you'll learn about that in just a few minutes
Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
13-Aug-2014 20:58:35
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Pincho the Hermit Crab Part II
Quick find code: 49-50-420-65204713
Part 2
Shelly: Herman, me need you to stay down at the market, Mister Pinch, me want you to be in the market with him.
Mister Clark: b-but-
Shelly: No 'buts'! I need to do this myself.
*Guard hermit crabs come down the hill from the castle*
Guard hermit crab: Your Pinchiness, me is Pinchi Von Hermitcrabbington III. By family tradition, me serve as Pinchliam's guard captain. King Pinchliam has learned of your presence and requests an audience with you.
Shelly: Thank you! now, can you tell me why every hermit crab here is missing their shells?
Pinchi: Pinchliam, in his wisdom, has confiscated every shell from every hermit crab in Pinchtowne
*back to Herman*
Guard hermit crab: HALT! Sir, me must ask you to give me your shell
Herman: Why?
guard hermit crab: one of Pinchliam's pinchtarded rules... pinchpinch
Herman: my shell was welded onto my back, when me was created
Guard: well that's a problem. Sir, me will have to take you to jail.
Herman:
*Guard hermit crab arrests Herman*
*back to Shelly:*
Shelly: do me have to give you my shell?
Pinchi: that would be uncivil, you are hermit crab royalty!
Shelly: Wouldn't that be defying Pinchliam, though?
Pinchi: crap! you are right, me no look at you when you change. *turns around*
*Shelly climbs out of her shell and puts on her royal dress robes*
Shelly: Ok you can turn around.
Pinchi*faces shelly* Ok now follow Pinchi
*two hours of climbing up stairs later*
Shelly: *sees an ornate castle made of hardened black sand*
Pinchi: Go on in, Pinchliam is waiting
* Shelly enters the doorway*
Hermit crab royal announcer: *up on balcony* And now we bear witness to her Pinchiness, Queen Shelly I, of Shell City.. pinchpinch
*Shelly climbs up a few more stairs*
Pinchliam: *starts devouring grapes* *talks with his mouth full*
Muffled Pinchliam's voice: So. what brings you to Pinchliam's royal Palace, queen Shelly?? Is you here to usurp hermit crab's throne rule in Pinchliam's stead? Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Shelly: Herman, me need you to stay down at the market, Mister Pinch, me want you to be in the market with him.
Mister Clark: b-but-
Shelly: No 'buts'! I need to do this myself.
*Guard hermit crabs come down the hill from the castle*
Guard hermit crab: Your Pinchiness, me is Pinchi Von Hermitcrabbington III. By family tradition, me serve as Pinchliam's guard captain. King Pinchliam has learned of your presence and requests an audience with you.
Shelly: Thank you! now, can you tell me why every hermit crab here is missing their shells?
Pinchi: Pinchliam, in his wisdom, has confiscated every shell from every hermit crab in Pinchtowne
*back to Herman*
Guard hermit crab: HALT! Sir, me must ask you to give me your shell
Herman: Why?
guard hermit crab: one of Pinchliam's pinchtarded rules... pinchpinch
Herman: my shell was welded onto my back, when me was created
Guard: well that's a problem. Sir, me will have to take you to jail.
Herman:
*Guard hermit crab arrests Herman*
*back to Shelly:*
Shelly: do me have to give you my shell?
Pinchi: that would be uncivil, you are hermit crab royalty!
Shelly: Wouldn't that be defying Pinchliam, though?
Pinchi: crap! you are right, me no look at you when you change. *turns around*
*Shelly climbs out of her shell and puts on her royal dress robes*
Shelly: Ok you can turn around.
