RuneScape Forum Archive | Fall From Grace

Azigarath

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What is right, fantasy or reality? As Carl Sagan said, when you are in love, you want to tell the world, and I have a great love for weapons and armour, two subjects full of misconceptions especially in the fantasy department. Indeed, most people don’t care, but knowledge and understanding gives us more options. Scientists indeed get angry when Creationism is taught in school, so similarly, I am sensitive to what is wrong based upon what I know. Correction even in fantasy works too, after all.

“You hear of child soldiers? They're willing to kill at a very young age (albeit because they were force to but still.) So, I don't see how a seven-year-old can't kill an adult. Is it the fact that it's a child? Because anyone can do anything to anyone if he or she tries hard enough.”
This is a good point. However, child soldiers were armed with guns, at least in the past two centuries. In Africa, children were blindfolded, told to pull the trigger of an AK, and when unfolded, were shown they had gunned captives and told such action is easy. Since Ancient times, pre-teens and even children would sometimes man defences during sieges. My point is, though, that if a seven-year-old tried to kill me with a dagger (for example), I’d simply kick him in the face and chances are he’d fall down wailing, unless he had a firearm or something else capable of killing, as chances are I wouldn’t be able to kick him in time. But there is no mention how the assassination took place, maybe by poisoning. What I had in mind was a child attacking an adult with a dagger and killing him in a fight, but that would be assumption form ignorance. I still don’t understand how a glove could retract and protract blades.

“A duel? It's a full-on battle, not a duel. . . .”
lol, whoops...

14-Jun-2013 21:09:00 - Last edited on 14-Jun-2013 21:15:31 by Azigarath

Azigarath

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I said, “Yes, I can picture him sitting there, his entire body vibrating with such force.”
“I sense mockery.”
I must have a stale sense of humour. Certainly the gods are feared and respected, but when I compared it to fact, they were too submissive. Even Adolf H was almost assassinated a few times, despite being revered. The Emperor Hirohito does not seem to have ever been questioned, though. Stalin, now referred to as a saint by some Orthodox churches, was poisoned and choked to death (this is not openly admitted). Indeed, Balor could have been attacked by all the noblemen during the assembly and cut to pieces, poisoned, assassinated in his sleep, (I honestly expected this to happen by the Desert Assassins), and so on. I suppose they had no reason to do that, but the farther you go back in time, the more often leaders were killed by their own men. Caligula, treated as a god, was nonetheless killed by his own bodyguard. Yes, we’re dealing with fantasy, but anything in reality can happen in fantasy. If you want to, of course.

Neo from the Matrix wears a cassock? I did*’t know that. I was never good at watching movies.

I said, “Silly, clichéd, cartoony, unrealistic and simply bland, it’s not something that can be taken seriously.”
“No, sir, it's something you can't take seriously. As I've said previously, some people like it and some don't.”
You’re right about this one, but it also means that other people like me will have a similar opinion. It doesn’t matter, because no-one can make everyone happy, but I felt it wouldn’t hurt if your characters’ behaviour better matched their environment. In a kingdom of rebellion, there should have been more hatred than just tossing insults, such as interrogations, a Star Chamber, directed violence, and the like prior to the escalating plot. Now that I think about it, if many peasants are rebelling, where would the nobles/gods get their food and supplies? Well, then again no-one needs to eat or drink in RuneScape.

14-Jun-2013 21:09:15

Azigarath

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“Maybe because some kings don't like to get their hands dirty.”
Yeah, I suppose so. If I had supernatural powers though, I would seek out the person I hated with my retinue.

I said, “flies like a bullet into a window or something.”
“Yes, like a bullet. . . .”
Ah, that would explain it.

“Oh, goodness. Now I feel like such a jerk.”
No problem, I am open and “acceptive” in all manners, I’d never get mad at you even if you utilised mockery to my feedback. I do agree that destruction often leads to a better future, but more on that later.

