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Zmaster07

Zmaster07

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do I edit it on the things i wrote or just rewrite it all again? like should i post all of the edited things or edit the things already there?
EDIT: should i also rewrite the whole thing as a varrock guard?

20-Jan-2013 03:00:01 - Last edited on 20-Jan-2013 03:02:23 by Zmaster07

Xereva

Xereva

Posts: 7,589 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I would recommend writing the whole thing again with my notes in mind. Don't bother switching the character to be a Varrock guard. You don't have to post the new version here if you don't want to, but I'll give you a post's worth of comments if you do.

On a side note, you should work on capitalization in your ordinary posts as well as your story posts. It helps with professionalism. For instance:

"Do I edit what I wrote, or rewrite it all again? Should I post all of my edits, or edit what I already have?

EDIT: Should I also rewrite it about a Varrock guard?"

20-Jan-2013 03:43:57

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Character Name / Nicknames / Aliases:
– Endoran, Plogror/Ender.
– Birth Date:
March 24, 1804 (26 years old).
– Place of Birth:
Bandit Camp.
– Residence:
His father is the ruler of the tribe, and treated like royalty, so Ender lives in the grand royal tent.
– Height:
5’3.
– Weight:
140.
– Clothing Styles:
He wears white, so that the sun’s rays are reflected, muslin robes that cover him from chest to thigh. A straw hat covers his face, protecting it from the sun’s rays. His thickly lidded circular glasses cover his eyes.

– Skin Color:
A very tanned dark browned that had been running in his family for decades, along his father’s line. The generations before him had spent their lives in the desert, and as a result their skin tanned.
– Hair Color:
Dirty Blond.
– Hair Length:
His hair travels from his scalp down to his forehead.
– Eye Color:
Greenish, Bluish, Gray.
– Handedness:
Right-handed.
– Jewelry:
The only jewelry Ender wears is a diamond bracelet that his mother left behind when she abandoned him and his father. Sometimes at night when Ender is feeling alone, he twirls the bracelet around in his fingers, and feels as if his mother is still there with him.
– Tattoos:
None.

– General Appearance:
Ender is usually seen as a lean twenty year old, freshly bathed and dressed, walking around the campsite hoping to be involved in something. He is a bit shy and is hesitant to approach the warriors that guard the camp. He knows that they will respond to him since he is royalty, but is uncomfortable talking to the ripped open-chested guys.
When stressed, he is seen with an uncut beard gnawing on his chin.
– Key Family / Relatives:
He has a few cousins, namely:
His uncle, his father’s brother, Santauo, and his wife, Katilia.
His father, Poletheus.
His uncle’s daughter, Ameliahe.

20-Jan-2013 15:08:38 - Last edited on 20-Jan-2013 19:44:53 by Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Relationship with Family:
His father and uncle are widely supported and respected.
Due to his amazing reflexes, his father became leader of the tribe. His brother was still jealous that he wasn’t picked, and kept an icy distance with the leader and his son. Ameliahe was the only thing keeping Ender in the camp. When he felt as if he was lost, he would go to her tent and she would sit with him and read books to him. Her imagination astounded him, and he heard of mystical dragons in the North, wizards that could turn metal into gold.
– Key Friends:
He has many friends, being the leader’s son. Ardemaeus is the closest of them all, being his age and about his size. Ardemaeus was a good friend, joined him in hunting and such, but Ender could tell him and the others just liked him because his father was the leader.
– Key Enemies:
His uncle was an enemy to him and his father.
He suspected the other clans of families in his tribe were secretly planning his father’s downfall, but they showed no outwardly resistance.
– Relationship with Enemies:
He wishes that everything would just stay chill (In the desert, Hah!).
He thinks it’s pointless, especially since he’s done nothing to them. They are the enemies of his father. They don’t especially hurt him, but whenever they’re close to him they drop some snide comments about him. He just turns around and ignores them, a tactic he’s learned over the two decades of his life.

– Educational History:
His mentors, a group of elderly men in the tribe had taught him and the other kids all about the history of the tribe, and how it started. He learned about his father, how he was going to one day be like him, and the responsibility of being the ruler. Along with that, when he visited his cousin she taught him all about the distant lands, the adventures that happened there, and all the magic and combat that transpired there.

20-Jan-2013 15:09:19 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2013 23:01:03 by Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Work History:
He helped around the camp, filling jugs and handing out waterskins to hunters. He is also responsible for setting the dining tent with utensils for his father before every meal. He was his father’s apprentice, walking around with him and doing what his father thought was too low for him to do himself. The one thing his father didn’t let him do was go hunting, deeming it too dangerous for a young kid to commit to, even though he was in his 20’s now.
* Skills:
He’s really talented at ignoring other’s opinions of him. This is one way that his cleverness is shown. From birth, he’d always been at the top of his class, survival skills years ahead of what the elders expected of him. The other skill that was his most treasured and trusted secret, was his writing. He valued writing above all else. He wrote about far away places, with magical beings, where everyone wandered free without someone ruling over them. He could close his eyes and see it in his mind’* eye, even now.
* Phobias / Fears:
He fears his father doesn’t have enough faith in him to take him hunting. A fear that hunted him since birth was that maybe his mother was a bad person. It fit that no one in the camp talked about her, and his father merely glanced away when he brought the subject up. But above all of that, his biggest fear is the kalphite, a green, slithering, gooey, spiked creature that resembled a misshapen cactus. Ever since his experience, he was daunted.

