

Reimu: My name is Reimu Hakurei and I will make everything great again!

Misaka: I am here because I am a true independent. No corporate interests. What you get is the real me.

~ Economy Debate Highlights ~

Reimu: The economy, frankly, stinks! I will make it great again!

Natsumi: Challenge. How will you do that?

Reimu: By creating more jobs! Put the people back into work!

~ Health Care Debate Highlights ~

Reimu: I will make health care great again. Back in the day, you didn't have to wait in line for days to see a doctor. I will make it cheap and affordable, and you don't have to wait.

Lex: Challenge.

Reimu: Well, you don't have a plan, so I can just ignore you.

~ Education Debate Highlights ~

Reimu: Let's make school great again!

28-Nov-2014 13:58:56 - Last edited on 22-Mar-2020 05:19:00 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I mean, it's so boring, especially for university students, to just sit there while the professor goes on and on and on...Let's make education more fun. Motivate people!

~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

Deadpool: Obvious question. Why will you not support the nominee?

Reimu: Well, I owe you nothing! I like traditions, the conservative ideas. I just don't like the party! I shouldn't have to support whoever comes forward if I don't like the guy!
Let me correct that. I will support myself if I am the nominee. How about that?

Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!!!!

Reimu: LOL. I don't care what you think. Bunch of corporate donors. Establishment billionaire hacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Reimu: Nice paid crowd you got there. Really looks good on you. Hey, I think they really like me!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Reimu: But as I was saying, the party should work for me, not the other way around. I joined the party to serve my interests, and to change it as I see fit.

~ Closing Statement Highlights ~

Reimu: Join me. If you're an average Joe who's tired of the establishment rigging everything up, join me. I'm a real person. Not like those half-price NPCs they pulled out of the dollar store. I am not a traditional conservative, if that means supporting the status quo, oppressing the citizens...

I am an anime Touhou populist. Yes, Touhou is not an official anime but we have a fan made anime. Check it out! My point is that I represent popular trends in anime and Touhou, and with my awesome ideas, I shall MAKE EVERYTHING GREAT AGAIN!

Sherlock: I know I didn't have much of a chance to speak. Just check out my website.

Ash: I exist. :|

Deadpool: O_o

Deadpool: .......................Aaaaaaaaaaand that's our debate, folks. Thanks for watching? We'll see you next time...? Please...? O_o

*awkward applause*

Reimu drops her microphone on her way off the stage.

- END OF EPISODE 2 -

28-Nov-2014 13:59:08 - Last edited on 22-Mar-2020 05:38:43 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Episode 3: Impeach Anime!


~ September 16, 2019 ~

The Conservative-Republican Committee members are hanging around in the lounge in the Multiverse Headquarters.

*cellphone rings*

Chairman: Yeah?

Member: You watched that debate last night?

Chairman: Yeah, what about it?

Member: I'm concerned about that Reimu girl...Touhou populist, wasn't it?

Chairman: Yes. We are concerned too.

Member: But what can we do?

Chairman: Just keep doing your thing. We have six ways from Sunday to get her out.
Rest assured, the Conservative-Republican party will not fall to an anime character.

Member: I think Touhou is not an anime.

Chairman: It does not matter. She will fall.

The cellphone call ends. The member looks at the blue sky. Lex Luthor stands behind him.

Meanwhile, at the RuneScape News Network...

Quizmaster: So what do you think of the debates?

Wise Old Man: Honestly, I think we already have a winner for the Conservative-Republicans.
It's going to be Reimu.

Quizmaster: Wait, are you sure?

Wise Old Man: 100%. You can take that to the bank! Here's why. She was the only one who had a real personality. Everyone else just looked like a bunch of NPCs.

Quizmaster: But people were booing at her.

Wise Old Man: But were they? The corporate donors were booing at her. But everyone else, the people who came in through the ticket lottery, they were speechless.

Look, Reimu took a high risk, high reward strategy by raising her hand, and going all-out.
It was either going to backfire or make her amazing. I saw that crowd.

The fact that they didn't join the rich people in booing her tells me all I need to know.
The strategy worked. Anime Touhou populism sounds ridiculous, but it works.
She has reached out to the voters. To the working class. To people who are tired of the same old games.

Just make it great again. Just make it work. Just say what you want to say.

28-Nov-2014 14:00:16 - Last edited on 25-Mar-2020 01:34:57 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This is what people want to hear. They don't care about how smart you sound, or how you dress. They just want the one simple message. The one truth.

Quizmaster: But Reimu hasn't explained how she will "make everything great again".

Wise Old Man: But she's done enough to get people interested. It's all there on the website anyways. The thing about debates is that there's not enough time to go through it all in details. You're not going to explain foreign policy in 3 minutes.

You just want to say enough to get people interested. Reimu is the smart one for doing that. And of course, she's not afraid to go after the others. That was important. It shows that she can take over the stage.

Quizmaster: What about the Democratic-Liberals?