Oh that it’s and its.

“Because Uriel distrusts people who were from the Imperial Kingdom. . . .”
Ah, that would explain it.

Malk? Milk? Malik? I did*’t know Malik was an actual name.

““They slammed the door behind them as they ran for the hills.**
I then said, “Lol, that made me laugh.”
Yes, it did make me laugh, there was no sarcasm there. I did laugh aloud, too.

I felt that the mages and archers were a little too passive. They should be releasing their projectiles more often.

Ah, that’s why Balor doesn’t destroy the village, then. I missed that.

“You see something shocking and/or you get injured, your eyes widened do they not?*
Yes, but considering the context of the story, rebellion and violence, I think they’d get accustomed to stuff like that. During the early Middle Ages, corpses lined along both sides of a road were normal. It’d be like driving to Wal-Mart and seeing dead people along both sides of a highway.

Well, I suppose army does have more than one meaning. But a hundred men is more of a skirmishing force, but the choice is yours.

I said, ''-Balor laughs aloud, because Raphael’s sister tried to kill him.''
But Balor does not have a sister as you said, so I think I made a mistake here.

Actually, yes, I do prefer “they remained silent” than the three dots. It’s formal, that’s all.

14-Jun-2013 21:10:04

Azigarath

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You are certainly free do make your stories how you wish, I also have my fair share of recreations and clichés. I recall a few conversations elsewhere in the forums, and I was told that originality is a fickle thing. Not only that, but it was revealed to me that trying to be purely original is as much a crime as to be wholly unoriginal, for indeed caricatures, stereotypes, and archetypes exist for a reason, so that the audience has something to relate to from their knowledge.

“But it's fiction for a reason. And that's the fun in it.”
I never thought of that, it never even crossed my mind. I will have to remember this.

You’re welcome, I try to do what I can. I also appreciate the time you took to criticize and correct me as well, and in full, which is a treat. The nature of my critiques usually has a little bit of teasing, exaggeration and ridicule, not to offend, but to provoke thought. From personal experience, I noticed that positive reviews usually don’t do anything for the other side other than “ohaikthxbai” which always makes me feel low of myself. I am also competitive with myself.

But I will finalise with what I started. I will also repeat a few things. When comparing fantasy to historic fact, fantasy cannot be right, if something is wrong then it’s wrong. I do understand it, but I am a fanatic about swordsmanship and the function of armour and weapons, due to my love of it all. Now, ignorance is not a crime, we are all ignorant about something, and in my opinion, history can be so much more exciting than imagination alone. I wish to suggest to use imagination and history at the same time to create so much more, used as a basis that is.

For example, did it ever cross your mind that there were medieval tanks, bladed grenades, and diving suits? It sounds silly, but these three things are all fact used in medieval Europe, revealed in manuscripts and manuals of the day.

14-Jun-2013 21:10:22

Azigarath

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Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction, and I seem to have failed (in many things at that, it must have been the wine) in suggesting so. I do encourage you to take a look at the uploads on YouTube when you have the time, if you want to. I myself am no expert, but I know and practise the basics, and this is all that is needed to improve your combat scenes (I only assume if you want to spice them up).

Oh dear, this exceeds two thousand words, I’d better shut up soon. Destruction builds the foundation for a new rise, I have been there many times, sometimes deleting years of work. The forums are basically dead, so I am not forcing you to rework anything, but all of this is for the future, which may arise from the destruction of our forum.

To finalise, I thank you for taking the time to look at my feedback, take heed of it, and correct me where I was wrong, and offer conversation. I am competitive with myself, so I can only hope I do even better next time.

14-Jun-2013 21:10:47

Jul

2020

Serene End

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Well, this is a first. xD I'm used to people just criticizing then walking away. Fortunately, this is much different. And yet again, I must thank you. Although I'm not much for debating/arguing, it is nice to see someone do this every now and again.
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"I understand this part, but, at least in my opinion, knights and assassins, regardless of being mortal, should still be what they should be."

