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—The Highborn—

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Azigarath

Azigarath

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(cont.)

And that’s all for now in feedback. As for the “realism vs. fantasy”, I feel it is necessary to have a basic knowledge of history to use as a basis for fiction. As Poller mentioned, the speech of nobles was a little off, but there is some truth behind it. In Scotland throughout the early Middle Ages, the king could be addressed with simple language, even just to talk about the weather. The reputation of Scots has not died.

Going earlier, the Ancient Slavic peoples, from before the fall of the Roman Empire, were recorded to being disrespectful and disobedient even to their kings.

Bountiful gifts were received (and expected) by great nobles of all nations, so an emissary without even one gift would be treated more like an insult. The highest nobles should be of highest politeness and, as Poller said, even political. Well, I am guilty of a lack of such qualities in my own stories.

Serene End and I had a great discussion about a similar thing, though mine was, unsurprisingly, combat-orientated. It was argued that fantasy should override realism, however, if it is wrong, then it’s wrong. You can** show incorrect mathematics in a fictional story and use the excuse of fantasy, as an extreme example.

But, it’s your call. What I noticed was the empathy of your peoples; they cry for children and wives, and think of family. If they have heart, they would undoubtedly be polite to their king and never refuse anything. However, if your people are like angry Scotsmen who have a habit of attacking any foreigner that lands in the British Isles (such as Romans, Vikings, Saxons, Normans, etc.) then I suppose an aggressive people would be more open to the “treating the king like a buddy” attitude. Your choice though.

20-Jun-2013 04:05:30 - Last edited on 20-Jun-2013 04:05:50 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

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Moving on, I feel your story is expanding steadily and in a way easy to understand. Somewhat common, though. So far it’s the “good vs. destructive evil” scenario, but I have a feeling that the queen wants to be a pest. I’d love to see a pack of wolves attack a few hellions, maybe even more types of demons, we’ll see.

That’s all for now, until next time.

20-Jun-2013 04:05:38

Areno3

Areno3

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Yep, the Golden Valley has elephants and the like. :)

By scissor-like bangs, I mean in the formation of 'vvvvv' across his forehead. So he has really short hair. ;)

I didn't know that thing about the broadswords, but perhaps these swords were a bit thicker and supposed to be used by cavalry.

Yeah, that's just when I can't think of a word. Pommel is the butt end of a sword! Where'd you find that?

Gilded would be a better word. Where did you find that in my writing?

I stated in the text that the area had once been filled with the trees near Zendonia, so the demons cut them all down and used the wood to make siege weapons. If you look at the map, you will see a path just north of the Shaden Forest and south of the Cavern of Prophecy. That's where the demons will take their siege weapons if they wanted to attack Synera.

And with the people respecting their kings and all, the only time they were disrespectful was when the old king was in power. Lomar didn't want to be there and either did Zem. They didn't think of the old king as their lord, and therefore didn't treat him as such. Plus he was elderly, weak, and fragile and therefore had nothing to back up his commands as a monarch.

Alderionth on the other hand has all of those things, and now is respected by his people. The only one who didn't treat him with 'respect' was Odama because he was rushing to tell him something extremely important concerning the demons when he sat him down and threw a book at him.

20-Jun-2013 04:39:33 - Last edited on 20-Jun-2013 04:42:33 by Areno3

Azigarath

Azigarath

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Ah, that would explain it. All your points are reasonable.

“Yeah, that's just when I can't think of a word. Pommel is the butt end of a sword! Where'd you find that?”
Page 5, post 8, second paragraph, last sentence, near the end of the paragraph.

“Gilded would be a better word. Where did you find that in my writing?”
Page 5, post 9, third paragraph, last sentence.

Oh, and I forgot to criticize this:
“The third demon was dealt with by a few short rapid strikes with the dual rapiers.”
Two rapiers, one held in each hand I suppose is ok, but historically, one hand would hold the sword and the other hand held a dagger. This is better than two swords for reasons that would take too long to talk about.

I don’t know if I already did this, but may I suggest a few things? I will put a list of titles, which you can then copy-paste into the YouTube search bar to find according videos that portray a basic demonstration about medieval combat (but sometimes not). It’d be a stretch to go through them all, but they are fun to watch. I noticed that your combat scenes are a little quick, that is, when one demon fights a specific character, so I thought maybe I’d help out.

Longsword Techniques - Receiving Strikes on Flat

CAS Hanwei - 2010 Blade show - John Clement* Historical European Swordsmanship

15th Century fighting demonstration

Messer Techniques from Talhoffer

Fencing with five different medieval weapons

Fechten mit dem langen Schwert

SwArta Harnischfechten

Grabbing Edge During Half-Swording

Vyborg castle medieval mass fight

Twirch Ringe* (the * is an *)

Battle of the Nations 2012 - Poland vs Russia 21x21 (30 April)

Military Designs from Talhoffer's Medieval Combat Manual

Two Handed Great Sword Cold Steel

20-Jun-2013 05:21:37 - Last edited on 20-Jun-2013 05:22:23 by Azigarath

Areno3

Areno3

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I think I'll keep the two rapiers just for the hell of it.

And yeah you did, but it was on Story Discussions, not on here. Just keep it up. Maybe I'll take a gander at some when I need some inspiration for a battle scene. Thanks Azi! :)

20-Jun-2013 05:32:09

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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(Just keep in mind that Azi takes his mediaeval combat more serious than most mediaeval combatants did. Not a knock on you, Azi -- but sometimes the narrative demands fights and fighting techniques that are less-than-historical. Poetic licence, and all that.)

20-Jun-2013 07:08:28

Azigarath

Azigarath

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Yeah, I am quite the fanatic. As Carl Sagan once said, when you are in love, you want to tell the world. I have this love for weapons and armour and how they were utilised. Maybe I push it too often, but I do say it is optional. It’s just that, in my opinion, having a taste of the historic side does give many avenues for creativity, it's like a boost.

There are things in reality that are, quite literally, stranger than fiction. A diving suit in the middle ages as fact is really crazy (or a giant mallet-like thing used to crush the tops of walls). The crayfish depicted in Talhoffer’s book (it’s basically a bladed wheeled explosive device) is really cool. Reminds me of those sliding blades in the Zelda games.

But yeah, maybe I should shut-up about it.

20-Jun-2013 08:47:17

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