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Polysyndeton is a wonderful tool for poets. The extra "and" can make a great asset when you're short a syllable or feel you need something else to emphasize. I strongly dislike asyndeta because I think a comma can in no way replace the necessary conjunctions. Zeugma is good to make more complicated phrases that are heavy in metaphor. Parallelism is basically any simile or metaphor you want it to be; you can use it multifarious ways.
If you have any specific questions, please be sure to ask them. Sorry this was a rather generic answer.
If you have any specific questions, please be sure to ask them. Sorry this was a rather generic answer.
29-Apr-2010 03:16:49
You repeat words a bit too much for my liking, but you utilized a few of the techniques. You should definitely practise a bit more, though.
30-Apr-2010 03:42:01
I'll be sure to bookmark and read it later, Home.
By the way, if you've written any other poems since you last submitted War Poem then I'd love to take a look.
By the way, if you've written any other poems since you last submitted War Poem then I'd love to take a look.
01-May-2010 11:17:10
Well, I was entirely bored, just sitting at home. When this poem came to me, I've never written poetry before, only stories; and don't have much of an intention for improving.
But I wanted to know what you all thought!
Bright blue apple on a tree, guarded by a lizard.
Sandy-Sue takes a bite, and gets shot up to dreamland.
Billy-Bob soon has a go, munching on an apple.
Lizard slips and falls and tumbles, landing in a puddle.
Billy-Bob, who’s now quite wet, looks up at him in fear.
“Don’t you worry little boy, just come right over here.”
“If you want to go to heaven, then here’s what you must do.”
“Crawl deep into my stomach, I’ll soon send you through.”
Billy-Bob walks up to lizard, shivering all over.
Holds his breath and dives right in, now he’s covered in saliva.
Sandy-Sue, who’s quite the villain, was laughing at his pain.
‘Till Billy-Bob appeared behind her, and stabbed her in the brain.
Of course, if you think I'm mentally unstable, you're most likely right. Although I think it's periodic, as it comes with the ebb and flow of my boredom.
But I wanted to know what you all thought!
Bright blue apple on a tree, guarded by a lizard.
Sandy-Sue takes a bite, and gets shot up to dreamland.
Billy-Bob soon has a go, munching on an apple.
Lizard slips and falls and tumbles, landing in a puddle.
Billy-Bob, who’s now quite wet, looks up at him in fear.
“Don’t you worry little boy, just come right over here.”
“If you want to go to heaven, then here’s what you must do.”
“Crawl deep into my stomach, I’ll soon send you through.”
Billy-Bob walks up to lizard, shivering all over.
Holds his breath and dives right in, now he’s covered in saliva.
Sandy-Sue, who’s quite the villain, was laughing at his pain.
‘Till Billy-Bob appeared behind her, and stabbed her in the brain.
Of course, if you think I'm mentally unstable, you're most likely right. Although I think it's periodic, as it comes with the ebb and flow of my boredom.
02-May-2010 13:13:41 - Last edited on 02-May-2010 13:17:29 by Eri Vi
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