Forums

The Last Dragon: Santhari

Quick find code: 49-50-292-62189500

Mean Bean567

Mean Bean567

Posts: 1,198 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sorry everyone that I have not had time to write a new chapter. I have been extremely busy carving to finish up a bunch of project before we have my family Christmas this Saturday. I am currently waiting on the glue to dry on a couple of my bases so after entering the new bios into my list I will write a new chapter. Thanks Fireheart449 for the feedback I will try to remember to do that and will go back and change the chapters that I can to be easier to read. Thanks for reading guys.

24-Jan-2011 03:18:11

Mean Bean567

Mean Bean567

Posts: 1,198 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 6
Through A Child's Eyes
Mark was on the wall again. He wasn't supposed to be there, but nowhere else in the city offered such a wonderful view, and there where no longer enough guards to watch even the inner wall everywhere. The city was mainly empty now anyways. It had been that way for as long as Mark could remember. He had been told by his mother that it hadn't always been that way but he wasn't sure he believed her.
Mark was almost of the age to begin his training. Once one of his friends began there training they weren't seen for at least a year and never played with him or the other kids again. They where all serious after they after their training had begun and where rarely seen even after they where allowed to leave the main city.
Suddenly Mark hear footsteps, not the metallic clank of a soldier's boots on stone but the soft wisp of slippers. Before Mark could move off the wall the people where upon him. It was Leader Niona and some of her advisors. She walked past him only focusing on him for a second. Abruptly
the wizard, and Mark pushed back trying to disappear into the stone wall.
The wizard only looked at him for a second but in that second it seamed like the wizard had heard Mark's every thought and had picked him apart. The wizard just walked on by Mark and Mark dashed off the other way vowing that this would be the last time he came up here, at least for awhile.
Trimen looked away from the boy. He seemed ready to jump out of his skin at the sight of the wizard. How Trimen wished that people would stop looking at him that way. The boy had stared at the Leader Nioma in open amazement, awe in his face, but horror at the sight of Trimen. How Trimen wished to go back to the age of his childhood. Of his innocence when he didn't even understand the uses of magic, ah if only he could look through the eyes of a child.

24-Jan-2011 03:44:06 - Last edited on 25-Jan-2011 02:43:10 by Mean Bean567

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hmm, I'm guessing all the characters will come together in the city of Bentarin and start an epic adventure. I also see you've started spacing your chapters. Thanks for that ^_^
Also, you may want to alter the word "sit" (in the last paragraph of Ch. 6) to sight. You have a few spelling errors here and there, but the "sit" one was the only really distracting one.

25-Jan-2011 02:12:43

Mean Bean567

Mean Bean567

Posts: 1,198 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 7
City of Bentarin
On the eight day just as the half elf had said they came upon the city of Bentarin. They had just topped a hill could see the city before them. It had obviously been split into two parts with a wall splitting the two. The part closer to him had a small wall guarding it and then the second part had a gigantic wall rising into the sky, making it impossible to see into that part of the city. One part alone would have made it an enormous city but with both together there was no word that Mathew could think of to describe it.
"If your done gawking we can head down now", came the half elf's voice mockingly. Indignantly, Mathew replied,"Now it isn't every day that I see such a grand and enormous place." "You get used to it. Now hurry up", came the reply, the half elf already heading down the hill. Mathew had to quickly grab his bag call the dragon and run to catch up.
The dragon really needed a name. He couldn't just keep thinking of it as the dragon. He would just have to think up a suitable name. The dragon had grown larger in the last few days, and eaten much, much more. It was now slightly larger then the largest dog he had ever seen, with its head just above his waist. It ravenous eating had caused him to have to hunt much more every time they stopped. Occasionally it would catch a rabbit or squirrel all by itself, but that wasn't enough to fill its monster of a stomach. The half elf had simply laughed when Mathew mentioned the dragons over eating and told him to stop complaining and get to hunting. This was one of the longest conversations they had had on the long journey.
As the began to creep closer to the city it began to look less and less grand. The wall protecting the city was broken in areas and dirty. Very few guards patrolled the wall with only one popping up occasionally.

25-Jan-2011 02:24:23 - Last edited on 26-Jan-2011 03:53:15 by Mean Bean567

Quick find code: 49-50-292-62189500 Back to Top