20-Jan-2013 15:09:36

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Bad Habits / Vices:
When he is embarrassed, he stutters on his letters, and mixes up his words. ‘Be happy’, becomes ‘Happy be’.
– Quirks:
When he gets nervous, he starts rubbing his glasses with a sheet of wool. His emotions have a tendency to change very quickly, making him bipolar and unpredictable.
- Scars
He has a scar on his forearm where the kalphite bit him.
– Best Qualities:
He may not seem like it because he spends his time avoiding the people who whisper about him, but he has a kind heart. When he sees someone struggling with a task, such as raising the basket to the main well, he’ll help him or her hoist it up with a friendly smile. Another one of his best qualities is that he is able to stitch clues together.
– Worst Qualities:
He tends to not give others respect when he feels that they are being stupid. He understands the wilderness and how to survive well, but humans he just doesn’t get. Whenever he starts a conversation, he says something wrong and ends up walking away awkwardly (Connects to Relationships; See below).

– Key Childhood Experiences:
As a child, he did*’t understand the responsibility his father carried around on his shoulders. Once when he was walking around with his father who was showing him around the camp, he was playing with some wool in his hands, and his hands somehow found his dad’s loincloth. Pulling roughly, he ‘derobed’ his father in front of his personal guard. His father kept him locked up in the grand tent for a week after that, and immediately asked the elders to start teaching him.

20-Jan-2013 15:11:06

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Key Teenage Experiences:
On a burning Sunday in the camp, he was walking over to the well to fill up a water skin for an elder who was lying in bed sick, when he found a pair of fresh footprints leading into the storage tent. He knew from experience (Not sure if I should include this one in child’* experiences?) that only his father was allowed in there, and his father had been out hunting all day. Cautiously peering into the tent, he made out a dark figure. Peering around himself, he saw no one near. He crouched and snuck into the small tent opening. Among the piles of weapons, emergency water skins, and packs of food, there was a guy, probably in his late teens, dressed in full purple robes. Ender immediately recognized the Bedabin attire, the enemies of the Bandits. He snuck around the guy, who was currently stuffing a loaf of bread into his already bulging sack, and lifted a short dagger behind his back, something he’d been taught. He called out to the guy, asking him what he was doing there, and the guy immediately lunged out, narrowly missing him with a long scimitar that split open a water skin, splashing all over Ender, making him slip to the floor, dropping his dagger. He blinked the water out of his eyes, and saw a figure rushing at him. Right before the guy reached him, his hands closed around the dagger, and he stabbed upwards, impaling the guy in the groin. He collapsed to the ground, spouting blood and the sorts. A minute later, his father appeared in the doorway to find a shaking Ender, and a bloody corpse. That was Ender’s first dance with death. He learned that in combat there was nothing you could expect. You had to be prepared for anything.
– Key Adult Experiences:
When Ender was 20, he was organizing a pot of cactus in the corner of his father’s tent. As he placed it in a corner, he heard a growl. He turned around, and on the ground in front of him was a kalphite. It leapt at him, and he flung his arm out, knocking it back, but not before it

20-Jan-2013 15:11:43 - Last edited on 20-Jan-2013 20:26:50 by Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
had impaled his forearm with a spike. He howled in pain. Gripping a chair, he tried to squash it under. The kalphite ran away towards the entrance flap. He ran towards it, picking up a used glass and hurtling it at the kalphite. The glass hit its mark and the kalphite imploded into a swamp of green spikes and squashed flesh. This was his second dance with death. Afterwards, his father commended him on his resourcefulness. He learned that when fighting something, you have to make due with what you have.
– Relationship Background:
Due to his status as the leader’s son, the women who deliver food and skins (water skins) to the camp take an interest in him. Whenever they deliver anything to the grand tent where he is, they flatter him with compliments. He knows that some of them just like him to get favor with his father, but there was one he really likes. Veronica, a 23-year-old maid, with fiery red hair and brilliant blue eyes was his favorite. She would deliver inside the tent, and she would talk to him about all that she had to do as a maid, how people would scream at her if she did something wrong. He in turn told her a little about himself. How he wished he could just be a regular boy without the burden of having to be ruler once his father perished.

20-Jan-2013 15:12:14 - Last edited on 20-Jan-2013 20:02:14 by Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Favorites:
While Guthix Sleeps is a book he adores because of its amazing, mystical stories. When he feels agitated about something, he likes to walk to the edge of the camp and gaze out into the desert. He imagines that one day he’ll be able to go hunt and have his father place full trust in his abilities.
– Goals:
He wants to prove to his father that he is capable enough to do many things. He wants to go live in Misthalin, a land fabled to be riddled with bits of magic and sorcery. He wants to see the lands that are described in his books. Most of all, he wants to escape the burden of being a ruler when his father dies.
– Morality / Ethics:
– He believes that people should be able to make their own choices, and not be told what to do if they have a lot to offer. He believes *hat true happiness only comes when everyone is free.

– Style of Speech:

Ender has a bit of a slang style of speaking. He prefers saying the short versions of words as saying the whole word is a waste of time.

20-Jan-2013 15:12:25

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