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Hermit crab child: YAY!! Come Pinchalina, Safety at last!
Seagull: NOPE! cheepcheep No safety for you!!! *gets pinched by a coconut crab*
Seagull: Ow ow ow owowowowowowo YAAAOU!!!! Let me go you stupid giant crab
Kokon: you picked the wrong time and place to go hunting, you stupid bird.
Seagull: Let me go.. I promise to go away...
Kokon: *Whispers to the bird* come back tonight while the hermit crabs are sleeping. We'll have them sleep outdoors...
Seagull: OOOH!!! deception.... me like cheepcheep...
*Kokon lets the Seagull go*
*Kokon turns around to find Pinchalina right behind him*
Kokon: Um... What are you doing behind me?
Pinchalina: Me heard what you said.
Kokon: Oh, um, that was, like, so totally a lie.
Pinchalina: here's a tip: Even the tiniest hermit crab child knows a lie when she hears one. Whatever your reasons, you do no one a service by treachery. What happened in the past should stay in the past...
Kokon: Tell me, then. How would you deal with ten thousand refugees suddenly appearing in your village?
Pinchalina: Me would feed them all, no matter the cost.
Kokon: That is called idealism, young one. A child would not know how to run a city, even if she tried. you would make mistakes no matter what your intentions
Pinchalina: it's just feeding refugees, there's plenty of food in the world. We could have a teem collect a lot of food and bring it back here.
Kokon: If it were that simple, there wouldn't be wars over food or other resources, suffering would be a thing of the past, and crime would be nonexistent. Idealism brings ruin. I for one worry about the crime that will arise from letting you in. Dispite what you may think, we cannot let you stay for long.
Pinchalina: why not?
Kokon: because we won't have enough to feed all of you, crime will become worse than the last time we had hermit crab refugees. I understand what the Elder is doing, but Koko is wrong here. letting you in will only pit us against you.
end of part 3 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

19-Oct-2014 00:29:53 - Last edited on 04-Nov-2014 20:53:51 by Pink 4 Twink

01-Nov-2014 06:07:33

Part 4
Koko: Welcome hermit crabs one and all, welcome to a village that cannot fall. A pleasant place, this village be, For all who worship this coconut tree
Hermit Crab: Art we safe from the Zombie horde? Art we safe amongst the crabs we hast warred? We came from our cities, one and all, for we have watched our cities crumble and fall.
Koko: Safe art thou, in this village. The walls are tall and cannot be pillaged. Only watcheth outeth fore** the birds, and watch out for whereth they shooteth their turds.
Let Koko introduce you to some Characters who will tendeth your needs, or perhaps you are in want of seaweed?
Hermit Crab: Yummy, me like seaweed, me hungry me tired, me thirsty me need.
Koko: This be Kokabella, Tender of Thee, She will findeth shells and serveth thee. And this be Kokaletto, tender of the tree, Quiteth youngeth and strongeth and goodeth he be, and wiser and tough as an owl he be, he will do his best to feedeth thee. And this is Kokamoshi, finder of food, she shall help you, and she shan't be rude. Taketh a moment to looketh around, this village haveth wonders and secrets unfound. All we ask is that wary you be, and stay away from the Coconut God's Tree. The other Coconut Crabs, unhappy they'll be, especially if they catch you stealiing from me. The tree doth feedeth we. Keep you, we shall alive from thirst or starvation, all we ask is a form of compensation. Me must go rest talking to you be quite a test. Have fun, be safe, don't run amok, have fun be safe, you are not ******.
end of part 4 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

04-Nov-2014 20:46:38 - Last edited on 04-Nov-2014 20:48:40 by Pink 4 Twink

07-Nov-2014 03:49:41

*Inside Varrock castle ruins: King Roald's bedroom*
*Bedroom is ransacked and dirty*
King Roald: *sigh* dammit, this place has seen better days...
Pincho: Pinchville looks worse than this...
King Roald: What was any of this for?
Pincho: no idea, something about the rise of a dead god, methinks. me no pay attention to Pinchanetto, he tends to chatter quite a bit.
King Roald: well here is as good of a place as any.
Pincho: If you no mind me advising you on this, you need help, the Horde is going unchecked in Gielenor, soon everything will be zombified, even the frackin veg*tables.
*The queen comes in*
The queen: Well, That's just downright unacceptable, I don't want zombie cabbages.
Pincho: If you could convince Lumbridge, Falidor, and Taverly to join forces, you could keep the horde in check, until, me find solution.
King Roald: and why can't you convince them?
Pincho: um, me kind of, um pinched them and their families, they hate me.
King Roald: Most humans do. we tend to remember pain.
Pincho: sorry.
King Roald: I can't leave, now, not with the Phoenix and that other gang going unchecked in their bases of operations, I have to keep some semblence of order.
Pincho: and if one, um particularly volitile, angry, troll going through pubertee could help out...?
King Roald: then we would be in buisiness.
Pincho: King Roald, you've got yourself a deal!
end of part whatever... Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