Pinchi*faces shelly* Ok now follow Pinchi
*two hours of climbing up stairs later*
Shelly: *sees an ornate castle made of hardened black sand*
Pinchi: Go on in, Pinchliam is waiting
* Shelly enters the doorway*
Hermit crab royal announcer: *up on balcony* And now we bear witness to her Pinchiness, Queen Shelly I, of Shell City.. pinchpinch
*Shelly climbs up a few more stairs*
Pinchliam: *starts devouring grapes* *talks with his mouth full*
Muffled Pinchliam's voice: So. what brings you to Pinchliam's royal Palace, queen Shelly?? Is you here to usurp hermit crab's throne rule in Pinchliam's stead? Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
13-Aug-2014 21:29:10
Sorry, was away for the week
And what kind of hermit crab is there without a shell? Heh! Those giant Coconut Crabs! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
And what kind of hermit crab is there without a shell? Heh! Those giant Coconut Crabs! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
19-Aug-2014 02:11:23
No coconut crabs yet. However, you've just given me an idea for a new character.
Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
23-Aug-2014 21:46:19
Pinchliam: is you here to turn my guards against hermit crab??
Shelly: no...
Pinchliam: is you here to start an armed rebellion?
Shelly: If me were here to do that, then me wouldn't be here telling you that me was.
Pinchliam: Aha! So you admit it?!
Shelly: No you imbecile! me here to warn you that your ramshackle town is in danger.
Pinchliam: The town is always in danger. Me, however is quite safe up here... hehe
Pinchi: Pinchliam, Your pinchiness, This is not the time for petty arrogance and selfishness. at least let her tell her story.
Shelly: Thank you, Sir Pinchi, My tale is quite long, my story, unbelievable, my plea unmistakable. By now, you know of Pincho's exploits, especially in pinching that pompous Duke of Lumbridge.
Pinchliam: yeah, didn't he go through the Forest of Doom?
Shelly: yes, and well he and Pinchy found both the Eclipse Shell and found zombie hermit crabs.
Pinchliam: zombie hermit crabs no exist.
Shelly: silence.. me not done. As me was saying, Zombie hermit crabs have been found. Like something out of a nightmare, they've been following him ever since.
Pinchliam: And
Shelly: you no seem to understand- they attacked Pinchville, overran Shell City and are on their way here.
Pinchliam: really? D:
Shelly: yes...
Pinchi: her story may be unbelieveable, but as is often the case, when a madman tells unbelievable stories, they are usually right.
Shelly: me escaped Shell City, just barely, my armies were destroyed. Shell City has fallen.
Pinchliam: me have no trust for you, But me cannot turn a blind eye towards this issue, If your story rings true, and whatever shows up lays my town under siege, then you have my support.
Shelly: really?
Pinchi: Pinchliam has been aware of unfamiliar hermit crabs scouting out the town, every time me try to arrest one of them, they run back toward Shell City. It's why he is so paranoid lately
Pinchliam: Pinchi is correct, maybe this is why. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Shelly: no...
Pinchliam: is you here to start an armed rebellion?
Shelly: If me were here to do that, then me wouldn't be here telling you that me was.
Pinchliam: Aha! So you admit it?!
Shelly: No you imbecile! me here to warn you that your ramshackle town is in danger.
Pinchliam: The town is always in danger. Me, however is quite safe up here... hehe
Pinchi: Pinchliam, Your pinchiness, This is not the time for petty arrogance and selfishness. at least let her tell her story.
Shelly: Thank you, Sir Pinchi, My tale is quite long, my story, unbelievable, my plea unmistakable. By now, you know of Pincho's exploits, especially in pinching that pompous Duke of Lumbridge.
Pinchliam: yeah, didn't he go through the Forest of Doom?
Shelly: yes, and well he and Pinchy found both the Eclipse Shell and found zombie hermit crabs.
Pinchliam: zombie hermit crabs no exist.
Shelly: silence.. me not done. As me was saying, Zombie hermit crabs have been found. Like something out of a nightmare, they've been following him ever since.
Pinchliam: And
Shelly: you no seem to understand- they attacked Pinchville, overran Shell City and are on their way here.
Pinchliam: really? D:
Shelly: yes...
Pinchi: her story may be unbelieveable, but as is often the case, when a madman tells unbelievable stories, they are usually right.