Very well. I realize that this is an argument that I can't win. So, I'll take your opinion to heart and consider it.

"Well, in this case, I think it’s odd that you exempt the realism aspects for armour and weapons (weaponry is mentioned later in your reply), but do keep it in mind for clothing."

It's because Medieval/Renaissance attire have to be one of favorite kinds. xD They're both behind Victorian though. If we were to go by RuneScape matters, I would have to dress them up that way. And well... most of those clothes aren't exactly my favorite. So, I figured I'd just dress them up however I felt. Such as Balor having a frock coat, which wasn't invented until sometime around the early 1700's I believe. I'm not going for reality, but whatever it is that I want. If that's a problem then I do apologize.

"Oh, I did*’t know that. But still, it was used a bit too often."

You're right. I can't help it though that that sapphire blue is the exact color of his eyes, there's not much else to really put in front of "eyes."

"“He wears a Lilac purple open frock coat is worn on top and it is very loose”
An “and” is missing before the “is”. The sentence reads a bit awkward, I felt it could be reworded to flow better. For example, I’d reword it into, “He wore a loose-fitting purple frock coat, worn over top.”"

Another thing you are right about. Hmm... perhaps I'll fix it.
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15-Jun-2013 15:24:08

Jul

2020

Serene End

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"Well, I have to criticize about something! Nonetheless, human beings, regardless if they live in fantasy or reality, would surely be aware of their physicality and biomechanics. If you have knights, they should act and fight like knights, because they come from historicity."

As I'm sure they are. If we are referring to humans fighting against the resistance, some might even allow themselves to get killed due entirely to the fact that... well, they're fighting against something that could potentially make their family's lives better. Most humans placed upon the battlefield weren't exactly raised to fight. They were slaves when they were young, and when they got old enough they were thrown onto the battlefield with sword in hand.

As I've said, I'll keep your thoughts in mind with the next fight. That should be around Chapter 12.

"I have a great love for weapons and armour, two subjects full of misconceptions especially in the fantasy department. "

I can see that. xD But anyway, I think I'll give it a go perhaps when I'm working on something... more serious. Right now, allow me to settle down and write however it is that I feel like writing. If things aren't accurate then they aren't accurate. The swordplay will improve, I'll try to incorporate more "realistic" battling, seeing if I like it, and go on from there.

" But there is no mention how the assassination took place, maybe by poisoning. What I had in mind was a child attacking an adult with a dagger and killing him in a fight, but that would be assumption form ignorance. "

Exactly. I never did specify, perhaps because I figured people could figure that on their own. See, I let people use their imagination! I'm not always overly describing things!

Besides, even children can be pretty hardened -- even if they get a good kick in the face.
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15-Jun-2013 15:36:23 - Last edited on 15-Jun-2013 16:33:01 by Serene End

Jul

2020

Serene End

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"I must have a stale sense of humour."

I'm not exactly one for humor. So, whatever you might find amusing or funny that is not meant to be funny, I'll take as mockery.

"Caligula, treated as a god, was nonetheless killed by his own bodyguard."

This is probably the one that'll I'll take it in. Most of the others were about men who were very revered but nevertheless were not treated as like this. The gods dream of a perfect world in which they can live freely and peacefully. This is of course a dream that we all wish to aspire. But most of the gods choose to praise and worship their king simply because they realize that he is the closest to grasping that world.

Hmm... perhaps with a future part I'll do something similar. No, by the way, I haven't gotten the entirety of the plot in my head. As I've stated a loooong time ago, I'm the type of person who thinks and comes up with things during the middle of my writing and go on from there. I have several major events in my head but nothing to place in between.

"Neo from the Matrix wears a cassock? I did*’t know that. I was never good at watching movies."

Yep, a single-breasted one if I'm not mistaken. And why does Jagex decide to censor "didn't" for you? xD That's twice now!

