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Eri Vi
Jun Member 2010

Eri Vi

Posts: 965 Gold Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hey Logan! Thanks for your excellent reviews, and congratulations to everyone who entered.
That very short story contest sounds awesome, and I think I know what I'll be writing about.
I've been offline for a while, due to being in the middle of the Australian desert, but I'm finally in mobile range once again and I'll be back to full activity in about a week.
If you think I could help with the running of this thread then be sure to sign me up for whatever position you feel best suits.
I've since edited my 'on the sea' story, although I again missed most of the mistakes you pointed out =P The actual storyline actually changed a fair bit though, and I might post it just out of interest of your opinion.

12-Sep-2010 08:24:51 - Last edited on 12-Sep-2010 08:25:29 by Eri Vi

Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
ITIalevolent:
Hey, nice to see you around. Congratulations to you for winning, as well.
Yes, I hope this contest turns out at least as good as the last (though preferably with faster results, haha).
I hope to see your entry.
Australian desert? On vacation or something? Haha.
I do think you could help, and I'll put you down as an administrator.
Thanks. =]
I'm interested, but for the sake of reducing redundant story posts on this thread (Which is filling up rather quickly), it might be best if you post it on one of your own threads and leave me a comment that tells me where to find it.
R Quote:
It's not too late. You can find details on page 60, about halfway down.
Everybody is welcome to participate.
=]
And now, goodnight to you all (It is 5:20 AM here, heh).

12-Sep-2010 11:18:47

LovelyMelons

LovelyMelons

Posts: 1,086 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The man resided beside the tombstone, kneeling solemnly as he removed the blackened roses from the bedding. His hands dug into the soil, unearthing the reddened coffin. Dirt crawled underneath his fingernails, his ashen hands pounding into the earth, his hands shaking as he grasped the rusted holds positioned on either side of the casket. He tugged on the brass handles, the rotted wood crumbling into nothing as he craned it from the grave. He dropped it on the grassy bedding abiding by the grave, his sweat dribbling relentlessly from his brow into his eyes. He collapsed onto the ground, his body exhausted from such physical exertion. The pair lay motionless, not a breath residing in either. Both the corpse and the man were still, both as dead as time itself.
The man slowly cracked his eyes open, inch by inch.
He rolled onto his side, wheezing as he squirmed about. He managed to traipse himself up, standing crookedly on one foot. He shook the feeling off, breathing hard through his nostrils. He bent over to the coffin and attempted to open it; his hand broke through the wasted wood, splinters digging into his flesh as he tore through it. His eyes fell upon the decayed corpse, its deathly splendor morbidly portrayed through its elegant eyes, staring blankly into the man’s face. He slipped his arms through the cracks, getting under the limp body with his bare hands. He lifted the delicate carcass slowly, oh so slowly, ensuring every precious little detail was left uncontaminated. He carefully placed the fragile body into a musty cradle, securing its safety. He presently lifted in his arms, walking silently from the graveyard back to his car.
“Daddy loves you, Michael. When he said that he’d always be there for you, he made a promise. And your daddy is going to keep that promise forever and ever.” the man smiled, briskly trotting out of the burial grounds. His boots met the concrete sidewalk, verifying he was in the clear. He began to slacken his pace,

13-Sep-2010 06:16:05

LovelyMelons

LovelyMelons

Posts: 1,086 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
humming a gentle tune to the babe’s corpse as he strolled over to his car. He crossed the street, caressing the infant’s deceased hair. The man then arrived at his car, chuckling as he pulled the handle back, opening the car door. He carefully placed the cradle in the passenger seat, following in pursuit and shutting the door behind him. He swept the seat belt over his chest and clicked it into its buckle, turning the ignition in unison. He pressed his foot down on the gas peddle and drove off, baby and all.
He arrived at his complex promptly approximately ten minutes later. He released his buckle, smiling as he lifted the cadaver of the child from the cradle. He abandoned his car, slamming the door shut behind him. The man proceeded down the hallway, descended down the stairwell, walked a further block or so and came to the location of his apartment. “Soon it’ll be all better, I’ll give you a nice, warm bath and I’ll read you some stories.” the man giggled 'queerly, unlocking the door. He opened it, proceeding inside and shutting it behind him.
“Honey, I’m home!” the man announced, entering the suite. “Oh, thank goodness. The children have been so obnoxious-“ the woman began, but was cut off by the man. “It’s okay, hon. I got it.” he soothed, walking casually towards the bedroom. He swiftly opened the closet door, the cool air ventilating through his hair.
He turned and subtly closed the door behind him, laughing idiotically as he carried babe’s cadaver. He knelt onto his knees, carefully lowering the carcass into a cut-up shirt prepared for the occasion a few hours earlier. He placed it gently on the cloth, wrapping the corpse in swaddling clothes. He stood back up, resuming his previous posture, walking towards the door. He slowly cracked it open, smiling. He passed through the doorway and turned around, beginning to shut the door. "Sweet Dreams." he muttered, closing the door behind him.

13-Sep-2010 06:23:21 - Last edited on 13-Sep-2010 06:25:26 by LovelyMelons

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Mmm, Editors look quite an interesting post.
I could offer my services, I suppose, but because it was a complete surprise that I now need to be in charge of Elite's project, and I'll also be running another establishment on the RS forum later this year, it may be hectic for me to check in here very often.
Put my name down if you like, but I can't promise I can do a great deal around here :)

13-Sep-2010 19:04:27

Crocefisso

Crocefisso

Posts: 1,385 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thank you very much for your offer, Logan. :D
I would be delighted to help you with the wonderful work you do on this thread and become an Editor.
I am quite busy during the week, so I won't be able to do much, but I will hope to review (at least) one short story every weekend so as to be as useful as possible. ;)

13-Sep-2010 19:06:24

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