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Yrolg

Yrolg

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I was aiming for 1400 since I wrote, for the most part, the 200 words a day. I actually got to about 250 a day if you average it out. So I'm not kicked out. :) I do plan to edit the story and give it a proper ending, so that will probably get it to the 2100 word mark.
I'll give Delnaz the benefit of the doubt and check back tomorrow to see if he's posted something.

Chuk's theme will be the theme for next week. Remember that you can do several short stories if you can't think of a way to get all 2100 in a narrative. At least one story next week has to be 70% dialogue, though.

23-Jul-2012 05:31:46 - Last edited on 23-Jul-2012 05:37:10 by Yrolg

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I suppose so. I guess we'll implement a better system when or if we think of one.
I think last week was a no-show for Delnaz, who now has two strikes for July, and Poller didn't meet the word requirement.
Lebbeh, of course, only joined in the last few days.

24-Jul-2012 03:51:11

Areno3

Areno3

Posts: 12,906 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sorry about that guys; I've been REALLY busy with work lately. After I get off of work, I'm usually exhausted mentally and physically and I just want to relax instead of trying to bust my brain to think of a good short story to post here.
Football is coming up too, so I don't know if I should be a part of this. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea and I think it's really neat. I just don't quite have the time like some of you do.
I'm disappointed in myself that I've come to this conclusion, but I feel like I'm not only cheating myself, but cheating you guys in not doing this.

24-Jul-2012 22:32:55

Chuk

Chuk

Posts: 14,177 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I can hardly believe it's Thursday already and I haven't managed to write anything. :\
EDIT: Finally managed to get something down. Would appreciate some feedback on this.
-- -- -- -- --
Verden saw her coming down the sidewalk towards him, as graceful as he remembered. She was looking at the ground, and he wondered if she’d see him. A moment later, she did.
“It’s been awhile,” she said. “How’ve you been?”
“Keeping busy, mostly. You know how it is.”
“Do I?”
Verden shrugged. “Well yeah. No different from back then, really, except for the obvious. Things just passing by the same as always.”
“Ah.”
“Yep.”
Neither spoke for a moment, and their eyes did*’t quite meet. Verden scuffed the sidewalk with his toe before saying, “Well, how about you, then? Doing well?”
It was her turn to shrug, and her answer was slow in coming. “Yeah, mostly. I mean, all my classes are good and stuff. Nothing to complain about.”
“Sounds like there might be a ‘but’ attached to that.”
“Yeah, well maybe. I don’t know.”
For the first time in the conversation, Verden met her eyes. “It’s not quite what you thought, maybe? Not how you were expecting to feel?”
She shrugged and changed the subject. “You’re looking good. Not as skinny as the last time I saw you.”
Verden had to smile. “Of course not. I was starting to blow away in a soft breeze. Figured I’d better get back to normal eating and all. Can** stay down forever.”
The corners of her mouth twitched slightly, and Verden saw a hint of the smile he remembered, the smile he’d loved. “Yeah, I guess not,* was all she said. Then after another pause that stretched on too long. “What brings you here? Thought engineers mostly kept to the other side of campus.”
“Oh, we normally do. But I sometimes park over here. Just a little bit of extra exercise, a little more time out of my cave of an apartment. Soak up some vitamin D or whatever.”

26-Jul-2012 21:22:32 - Last edited on 27-Jul-2012 10:08:47 by Chuk

Chuk

Chuk

Posts: 14,177 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
She glanced at his arms, almost blinding white in the spring sunlight. “Yeah, you could do with a little more sun. Always could.”
Verden nodded and then checked his watch. “Well it was good to see you, but I’m afraid I better get going if I’m going to make it across campus in time for campus. Glad you’re doing well.” His tone changed in the last sentence, turned almost questioning.
“Hey, one second. Where’s your class?”
“The main engineering center.”
“Oh, well I’m sorta headed that way too. Can I...”
“Yeah, of course you can tag along. As long as you keep up, anyway.”
-- -- -- -- -- -- --
So this is supposed to be one of the first times a guy and a girl see each other since they broke up some time (4-6ish months) ago. So the conversation's a bit awkward.
The girl's the one who ended the relationship, but now down the road, she's finding she still likes the guy. But doesn't really want to admit she was wrong, and is afraid he won't take her back. Sorta makes the conversation a bit more awkward.
Did any of that come across while you were reading the passage? What worked towards that end, what didn't? What dialogue seemed forced or cheesy or just plain not what a normal person would say?
Thanks for any input you can give me.
Oh, and 411 words thus far.

27-Jul-2012 10:12:18

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