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RS Story Contest - Survivor 2

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Venmi

Venmi

Posts: 14,744 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Lebbeh: You really know how to use the second person in haunting ways. The mental instability of a seemingly normal man is quite frightening. I really felt like I was the man looking and seeing the stare and losing the ability to function. That is haunting writing! Incredible work!

Rune Wolf12: Great start! It’s definitely a nice mystery as to what happened to the man and why he went into the wilderness. After seeing that, realizing that he ended up killing himself for murdering his wife was a surprise. The end of the entry is what sealed the deal for me. He ended up actually being not guilty. Yikes! Talk about tragic, and it showed that the man who we thought was guilty was actually innocent. Great job.

30-Sep-2011 15:50:31

Venmi

Venmi

Posts: 14,744 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This was a fantastic first round and it was extremely hard to place everyone. The qualities were amazing. I will announce the top five, and then the two who will be given immunity.

-Lebbeh
-Aeraie
-Rune Wolf12
-Polymath
-iChuk

Lebbeh and iChuk will be given immunity this round. Congratulations. Placing everyone was indeed a challenge as the theme had wide interpretations and there were incredibly creative entries. Congratulations to all! The voting round is now placed on Page 1, post 7

30-Sep-2011 15:51:10

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thank you very much indeed!

Well done to everyone else as well, especially the others in the top five. The quality is so amazing that I can only imagine we are all very close.

Thank you, also, to Mitch for the prompt and in-depth judging.

30-Sep-2011 15:58:26 - Last edited on 30-Sep-2011 15:59:04 by Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thank you wholeheartedly, Snow. I really enjoyed your entry. It's just a shame that, with so many brilliant ideas bouncing around, you didn't make the top five.

I look forward to the results of the voting, and round two, immensely. :)

30-Sep-2011 16:26:35

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
'So the demons crucified the wrong man and let the guilty one go free.'
No, they didn't, unless you believe that Christ deserved death.

'This was a pretty good entry, but why must it be noted that demons and dragons were enemies? There was no point in the entry where that was important.'
Jews and Romans (dragons and demons) were enemies. You have no idea how important that point is.

'As for the relation to the theme, I question what character was the focus. If it was the demon, well that’s what demons do. They kill and betray human beings. I think you were using humans as the focus because why would they choose demons to crucify someone? Wouldn’t they do it themselves so they would get the right guy?'
The young dragon (Theophilus) was the focus; Theophilus is a name meaning "loved by God" for the Jews are the chosen nation of God. All other characters also had a focus on the theme; I used multiple views to illustrate that with some contradiction. The humans feared Jesus Christ so relied upon the demons (Romans) to get the job started. The Sadducees and Pharisees could not crucify Christ themselves because they needed a good reason to crucify Christ in the first place, for Pilate (the young demon) was unsure of what to do with him. Moreover, I did not portray the demons as being evil, but depicted them as disobeying their orders to serve justice; Pilate was a small submissive boy and he should have had acted like an adult. Don't assume that all demons and dragons are the same thing because of their titular portrayal. The story also shows us that the young dragon and young demon were present during the crucifixion when they were pondering.

30-Sep-2011 20:17:58

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
'Anyway, great job!'
There's nothing great about my job. Don't treat me like a baby. Speaking of babies, Phoenicians sacrificed their own babies by wrapping them up with cloth and putting them on fire.

Maybe I used too many references to history and the bible, but since we all know what a metaphor is, I was honestly expecting a little more than just 'I think this way because the words say so.'
But then again even if you did assume all of these things that I pointed out none of it would matter anyway, since recreating things that have already been done before is surely more worthwhile to read.

I would prefer if everyone put their votes on me, otherwise I won't bother with the contest.

30-Sep-2011 20:18:05 - Last edited on 30-Sep-2011 20:19:39 by Azigarath

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