"Now that I think about it, if many peasants are rebelling, where would the nobles/gods get their food and supplies? Well, then again no-one needs to eat or drink in RuneScape."

Here you go again. Because I stated that I'm going by a RuneScape-esque sort of deal, you have the ability to say that. Of course they drink, have I not shown Balor drinking cups of tea enough? Perhaps I never showed anything like it because I figured the reader would assume. They have human slaves pick out their food whilst watching very carefully. And not many people are rebelling, just those who managed to escape their imprisonment.
The end

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15-Jun-2013 15:54:55

Jul

2020

Serene End

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"Malk? Milk? Malik? I did*’t know Malik was an actual name."

Yep, true facts! (Yes, I just said that.) And awmg, three times now. xD

"““They slammed the door behind them as they ran for the hills.**
I then said, “Lol, that made me laugh.”
Yes, it did make me laugh, there was no sarcasm there. I did laugh aloud, too."

Hooray! ^^

"“You see something shocking and/or you get injured, your eyes widened do they not?" Yes, but considering the context of the story, rebellion and violence, I think they’d get accustomed to stuff like that."

Regardless of becoming hardened or not, they're still people with heart. I'm pretty accustomed to problems associated with depression and life constantly kicking me and my family down. Now, since we've gone through that often, does that mean we should be so accustomed to this that we should no longer feel sad or down when it happens? I think the fact that they still react to a shocking scene still makes them human.

"I said, ''-Balor laughs aloud, because Raphael’s sister tried to kill him.''
But Balor does not have a sister as you said, so I think I made a mistake here."

Woah, woah! If you've read through the whole thing, good. If not, scroll down. Raphael doesn't have a sister, yes. But Balor does. That would be Elena, who is revealed to be Balor's long-lost sister Lucia. Now I'm going to have to reread through the chapter just in case there is an accidental typo.

One thing I did forget to mention on my previous postings. The bells of Balor's pauldrons are meant to be small, similar to that which are found on a jester's attire. I do apologize for not specifying the exact size, maybe it was something that slipped my mind when I was writing his bio. xD
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15-Jun-2013 16:02:31 - Last edited on 15-Jun-2013 16:55:17 by Serene End

Jul

2020

Serene End

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Excellent! I'm glad my words actually made sense.

Trust me, that's why I love criticism. It's an enjoyable time regardless if I might disagree or not. To see or experience what one dislikes is a way to develop, especially if you're someone who creates. Positive reviews are good, it gives you a little self-confidence in knowing that at least one person concurs with how it is that you write. But criticism sends you back down from that cloud nine and keeps you humble.

I used to be a very immature and rather dim child myself. But some things occurred in my life that made me develop and grow up. And listening and accepting criticism is no different. Yours is not that floorless kind of criticism, it's the kind that made me pause and really think for a bit. So, again... thank you for keeping me humble.

"For example, did it ever cross your mind that there were medieval tanks, bladed grenades, and diving suits? It sounds silly, but these three things are all fact used in medieval Europe, revealed in manuscripts and manuals of the day."

Ha, no actually. xD I was however thinking about perhaps incorporating a little history off of the Knights Templar into something. You yourself are a big fan of swords and the like. I myself are a big fan of the Templars.

Hmm... perhaps I'll look into those videos when I have the time. Or perhaps I'll stick to what I've got. I don't know quite yet. And I'm fully aware of the lifelessness of the forum. But as I've said, I'm merely finishing some unfinished business. And it was not you who offered me the desire to rework some things, it was myself. Hopefully the Forums do come back to life, rising from this dull and silent place. Though seeing people like yourself hanging around gives me hope. xD

But anyway, thank you once again. I truly do appreciate it!

…,.»·•º°°º•·«.,…,.•*´¨¨†hë ènd îš ønlÿ †hè ßègïnnïng,…,„.«•*¨`*•.
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15-Jun-2013 16:30:05