Wise Old Man: There are way too many people in it to make a call. I have to wait until some people drop out to see. So far, no one really stands out to me as the winner. Also, there are guys like Seto Kaiba who are in the race but have not made a move yet.

I probably will have no idea until January.

But I'm calling it now for Reimu. It's over. Unless something spectacular happens, she is about to make history.

Quizmaster: What about Guthix?

Wise Old Man: He needs to do more. He has to come out and dominate the debate stage and prove to people that he's not just a NPC. I expect him to do better. I know he can do better. When we played sports, he dominated like a lion. He needs to bring that into 2020, or he might as well drop out right now. Guthix was the MVP of 2018. Will he be the MVP of 2020?

~ October 2019 ~

~ Democratic-Liberal Candidate Drop Outs ~

Candidate (donors, campaign money left, date)

Doctor Who (55,000 donors, $100,000, October 5)
Aslan (32,000 donors, $0, October 12)
Ant-Man (15,000 donors, $0, October 12)
Spider-Man (25,000 donors, $10,000, October 14)
Donald Duck (40,000 donors, $15,000, October 22)

28-Nov-2014 14:00:46 - Last edited on 25-Mar-2020 01:56:14 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
None of these candidates endorsed anyone.

~ October 30, 2019 ~

Quizmaster: So polls show Reimu leading the conservatives by a lot. So far, it's still a struggle with the liberals. Homer Simpson leads slightly over Superman.

Wise Old Man: We're not seeing much movement there. I think it'll all come down to name recognition. Whoever is the most popular before-hand will be the nominee.

Campaigning is very expensive, so they're not going to every universe. That means most people have no idea who these people are.

King Roald: But they've already seen guys like Homer and Superman on TV.

Wise Old Man: Exactly! The guys who are already on the mainstream media don't have to campaign that hard to reach out to people. They're already in people's heads. So they have the advantage going forward in this kind of race.

Quizmaster: Breaking news report just came out today. A whistleblower has come forward to accuse anime and video games of crimes against humanity. The Multiverse League is requesting volunteers for the House and Senate.

Wise Old Man: Remember, this is the first election. The government is empty right now.

Quizmaster: The House debate and vote are scheduled for December. If something passes the House, then the Senate will have to debate on it in January.

King Roald: I don't want to get into conspiracy theories but...do you think this has something to do with Reimu?

Wise Old Man: We have no evidence to say anything yet...

King Roald: This is a good opportunity for candidates to get free advertising on mainstream media, since all of this will be live on TV. I've heard that Guthix has already signed up.

~ November 2019 ~

~ Democratic-Liberal Candidate Drop Outs ~

Candidate (donors, campaign money left, date, endorsement)

The Flash (75,000 donors, $1,000, November 5, Superman)
Bugs Bunny (150,000 donors, $25,000, November 10, Mickey Mouse)

~ Conservative-Republican Candidate Drop Outs ~

28-Nov-2014 14:01:31 - Last edited on 25-Mar-2020 02:18:45 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Candidate (donors, campaign money left, date, endorsement)

InuYasha (13,000 donors, $0, November 3, Reimu Hakurei)
Kirby (45,000 donors, $0, November 15, Reimu Hakurei)
Sherlock Holmes (5,000 donors, $0, November 20, Reimu Hakurei)
Naruto (28,000 donors, $0, November 30, Reimu Hakurei)

~ New Democratic-Liberal Candidates ~

Haruhi Suzumiya registered on November 20.
SpongeBob SquarePants registered on November 25.

~ December 5, 2019 ~

1:00 PM

The first day of the House debates on anime and video games.

Judge: Order in the House! Thank you all for coming here. We thank all of the brave volunteers who stepped forward to form this new provisional government. This is our first show, so we appreciate your tremendous courage in stepping up. We'll start with taking the attendance.

- Democratic-Liberals Present -

Eric Cartman
Harry Potter
Batman
Mickey Mouse
Gohan
Thanos
Joker

- Independent Present -

Guthix

- Conservative-Republicans Present -

InuYasha
Monkey D. Luffy
Naruto

About 300 other people were present.

House Leader: Hi. I'm a member of the Democratic-Liberal committee and I'm their House leader. Welcome.

As you know, we live in a difficult time. We've reached a crossroads in our history.
Today, we are forced to ask the important questions of our existence.
As modern society was born, anime was born. To quote Spider-Man, "with great power comes great responsibility".

Yes, it's time. We've all seen it. Those silly Japanese cartoons. Those memes on social media. But are they really just memes? Jokes to spread around? Or are they more than that?

An anonymous whistle-blower came forward with extraordinary allegations on October 30. That anime is not just an innocent cartoon. That anime is the root of all evil. That video games are promoting toxic masculinity.

Yes, our team of scientists has researched his claims and have found disturbing evidence on 4chan.

28-Nov-2014 14:01:37 - Last edited on 25-Mar-2020 05:02:27 by Divinity M

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