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The Adventures of Corugi

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Corugi

Corugi

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!!!6!!!
I always wondered what caused that fetid stench arising from my armpits.
To think it was rotton onion juice all along.
*sits, avidly attenative, waiting for the next chapter in my MIGHTY exploits* I failed to keep my New Year's resolution before I even made it.

10-Feb-2011 09:56:03

Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Posts: 10,908 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Proud of his achievements with the pathetic farmer Fred, Corugi set off to find his next adventure. He travelled south west through rain and storm. On and on he went through dangerous marshlands where everything was sharp and pointy.
The foul mutated rats were so big they could eat a man whole, and the insects had a very nasty bite. Of course, none of these things were a threat to the Great Corugi himself. The rats were slain with minor effort and injury and the insects could not keep up with the swiftness of Corugi's escape. Onwards, he travelled ever forth until he eventually stumbled upon the quiet town of Draynor.
It was a small but pretty seaside town. The market on the town square was always busy. Fishermen sold their biggest fish, farmers sold their most funnily shaped vegetables, and a strange man called Diango tried to sell interesting toys to anyone who even glanced in his direction.
To Corugi, this was a town full of opportunity, a town full of fools who needed the help of his superior intellect.
After a quick examination of the town and locals, Corugi decided that for maximum profit, he would go to the biggest house of them all to offer his services. He was sure they were in trouble because all the trees surrounding the great manor seemed to be either dead or dying. Probably just another case of bad farming, he thought to himself and set a course for the most northern building.
The gates surrounding the land on which the manor was built looked like they were made to keep even the most determined burglars out. Of course they proved to be no challenge for one as intelligent and agile as Corugi, and he squeezed himself through a hole in the metal fence.
The dead trees seemed to turn their branches to follow him as he made his way to the massive front doors. Of course everyone knows trees can't move, and Corugi quickly dismissed such silly thoughts.

16-Feb-2011 16:15:35 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2011 16:18:05 by Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Posts: 10,908 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The manor looked even more massive while standing at the front doors than it had from the town. A fine building, it would be a nice reward for whatever services he could provide to the occupants.
Our hero shook his head to dismiss his daydreams of owning the place, and knocked on the door.
“Behold!” He shouted when his knocks were not answered. “The mighty hero Corugi has arrived! Surely he should be offered a warm meal and a soft bed for the night.” Patiently, he waited for several seconds before knocking again, a bit louder this time. “A great hero should not be kept outside like a wet dog!” Still there was no reply.
Of course, he could always kick down the door, but since he had hurt his knee on that magically reinforced contraption of Fred, Corugi decided to go for a more subtle approach.
Using his amazing lock picking skills he managed to open the door without too many problems and he quickly entered.
The inside of the manor was just as creepy as the outside, maybe even more so. Dust and cobwebs covered every surface, yet all the lights were lit. A faint banging sound was coming from somewhere upstairs but other than that the place was dead quiet.
Was that a hint of fear he felt? Corugi decided against it since he was too heroic to feel a stupid little emotion like fear. A creepy house like this was nothing compared to the dangers he has faced in the swamps. And don't forget the massive spiders he defeated in the castle of Lumbridge. Hah, this spooky house was nothing to be afraid of.
With new confidence he started to explore the majestic manor. The main hallway contained two massive staircases, one leading up and one leading down. Using his infinite wisdom Corugi quickly determined that down would be the safest route, since ghosts are lighter than air and float upwards.

