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Xereva

Xereva

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It is an action scene, but everything within it has to be instantly understandable. You can't have any pieces that make the reader pause and go 'huh?' The moment they stop reading at full speed, you lose them. Your other option is to just write a simpler scene where less is going on, and you won't have to explain the magic or divine intervention.

Chuk, I've had a busy night, I'll get 'round to your piece tomorrow.

30-Jan-2013 03:56:47

Azigarath

Azigarath

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I managed to get the time for this next assignment, however, my submission is quite a stretch, so please take your time going through it, Xen. I’ve decided to omit historical accuracy and in its place put some semi-climatic action. I will read others’ assignments hopefully tomorrow night and try to offer a little feedback myself*

**, since the name Verecundus is censored, I'll have to edit (shorten) it in the story.

=====



A Point Being Pointless





There once was a time when various knights, warriors, and free companies fought gratuitously even with the smallest of forces. The idea became so widespread that most of the known world was more or less a place where people fought. Aristocrats becoming adventures and highwaymen becoming knights were things not uncommon.

If a warrior was not part of a company, or did not have an allegiance with any liege, generally wandered about looking for duels with others like themselves, or searching for others of great skill and renown as to defeat them.

There was an impressive citadel, surrounded by red sand that stretched for many miles East, West and South, but to the North was the sea. Although one would assume a desert to be a hot place, this desert was very cold, and so cold that the sea was frozen and looked more like a glacier. Very far to the East, at the end of the frozen desert in that direction, were mountains huge and white, covered with snow. From the mountains to the citadel was an immense aqueduct, stretching on for several hundred miles to reach the citadel and at least two hundred feet tall, supported by many arches.

Beyond the West, along and throughout the steppes, were a series of small cities and castles, all of which were at war with one another. To the South, passed the desert, was a place of jungles and thunderstorms. It was not known what existed after all these distant locations, and the lands constant wars hindered exploration. The weather was often cloudy and foggy.

30-Jan-2013 05:36:51 - Last edited on 30-Jan-2013 05:50:06 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

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Walking towards the city solitarily was an armoured figure. The armour was of articulated plate, consisting of lames and sockets for where the body parts moved. The breastplate was of kasten*rust design, so that front protruded as a box for several inches, longest at the bottom, giving the breastplate a slanted surface. However, this armour was customized so that the breastplate was wedged at the front down its centre.

The armour had an attached skirt, made of many lames and hinged at the centre so that the knees could bend themselves and the skirt. Although this piece of strange, fictional armour added much defence, the figure walked nosily, the armour making repeat clicking sounds for every second of locomotion.

The sabatons (shoes made of horizontal layers of metal plates, ending in a toecap) were likewise made of lames, and could bend with the foot’s movement to some extent. The gauntlets were long, having cuffs up to the elbow, gadlings (spikes at the knuckles), but did not have individual fingers, but rather a curved plate to protect all the fingers, but the thumbs had their own defences.

The armour had articulated winged couters (armour that covers the elbow), and the poleyns (armour for the knees) were winged on the sides to protect the tendons. The pauldrons had curved upturned “wings” to protect the sides of the neck. As other armours that of sixteenth century Europe, the armour was made to be slim-waisted in appearance, so the bottom of the breastplate, where it connected to the faulds, was narrow.

The helmet was a great helm, the bottom of it having a concave curve from front to back so that, when worn, it was worn and supported by the pauldrons. The front and back of the helm was bolted onto the breastplate and backplate. The top of the helm was conical. For fear factor, or perhaps foolishness, the great helm was horned with solid steel horns, that curved upwards from above the sides of the eye sights.

30-Jan-2013 05:37:12

Azigarath

Azigarath

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The figure was equipped with a longsword sheathed at the side, and held a poleaxe in one hand. The poleaxe had a tall crescent-shaped axehead backed by a fluke, and topped with a long spearhead. The shaft was square-shaped steel, the butt narrowing into a long spike. All the armour and weapons was covered with small dents and scratches. The armour was held together by many hinges and rivets rather than straps and laces of earlier armour, as was every other armour of this world.

The figure approached the citadel, plated feet lifting frozen sand with each step, and entered the citadel. Inside, the citadel seemed to have gone through much fighting, but there was a minimal loss of life due to the availability of quality and quantity of steel. The fortified city had not been besieged; the vastness of the citadel was so great that there were many blocks and miniature castles and walled sections, each housing a wealthy family, so the city was, quite literally, at war with itself. There was a castle at the very centre of the city, where the monarchy and most powerful nobles resided, whom managed the regulation of war.