30-Nov-2014 16:15:52

30-Dec-2014 06:39:27

It's kk. I've been having a lot of crap going on as well, with my flunking out of college, my depression, and things like that, so I havnt been posting anything. this is the first post I've done in weeks. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

11-Jan-2015 00:25:55

Part 6: There is Only One Jad!
Pincho: Okay, Jad. so me has a humble request for you: King Roald and me have agreed on a summit of sorts with Lumbridge. And possibly Falidor and Rimmington. However, If he left now, there would be no semblance of order. so can you maybe crush the pinchers in the Phoenix and, well that other gang in the warehouse? the one that must remain unnamed or bad things happen pinchpinch?
Jad: Oh, you mean the Black Arm Gang?
Pincho: Yep! That's the one! You've just doomed us, Jad!
Jad: All in a days work. trololo.
*Dragon swoops down and cooks Pinchy alive with dragon fire.*
*Pinchy respawns where he dies*
Pinchy: *sniff sniff* mmm smells like barbecue shrimp, pinchpinch *turns to his former corpse* *Eats his corpse* mmmm... smokey!
Jad: Fear not for you have called upon the right Troll for the job! *readies club and runs towards the Phoenix hideout screaming " FOR THE CHEESE!!!!*
Jad: *breaks down Phoenix Gang front door* *smashes a hole large enough for him to fit in*
Phoenix gang member: hey, you aren't supposed to be here! *Jad rips out the Gangster's spine before he can ready his crossbow*
Phoenix gang member 2: what's going on here?
*Jad is hidden in a bedroom and sneaks out as soon as the gang member leaves, apparently unaware of the mutilated corpse in front of him* *sneaks up be find him* * Jad bludgeons the gang member to death with his club and makes his way into the last room *Jad is knocked out by another troll
*6 hours later
*back above ground*
Pincho: hmm Jad's been away for a very long time.
Pincho Jr.: Maybe the Black Arm Gang got to him?
*sky starts raining burning puppies and frozen Mammoths over Varrock*
Pincho: JR!!!!!
* Pinchy is crushed by a frozen mammoth* *Pinchy respawns right next to the frozen mammoth
*Back underground*
Troll: Come on, wake up, Jad!
Jad: wha.... Who're you?
Troll: I'm you.
Jad: sorry I no comprehend.
Troll: I'm you.
Jad: There is only one Lord of the Trolls. And he does not share power! Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

11-Jan-2015 00:36:20 - Last edited on 11-Jan-2015 01:09:34 by Pink 4 Twink

Troll: * Steps out of the shadows*Well technically, I'm not you, but It's me, Your twin brother, Boulder! Muahahahahahaha!
Jad: Boulder!!!! Oh how that Name hath put rage in Jad's heart, Jad's nemesis, The one hat got Jad exiled from our village
Boulder: Nah, That was Broken Condom
Jad: Broken 'Condom was in Trollheim at the time of Jad's exile
Boulder: was he? or was he right under your nose this whole time?
Jad: ummm.
Boulder: Boulder asking you, Boulder doesn't know. In any event, that doesn't matter, cuz Boulder taking your place at Pincho's side *shoves Jad into a metal crate and magically suspends it in midair *takes Jad's Loin cloth and club and starts practicing how to speak how Jad speaks
Boulder: Jad SMASH!!! Dammit, That's an octave too high. ahem
Boulder: Jad SMASH!!! Close but not perfect, Pincho is a smart crab, he'll notice
Jad: You won't get away with this!
Boulder: oh but Boulder will Boulder always succeeds
Jad: Up until the point where you actually fail
Boulder: SHUT UP!
Boulder: Jad SMASH!!! Oh so close!!! Ahem. Jad SMASH!!! Perfect!
Boulder: now behave yourself
Boulder comes leaves the hideout and heads to the Gang That Must Not Be Named's headquarters
*Smashes the door*
Boss lady person: Halt this is Black Arm tur- *Boulder crushes her with Jad's club*
* Boulder starts hurling boulders at other gang members* kills the weapons expert up top*
*burns the Warehouse to the ground*
* Returns to Pincho*
Pincho: Jad, we thought you were killed
Boulder: Jad fought bravely and smashed thousands of the thieves, it was fun
*Rokk Tarr comes to check out the ass of the troll he thinks is Jad*
Rokk Tarr notices a scar on Jad's thigh that the real Jad doesn't have*
Rokk Tarr sneaks up behind Boulder and starts sniffing Boulder to see if the scent was correct, which it's not
Rokk Tarr: IMPOSTER! Pincho: This troll is an imposter! Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

11-Jan-2015 01:52:27 - Last edited on 11-Jan-2015 21:22:41 by Pink 4 Twink

13-Jan-2015 02:16:41 - Last edited on 13-Jan-2015 02:18:06 by Jimothey