Shelly: me escaped Shell City, just barely, my armies were destroyed. Shell City has fallen.
Pinchliam: me have no trust for you, But me cannot turn a blind eye towards this issue, If your story rings true, and whatever shows up lays my town under siege, then you have my support.
Shelly: really?
Pinchi: Pinchliam has been aware of unfamiliar hermit crabs scouting out the town, every time me try to arrest one of them, they run back toward Shell City. It's why he is so paranoid lately
Pinchliam: Pinchi is correct, maybe this is why. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
23-Aug-2014 22:13:56
Pinchliam: Pinchi, me want every hermit crab man, woman, and child trained for hermit crab siege warfare. me want them equipped for battle, pregnant hermit crabs should head towards the Coconut Crab Village.
Shelly: is it wise to send children into a warzone, Pinchliam?
Pinchliam: well unfortunately, we're desperate, so we have to. Pinchtowne is nearly impenetrable, only one weakness exists. that will be heavily guarded
Shelly: they have catapults...
Pinchliam: Why do they have catapults?
Shelly: To launch troops over walls.
Pinchliam: wouldn't that kill them?
Shelly: the dead bodies act as a cushion for more troops to safely land.
Pinchliam: Dammit! Ok we'll make the catapults priority number one What else?
Shelly: they'll dig tunnels under the city, it's how Shell City was taken
Pinchliam: They won't be able to dig through the bedrock that supports the city, we're covered there
Shelly: they have suicide tunnel bombers that will attempt to blow up the support then.
Pinchliam: another priority, then, what else?
Shelly: they have gecko mounts that are always on the frontlines
Pinchliam: *gulp* g-geckos? D: whatever for?
Shelly: rushing the enemy, jumping the walls, moving troops.
Pinchliam: crap, crap, crapcrapcrap!
end of part 2 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Shelly: is it wise to send children into a warzone, Pinchliam?
Pinchliam: well unfortunately, we're desperate, so we have to. Pinchtowne is nearly impenetrable, only one weakness exists. that will be heavily guarded
Shelly: they have catapults...
Pinchliam: Why do they have catapults?
Shelly: To launch troops over walls.
Pinchliam: wouldn't that kill them?
Shelly: the dead bodies act as a cushion for more troops to safely land.
Pinchliam: Dammit! Ok we'll make the catapults priority number one What else?
Shelly: they'll dig tunnels under the city, it's how Shell City was taken
Pinchliam: They won't be able to dig through the bedrock that supports the city, we're covered there
Shelly: they have suicide tunnel bombers that will attempt to blow up the support then.
Pinchliam: another priority, then, what else?
Shelly: they have gecko mounts that are always on the frontlines
Pinchliam: *gulp* g-geckos? D: whatever for?
Shelly: rushing the enemy, jumping the walls, moving troops.
Pinchliam: crap, crap, crapcrapcrap!
end of part 2 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
23-Aug-2014 22:36:58
Part 3
*At Emo Muslim's house in Rimmington*
*emo muslim is telling Pinchatoshi what he must do to get Pinchanetto out of Scape Rune*
Emo Muslim: Wildman's Stone is famous for it's brief role in the capture and imprisonment of Zaros. But what is less known is it's connection to the Forgotten god of misery, deceit, murder, plague, lies, and the insane, Daurauphinsea. Now despite it's being called a "stone" it's actually a massive temple. Ironically, it is now dedicated to Zaros. It has one distinct feature: in the center of the temple, there is a massive book apparently carved out of stone. It is written in tribal hermit crab language. In the center are three deep holes, from which three stones are placed. I've been there many times, myself. Everything is well preserved It's located deep in The Desert, a hermit crab cannot make the journey alone. so you will have to come with me, Pinchatoshi.
Pinchatoshi: what, exactly is required of me?
Emo muslim: That is up to you to find out. Some things in life go beyond our understanding, for example how exactly is the magnitude of power for ancient magicks even feasible, under todays magickal theories, The power required to use these spells would be enough to destroy large chunks of the world. How were the mages of ancient times able to avoid riddling Gielinor with massive craters?