16-Feb-2011 16:15:43 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2011 16:18:36 by Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Posts: 10,908 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
He carefully walked down the steps and was surprised when he discovered the basement. Lit candles filled the corners and most of the floor. In the middle of the large room sat a coffin. It too was surrounded by lit candles. Corugi decided not to waste any time wondering who cared for the candles, and opened the coffin.
“Hah, a dead vampire,” he said unsurprised, and closed the comfortable looking final resting place. Everyone knows vampires are nothing but a bunch of weak pansies that prey on the even weaker pansies, and this one must have been slain a while ago.
Using his epic intellect Corugi quickly devised a plan to and claim not only the kill but also the manor for himself. Of course, he would need some supplies. One of the locals, some garlic, a sharp pointy stick and a bottle of ketchup should be all he needed to make this work.
The next morning, after Corugi had prepared everything for his scheme, he set out to collect the final ingredient: a local. Only the most stupid of stupid peasants would do, so he instantly made his way towards the busy marketplace.
“Of course it's real!” A voice that sounded like it was used to telling the most obvious lies and get away with it, called out from somewhere inside a small crowd. “It's a real Dragon kite! And it can be yours for the amazing price of one hundred thousand gold!”
Corugi pushed some peasants aside to get a better view. In the middle of the crowd stood the strange Diango, behind a wooden table packed with boxes. “You there,” he shouted and pointed at our future emperor. “You look like someone who knows what he wants.”
“I sure do,“ he replied, and approached the table. “I heard the name 'Dragon kite' and just couldn't resist. The price you ask is very generous, one hundred thousand, each I assume?”

16-Feb-2011 16:15:49 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2011 16:18:53 by Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Posts: 10,908 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Diango smiled and rubbed his hands.
“Yes, and these are the only Dragon kites available in the entire kingdom! It's a deal you just can't refuse.“
“How many Dragon kites are we talking about?” Corugi enquired while trying to examine one of the boxes more closely. “Sure these boxes can't hold more than five each.”
Diango quickly blocked his view and took our holy leader's hand. “Five in each box. And I have ten boxes. That's fifty Dragon kites for the bargain price of five million gold.”
Corugi glanced past Diango at the box again, wondering if the man was crazy.
“Five million you say? That is an insane price.”
“Aha, but that isn't everything!” Diango quickly added. “If you pay me now, in cash, I will give you a one-time new customer discount of one hundred thousand! This amazing deal will only cost you four million nine hundred thousand gold.”
Corugi was visibly shocked by the offer.
“Deal.”
Having located a suitable idiot for his vampire slaying scheme, Corugi paid one of the peasants to store the boxes in his house, and approached Diango again.
“Aha, it's my favourite customer, what can I do for you today?”
“It's more about what I can do for you.” He replied with a charming smile that was sure to convince Diango to do whatever he asked of him. “You see I have a problem and need the assistance of someone who knows what he is doing. Someone like yourself.”
Diango looked a bit uncertain so Corugi quickly came up with an unrefusable offer. “I can pay you.” The shine of gold seemed to do the trick and Diango agreed to follow our heroic prophet to the manor for ten thousand gold.

16-Feb-2011 16:15:55 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2011 16:19:23 by Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Kimzi Caky

Posts: 10,908 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Yeah I found him while I was looking for a place to stay for the night,” Corugi informed the slightly pale and shaky looking Diango as they approached the massive doors of the vampire's home. “Wouldn't let me in, he probably doesn't know who I am. They are all the same, those vampires.”
“V-V-Vampires are e-evil.” Diango stammered as Corugi led him to the basement.
“Yes they are, but this one is special.”
“I- I know, t-that's what makes him so scary.” Diango moaned. “He has been t-terrorising the village for years, until he s-suddenly stopped last week. I wonder what happened.”
“Let me worry about the details,” Corugi comforted him and pushed him off the final step into the basement. “All you need to do is hold this garlic while I hit the vampire on the head.”
Diango shakily took the vegetables and Corugi opened the coffin. “Okay, get a little bit closer Diango, it doesn't work unless he smells it.” As instructed he slowly approached the open coffin and peeked inside. A soft fluffy pillow was the last thing he saw until everything went dark.
“Haha, idiot,” Corugi said happily to himself and closed the coffin on the unconscious salesman. The stick he had used to hit Diango on the head had snapped in two, but that was no problem. He sharpened one end of the largest bit, and covered it in ketchup.
“Just like the real thing,” he praised himself. “Now it's time to claim my just reward!”

16-Feb-2011 16:16:00 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2011 16:19:55 by Kimzi Caky

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