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Crocefisso

Crocefisso

Posts: 1,385 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
DIREFOX:
Please add punctuation. There is little poetic merit for a piece which is not properly punctuated; sadly, yours isn't. An unpunctuated poem is worse than an unpunctuated sentence - the flow sounds simply awful.
What you've got is a solid start, but it NEEDS punctuation.

21-May-2010 20:10:53 - Last edited on 22-May-2010 16:05:19 by Crocefisso

[#42TUANKWS]

[#42TUANKWS]

Posts: 612 Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
First poem, its probably bad, so i don't mid if you say so :P EDIT: hate this, changing whole thing about it :P
~Symbols~
So many symbols,
It gives me such pain,
To think what it means,
When I see the rain.
Posiibly is it giving life?
Or emphazing death?
Is it making plants grow,
Or marking eternal rest?
A rose,
Is it love?
Or something else I should know?
I suppose this is it,
The end of my show,
Or THE END means begining?
How are we supposed to know for sure??

21-May-2010 22:00:10 - Last edited on 21-May-2010 22:15:25 by [#42TUANKWS]

SYN Sabre

SYN Sabre

Posts: 2,924 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Nice^ I liked it.
~~~~~Love~~~~~
I think about love
what it really means.
To think about love
is it just a dream?
Love is a miracle,
fragile and weak.
But love is always
just as it seems.
Love sometimes goes
everything does that.
But just remember.
that love will come back.

Just thought of it, not very good I think, I'm not really the "Emotianal" type.

21-May-2010 23:11:22 - Last edited on 21-May-2010 23:11:47 by SYN Sabre

Kotane

Kotane

Posts: 7,110 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I actually disagree Croce. Sometimes, depending on the subject, I don't think punctation is always needed. Usually, punctuation is used to signify ending of thought or to tie in another thought. Since DIREFOX's poem has no need to do either, I personally think it doesn't need to be changed. Free verse doesn't have to be confined to the normal rules of grammar.

22-May-2010 01:37:19

[#42TUANKWS]

[#42TUANKWS]

Posts: 612 Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
^Cool poem :)
So I've had like, a nature photography obbsession this week (lol) so i'll write about some of the stuff I shot
*^~Snapdragons~^*
They're flowers,
so why such a feirce name?
I geuss my not-knowing,
brings a little shame.
They aren't that mean
They smell pretty nice :) But maybe, JUST maybe,
I could offer advice.
Keep on your toes,
'cause nobody knows
How this mysterious hole
Was put in my hose,
when I left it by the snapdragons.
Like it? :P

22-May-2010 14:21:40 - Last edited on 22-May-2010 14:22:51 by [#42TUANKWS]

Crocefisso

Crocefisso

Posts: 1,385 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
@ MechaSoul: True, but poems are made to be read aloud, and, if it's going to make any sense whatsoever, punctuation is an absolute must.
'The dog beside the remnants of a fire sat down and gazed wearily at the traveller who was stepping through the door he was tall dark and a little shifty looking.'
-That sentence did not make much sense, did it? If I add punctuation, I think you'll find it makes much more sense.
'The dog, beside the remnants of a fire, sat down and gazed wearily at the traveller who was stepping through the door; he was tall, dark and a little shifty looking.'
Punctuation cannot, no matter how free the verse, be avoided.

22-May-2010 16:10:23 - Last edited on 22-May-2010 16:10:39 by Crocefisso

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