Pinchatoshi: Anything else?
Emo Muslim: Rumor has it that my evil counterpart, Mud916 survived the mauling by Jad. He is sure to try and impede our progress, His personal slave, Popo, and Popo's brother, Bobo, have taken his side, and have been acting strangely, almost as if they have lost their minds. It could be, however, that Daurauphinsea takes great pleasure from driving mortals insane. nothing is known about Daurauphinsea, or whether He is Male or Female.
Pinchatoshi: how is it that we know so little about our enemy?
Emo Muslim: I have no idea, Even to humans, knowledge is obscured to us, particularly the nature of the gods. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
*At Emo Muslim's house in Rimmington*
*emo muslim is telling Pinchatoshi what he must do to get Pinchanetto out of Scape Rune*
Emo Muslim: Wildman's Stone is famous for it's brief role in the capture and imprisonment of Zaros. But what is less known is it's connection to the Forgotten god of misery, deceit, murder, plague, lies, and the insane, Daurauphinsea. Now despite it's being called a "stone" it's actually a massive temple. Ironically, it is now dedicated to Zaros. It has one distinct feature: in the center of the temple, there is a massive book apparently carved out of stone. It is written in tribal hermit crab language. In the center are three deep holes, from which three stones are placed. I've been there many times, myself. Everything is well preserved It's located deep in The Desert, a hermit crab cannot make the journey alone. so you will have to come with me, Pinchatoshi.
Pinchatoshi: what, exactly is required of me?
Emo muslim: That is up to you to find out. Some things in life go beyond our understanding, for example how exactly is the magnitude of power for ancient magicks even feasible, under todays magickal theories, The power required to use these spells would be enough to destroy large chunks of the world. How were the mages of ancient times able to avoid riddling Gielinor with massive craters?
Pinchatoshi: Anything else?
Emo Muslim: Rumor has it that my evil counterpart, Mud916 survived the mauling by Jad. He is sure to try and impede our progress, His personal slave, Popo, and Popo's brother, Bobo, have taken his side, and have been acting strangely, almost as if they have lost their minds. It could be, however, that Daurauphinsea takes great pleasure from driving mortals insane. nothing is known about Daurauphinsea, or whether He is Male or Female.
Pinchatoshi: how is it that we know so little about our enemy?
Emo Muslim: I have no idea, Even to humans, knowledge is obscured to us, particularly the nature of the gods. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
27-Aug-2014 03:57:39
* At the ruins of Varrock*
Pincho: quickly, Let's get in there!
Pinchy: Oh don't tell me you want to save humans now
Pincho: Not really, but the King's words still resonate in my mind "Should you succeed, you will be remembered not for how many humans you've pinched, but rather how many you've saved"
Pinchy: You are getting tired of pinching humans...
Pincho: yes, me've pinched every possible human in every possible way and now look at the mess me've created, Because of this stupid competition between you and me, we've put the entire world in danger.
Pincho Jr.: Daddy, me finds somebody....
*Pincho walks up to the human*
*it's King Roald*
Pincho: um... hi?
King Roald: OH SHT IT'S YOU, PINCHO! Please don't pinch me, your pincher is the bane of those with high pain tolerance!
Pincho: me not here to pinch you, me here to get you to safety.
King Roald: Well this is certainly- Hey! how do I know you're telling the truth?
Pincho: You don't. You can carry on with the paranoid thought that I am here of all places just so me can pinch King Roald of Varrock for the 450,000,000th time, and yes, me've been counting, kind of have to when me compete with Pinchy here.
If me wanted to pinch you, me would have done so already... Pincho Jr., on the other hand, heh pinchpinch, he would pinch you without hesitating!
Roald: sht you are a father now, the human race will never know a day, when we aren't being pinched by hermit crabs! *Pincho Jr Pinches Roald's left earlobe off*
Roald: YAOOOOW!!!!!! *checks to see if he is bleeding*
Pincho Jr.: YAY THAT WAS FUN!!! *starts celebrating*
Pincho: JR!