The figure walked through the streets, and on both sides of the road, regardless of where she was, were duelists and groups fighting one another, but none of them challenged the figure, for the figure’s armour showed rank.

Soon, the figure stumbled upon a fortified palace, unguarded and left unlocked, but there was no fear of theft. The figure waddled up the stairs and entered the palace. Inside was beautiful, full of gold and velvet, silver and damask, the floor made of white marble. There was a stairway at the centre, and four stairwells, one at each corner. The palace was lighted by chandeliers of crystal.

30-Jan-2013 05:37:32

Azigarath

Azigarath

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Immediately, several household retainers appeared, young men, all wholly bedecked in plate, rushing down the stairway to meet the figure, trying their best not to fall down, the weight of armour on their shoulders almost making them fall. They did their best to carry gilt trays and such down the stairs, and when they approached the figure, they poured a glass of alcoholic mineral water, floating with ice and tiny shiny metals, each retainer holding an essential piece for the completion of pouring the drink.

It was handed to the figure by the youngest man, who offered the goblet while leaning forward, but was unable to bow due to the armet being bolted to his armour. None of the retainers were even up to the figure’s shoulders, so the figure was well above six feet in height. The retainers were silent and remained still like metal statues.

“Vere.” The figure said, having a female voice, she sounding like a tower of metal beneath all that armour.

“I’m already here.” Someone else said, walking in from the flank, suddenly materialising from a blurry series of blue zaps, “Please take the goblet.” He continued.

He was taller than the figure, and bedecked in articulated plate armour obviously, of Gothic design, the boarding silvered. The sallet was of lobster-tail design, so the back of the helm had a “tail” made of many articulated lames. Vere pointed somewhere, and instantly one of the retainers ran off to fetch something.

“Is your sister, Aurora, here, Corona?” Vere asked.

“No.* the woman, Corona, replied.

“Last I saw you, you were leaving the other direction. Will you take the goblet?” he asked as another goblet was poured and the goblet passed to Vere.

“No.* She replied.

“Suit yourself.” Vere mumbled, lifting the goblet to drink from it, its rim striking his bevor and reminding him that it was on, so he put the goblet back on the tray; it was too much a hassle to remove one’s helm for a drink.

30-Jan-2013 05:37:49 - Last edited on 30-Jan-2013 05:46:03 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

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The retainer who left reappeared, carrying a greatsword with serrated edges and handing it to Vere.

“You know, it’s about time you showed up. I was about to go out and look for you, I had a hunch you were eager to see me again.” Vere said with his mumbled voice, so clearly he had been drinking.

He gripped his greatsword with one hand and looked at the shiny, clean blade, the chipped and nicked spots really making the blade tooth-like.

“Well, we’re not in an urban battlefield, and I’m drunk, so maybe you’ll beat me this time.” Vere said, “And you know the rules, so, yeah.”

“Yes, if I win, I take your place and all that belongs to you.” Corona said.

“And if you lose, you belong to me, as you have nothing and you are an errant. I think your sister is more busty than you, though.” Vere remarked.

“I’m a bit taller.” Corona said quickly.

“Yes. Are your buttons touching the inside of your armour?” Vere asked.

“What?” Corona exclaimed with a giggle, trying to stay depressed but was unable.

“Nothing. Ok! Let’s fight! Eat it, b****!” Vere yelled while spinning his sword around over his head, gripping it with both hands and throwing a wide swing, the sword slashing across the tray and sending the cups and jug flying about, the retainer holding the tray almost jumping out his armour.

The retainers retreated a dozen steps up the stairs to stay out of the way.

Corona held her poleaxe with both hands and got ready as mineral water splashed beside her. Vere recovered from his swing and lunged it at Corona, the tip glancing off the wedged breastplate breastplate and Corona swinging the axehead into the side of Vere’s helm, neither attack doing much as to even stagger the target.

30-Jan-2013 05:38:22 - Last edited on 30-Jan-2013 05:46:45 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

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Vere punched with his free left hand, striking the front of Corona’s helm, but nonetheless, she advanced, walking into Vere while leaning forward, her helm hitting his and she trying to push him over. Vere stepped so that he was sideways, putting his left knee against Corona’s right leg while grabbing her pauldron with his free hand and pulling her, so she fell over onto her hands and knees.

