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12-Mar-2010 02:44:59 - Last edited on 12-Mar-2010 02:45:09 by Yrolg

It looks good so far!
Feliz

12-Mar-2010 03:30:50

Thanks. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to post them.

12-Mar-2010 03:45:43

Hello Yrolg
I will regularly pop by this thread- thank you so much for creating a thread of this nature (I promise not to post a poem a day too)
I wrote the poem below very quickly to provide me with some inspiration for the AOG Story that I entered a few days ago so it might be somewhat topical to post it now I am also using it as the basis of a silly competition I am holding over in the Event Community....

“The Responsibility (Part Two)”
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

I am the Man who sends the troops,
When it shall come to end the world.
I am the Man who speaks the Truth-
From dusk til dawn until it comes.
I am the Man who preaches still
Across the land from him to you.
I am the Man who was then told-
Not to covet what I hold,
As innocence then lingers still
And in this world I learn to kill.
I am the Man who cuts the trees
(To carry troops when orders come)
Such stormy tides in leafy seas,
Until Zamorak’s Will is done.
I am the Man who forges steel-
That he must bear when orders come
Where everything is hate to love
The fatal kiss from Him above.
I am the One who plays the game,
Who teaches in Zamorak’s name,
That guarantees that death shall come
Until the final war is won
And thus the edicts are undone
Chaos reigns- the dying sun
Ends the day as life continues on
The Guillotine of death’s beating drum.
Who is the one behind it all?
Who is the one responsible?

12-Mar-2010 19:27:06 - Last edited on 12-Mar-2010 19:29:30 by Amoraten

Thanks for posting.
In regards to your poem, I think that I'd standardize stanza size, since the basic ideas flow rather broadly. I'd also focus on keeping a consistent rhythm. Making sure that syllabic relations are consistent is a difficult but necessary task.
If you need further advice, just post.

12-Mar-2010 21:14:46

As a rule I normally only read poems that begin with "There once was a man from Nantucket"
I'm not a big poetry person, but I do wish I was better at it. The few times I've had to write poetry for school, I just draw a complete blank and am just unable to write anything. I'm not really an emotional guy (in fact I'm basically the opposite) and I just can't seem to get myself into the poetry state of mind. I'll read these poems in class about such beautiful imagery about something as simple at a flower, but I just seem completely incapable of doing anything like that or just thinking of things in such a poetic way

12-Mar-2010 21:37:43

12-Mar-2010 22:03:47

Thank you very much Yrolg The above was written in ten minutes or so- not a literary masterpiece based on a tongue in cheek view of "The Responsibility" by Peter Appleton. I was trying to quickly capture the momentum of the original- again little thought was given to the same, but my more serious musings take much longer to formulate.
I am very fond of iambic pentameter for my poetry in a usual sense, but I am adapting an old poem of mine to post here so that it is Runescape based along the lines of:
"To all else I am blind
Turning death into this art
As the pounding in my mind
Beats in rhythm with my heart" etc etc
The original was nearly seven thousand words long so I must use some editorial eloquence to trim it!
Many thanks

13-Mar-2010 00:19:13

13-Mar-2010 01:34:52

13-Mar-2010 01:36:34