PIncho Jr: daddy?
Pincho: behave, yourself
Pincho Jr.:
Pincho: What happened?
Roald: well zombies attacked in force! one Player got pinched by a zombie hermit crab. A level 266 mage by the name of Theresapartyinmypantsandyoureinvited used ancient magicks, killed all the lower leveled players, and turned them into zombies. The guard did not stand a chance, especially in PVP world Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Pincho: quickly, Let's get in there!
Pinchy: Oh don't tell me you want to save humans now
Pincho: Not really, but the King's words still resonate in my mind "Should you succeed, you will be remembered not for how many humans you've pinched, but rather how many you've saved"
Pinchy: You are getting tired of pinching humans...
Pincho: yes, me've pinched every possible human in every possible way and now look at the mess me've created, Because of this stupid competition between you and me, we've put the entire world in danger.
Pincho Jr.: Daddy, me finds somebody....
*Pincho walks up to the human*
*it's King Roald*
Pincho: um... hi?
King Roald: OH SHT IT'S YOU, PINCHO! Please don't pinch me, your pincher is the bane of those with high pain tolerance!
Pincho: me not here to pinch you, me here to get you to safety.
King Roald: Well this is certainly- Hey! how do I know you're telling the truth?
Pincho: You don't. You can carry on with the paranoid thought that I am here of all places just so me can pinch King Roald of Varrock for the 450,000,000th time, and yes, me've been counting, kind of have to when me compete with Pinchy here.
If me wanted to pinch you, me would have done so already... Pincho Jr., on the other hand, heh pinchpinch, he would pinch you without hesitating!
Roald: sht you are a father now, the human race will never know a day, when we aren't being pinched by hermit crabs! *Pincho Jr Pinches Roald's left earlobe off*
Roald: YAOOOOW!!!!!! *checks to see if he is bleeding*
Pincho Jr.: YAY THAT WAS FUN!!! *starts celebrating*
Pincho: JR!
PIncho Jr: daddy?
Pincho: behave, yourself
Pincho Jr.:
Pincho: What happened?
Roald: well zombies attacked in force! one Player got pinched by a zombie hermit crab. A level 266 mage by the name of Theresapartyinmypantsandyoureinvited used ancient magicks, killed all the lower leveled players, and turned them into zombies. The guard did not stand a chance, especially in PVP world Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
27-Aug-2014 04:26:34 - Last edited on 27-Aug-2014 04:35:32 by Pink 4 Twink
Pincho: well that's not a legal name...
Roald: apparently he knows someone in Jagex, who gave him a free pass to name himself whatever he wants. No character limit
Pincho: ohh
Roald: Pincho: feel free to come inside my castle, or what's left of it, just leave your demon child here * stares at Pincho Jr.*
Pincho Jr.: Ouggh
Pincho: Jad me entrusting you to keep Jr. safe
Jad: you can count on Jad! on my honor I will-woah * sees a beautiful Troll female by the name of Jambalaya*
Jad: damn I'm going to ruin her!
*Rokk Tarr appears*
Rokk Tarr: she's beautiful
Pincho: *sigh* he's only a teenager, he's only a teenager, he's only a teenager.
Jad: Jr. stay here, while Jad checks out this beautiful laday* voice cracks* *pimple explodes*
Jad: Bandos! THIS IS NOT FUNNY! *voice cracks again*
Bandos: well unfortunately I am not in control of bodily functions!
Pincho Jr.: Beautiful is a rather strong word.... especially for her... bleh pinchpinch
Rokk Tarr: Rokk Tarr claims this woman!
Jad: Oh Hell no you don't Rokk Tarr, She's mine!
Rokk Tarr: I don't see your name on her!
