i dont know .. lol Should I?
*said the Wind.
"Once I was a great general over the finest brigade, but now I'm long gone and blown away like the Northern Wind. May the storm return!"
20-Aug-2009 08:09:44
- Last edited on
21-Aug-2009 20:00:33
by
Levente
No, don't publish it.. then it would be removed from these forums and I'd have to pay for it!
But seriously, this is better than some of the books I got in my bookcase. I think my fav bit so far would be..
“I'll see you soon ..... I promise.” he said as he not dared to look into her eyes. She stared at him, smiling then placed her hand on his face. “I'm not allowed to trust a thief remember? But look after yourself, I need someone to scream at from time to time.”
Wow, Wind. Great job!
Though as Quiet said, just because I am a grammar freak..
There are some small grammatical errors, but those are fine.
Though since this story is a narrative and third-person, I'd suggest not using "I" or "You" while talking as the narrator.
Idk why, but it always made things look better.
Great story, all-in-all.