She rolled over, swinging her poleaxe sideways with one hand, but Vere did not drop down over her as to finish her off. Instead, he kept himself as upright as possible at all times.

“Women fall forward easily.” Vere remarked with a chuckle.

Corona picked herself up, pointing her poleaxe at Vere, but he managed to push-kick her in the helm and so she fell over again, not seeing the kick coming, and feeling her sheathed sword under herself, so it had slanted beneath her body from the side of the waist to below her lower back.

Corona picked herself up again, this time quickly, and stepped to Vere, jabbing the butt of her poelaxe at his helm, but he was not at all dismayed by the attacks. He stepped into the jabs, the butt pecking against the bevor, and he swung his sword at Corona at the same time she swung her poleaxe, both weapons striking against the side of the targeted helm, both combatants leaning to the sides from the impact for a moment.

Vere dropped the tip of his sword onto the floor, stepping forth while sliding it along the floor. Corona walked into Vere while jabbing the spearhead into his helm’s eye sight, but he rolled his shoulders and the spearhead was unable to poke him in the eyes or nose. He had slid his sword between Corona’s plated feet and moved the hilt forward so that the part of the blade closest to the handle was pressing against Corona’s left greave, and the rest of the blade was behind Corona’s right leg.

30-Jan-2013 05:38:42 - Last edited on 30-Jan-2013 05:47:25 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
He then pushed Corona with his free hand while bashing his helm and pauldron into her, the impact making her go backwards, and with the blade locked from the front of one leg to behind the other, Corona lost her footing and fell backwards flat onto her back.

Vere held his sword by the blade with his free hand and made a vertical overhand swing, the hilt and pommel slapping into Corona’s helm, bouncing off and leaving a few marks, but no dents. Corona lifted her poleaxe so that its butt was against the floor and the head pointing upwards; Vere did not notice and jumped atop Corona, his breastplate landing atop the lifted poleaxe, displacing his fall so that he fell to the side.

Corona rolled over him and hammered the butt of her poleaxe into his gorget with a two-handed grip, leaving a small dent, but no puncture. Corona lifted and dropped her poelaxe a few times, trying to poke it through the helm, but that did not happen. Vere sat up, wrapping his arms around Corona’s pauldrons (while still holding onto his sword with one hand) and pulling her down while head butting (that is, “helm-butting”) her in the front of the helmet.

Corona swung a couter (elbow) into Vere’s head and then tried to push him down, but he was too strong for her. He rolled over, but was unable to keep grip on his sword and so dropped it, and keeping his grapple around Corona’s pauldrons, stood up, picking Corona up and bear-hugging her while she kicked around, dropping her poleaxe due to her arms being locked against her armour.

Vere lifted Corona as high as he could (which was scarcely a few inches off the floor), turning to the side and falling down so that he slammed Corona into the floor, marble cracking, her and his breastplate bouncing off one another upon falling.

30-Jan-2013 05:39:25 - Last edited on 30-Jan-2013 05:48:06 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Vere then sent a few helm-butts into Corona’s helm, certainly not damaging the helm, but Corona still felt the blunt trauma, the force of impact and sound of it trapped within the cone of metal. She wanted to turn her head, but since her helm was bolted onto her armour, she could not move it to the sides, and neither could Vere.

Corona wriggled around, trying to free herself, so she and Vere sent head-butts into one another, though not much resulted from that. Vere grabbed the horns of Corona’s helm and held the helm down against the floor, and head-butted the helm a few more times. Corona lifted her arms to cover her helm, clubbing them into Vere. She ended up putting him in a headlock and tried to roll over, but that didn’t work as her sheathed sword was in the way, it sideways and the blade along the floor, so Corona tried to roll to the other direction, but that didn’t work either.

Vere was on his hands and knees, trying to get up, but regardless of how strong he was, he could not lift a harness-armoured woman off the floor, especially now that he was tired, body heat trapped within his armour, and Corona was also tired in much the same way.

Vere became irritated and placed his gauntleted hands on the sides of Corona’s helm and pushed her backwards, and then pushed her to the side until he was able to get up, as did Corona. Corona unsheathed her sword, holding it with both hands only at the handle, and delivered the strongest swings she could muster, hitting Vere in the helm, pauldron, vambrace and sometimes the breastplate.

30-Jan-2013 05:39:39 - Last edited on 30-Jan-2013 05:48:32 by Azigarath

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