Jad: *hits Rokk Tarr in the face with his club
Rokk Tarr: *gets out his giant hammer and crushes Jad with it*
Jad: *Punches Rokk Tarr in the nuts*
Rokk Tarr: fires a cannon at Jad but misses him and hits* the city wall
Jad: Hey no weapons allowed! *fires a cannon at Rokk Tarr* *misses and hits the guard tower*
Jambalaya: Ok, you two have my attention, this violence must end* puts her hands on Jad and Rokk Tarr to try and calm them down*
*Jad and Rokk Tarr faint*
Jambalaya: *Looks at Pincho Jr.* do they always fight like this?
Pincho Jr.: No this is the first time they've fought. You just have the misfortune to be their first love interest.
Jambalaya: Jambalaya swears, every male troll that sees me falls in love with me. It's a curse.
Pincho Jr.: yeah? so is being this small
Jambalaya: I hear you
Pincho Jr.: what are you doing here? Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Roald: apparently he knows someone in Jagex, who gave him a free pass to name himself whatever he wants. No character limit
Pincho: ohh
Roald: Pincho: feel free to come inside my castle, or what's left of it, just leave your demon child here * stares at Pincho Jr.*
Pincho Jr.: Ouggh
Pincho: Jad me entrusting you to keep Jr. safe
Jad: you can count on Jad! on my honor I will-woah * sees a beautiful Troll female by the name of Jambalaya*
Jad: damn I'm going to ruin her!
*Rokk Tarr appears*
Rokk Tarr: she's beautiful
Pincho: *sigh* he's only a teenager, he's only a teenager, he's only a teenager.
Jad: Jr. stay here, while Jad checks out this beautiful laday* voice cracks* *pimple explodes*
Jad: Bandos! THIS IS NOT FUNNY! *voice cracks again*
Bandos: well unfortunately I am not in control of bodily functions!
Pincho Jr.: Beautiful is a rather strong word.... especially for her... bleh pinchpinch
Rokk Tarr: Rokk Tarr claims this woman!
Jad: Oh Hell no you don't Rokk Tarr, She's mine!
Rokk Tarr: I don't see your name on her!
Jad: *hits Rokk Tarr in the face with his club
Rokk Tarr: *gets out his giant hammer and crushes Jad with it*
Jad: *Punches Rokk Tarr in the nuts*
Rokk Tarr: fires a cannon at Jad but misses him and hits* the city wall
Jad: Hey no weapons allowed! *fires a cannon at Rokk Tarr* *misses and hits the guard tower*
Jambalaya: Ok, you two have my attention, this violence must end* puts her hands on Jad and Rokk Tarr to try and calm them down*
*Jad and Rokk Tarr faint*
Jambalaya: *Looks at Pincho Jr.* do they always fight like this?
Pincho Jr.: No this is the first time they've fought. You just have the misfortune to be their first love interest.
Jambalaya: Jambalaya swears, every male troll that sees me falls in love with me. It's a curse.
Pincho Jr.: yeah? so is being this small
Jambalaya: I hear you
Pincho Jr.: what are you doing here? Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
27-Aug-2014 05:04:21
Jambalaya: well as it turns out, I Jambalaya was going to Pinchville to deliver this club to a mister um Jad!
Pincho Jr: that's the troll without the delivery outfit on over there.
Jambalaya: You're kidding...
Pincho Jr,: no me not
Jambalaya: Jambalaya also has word from village chief: he wishes to invite Jad back to his village
*Jad jumps up*
Jad: Seriously? After all this, I get to return home
Jambalaya: yep, but for reasons that are not good, Zombie hermit crabs have been seen trying to climb the walls of the village. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
Pincho Jr: that's the troll without the delivery outfit on over there.
Jambalaya: You're kidding...
Pincho Jr,: no me not
Jambalaya: Jambalaya also has word from village chief: he wishes to invite Jad back to his village
*Jad jumps up*
Jad: Seriously? After all this, I get to return home
Jambalaya: yep, but for reasons that are not good, Zombie hermit crabs have been seen trying to climb the walls of the village. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!
27-Aug-2014 05:11:01
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