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Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“The World Guardian is participating in the current battle under the banner of…” His mumbling quiets to the point of inaudibility, then back again. “…problematic. I was sure that he was loyal due to his actions during the Battle of Lumbridge, even though there was some minor conflict about the Wand of Resurrection. If he’s loyal to that god instead, I might have to take drastic measures. But I can’t afford to risk his ire, given that it’s necessary that he accompany me on my campaign to the Enchanted Valley. If only there was…” Back to being inaudible, but no matter. I know what I must do.

Of course, my usual route of dealing with those who cause trouble for my lord won’t work. Padomenes may be able to help though. His record for convincing rebels to willingly rejoin Saradomin’s army is remarkable. I should ask him about his methods.

---

And I do so. Privately, in his quarters, so as to not arouse suspicions. No matter how noble my mission, it remains that I do it without the knowledge of my lord. I cannot afford for any unrelated persons to hear what I am inquiring about.

“My methods for bargaining with rebels? Normally your questions tend towards combat situations, not diplomatic ones.”

I frown impatiently, “Answer.”

He at least has the decency to look embarrassed, *Mostly my methods consist of an ultimatum. Rebels are given the choice to surrender without a fight and be absolved of their crimes, stripped of any stolen or embezzled funds, and join Saradomin’s army as a recruit in the infantry. If they refuse, they will be captured alive and publicly executed as traitors.”

02-Jan-2014 06:44:13

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Absolved of their crimes? That’s quite lenient in light of what some rebels have done. And even as a low rank, letting a traitor into Saradomin’s army is risky.”

“Not as risky as you might think. If they show signs of continuing any disruptive behavior, discipline can occur within the army. That’s why we offer absolution to those who surrender. Although it’s a strong show, public executions are bad for public morale, and can even create more rebels if the original behavior was prompted by an injustice or shortage of necessities that we were unaware of at the time.”

“Interesting. Assume that the leader must be convinced to join Saradomin again, but because of the sizable strength and public support that he has, you aren’t allowed to threaten the use of force.”

He appears stunned. If that is an indicator of difficulty rather than surprise at the question, this may prove problematic. Thankfully, he regains his bearings*****, if the rebels have made demands, I’d try to speak with citizens in the area to find out why they are making such demands. Usually they are motivated not out of greed, but a dissatisfaction with something, either living conditions, or a lack of security if they live farther from the more populated areas.”

“And if not?*

*I’d probably try to target the leader himself, assuming a male leader of course, and see if I could find a way to use his ego in negations, possibly offer a prestigious, but ultimately unimportant position that he wouldn’t be able to use against us if he wasn’t truly swayed. If nothing else, seduction may work, but-“

02-Jan-2014 06:44:35

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Seduction ?” I cut him off, shocked. Obviously prestige isn’t helpful, if the World Guardian was offered the lead of the campaign to the Enchanted Valley and is still working for false gods. There are also no demands made by him, although from what Padomenes noted earlier, he seemed quite enthused by the rewards offered to individuals who proved their loyalty in the Battle of Lumbridge. That leaves only one option, and it is unfortunately one that I’m not properly trained or prepared for. It’s not a question of willingness, my body is a tool for our lord just as my blade is, but I don’t want my ineptness in the field to drive the World Guardian into the arms, possibly literally and figuratively, of our enemies.

He blushes, thankfully mistaking the reason for my outburst, *It is quite undesirable, but it can be necessary. The Icyenic Covenent of Saint Elspeth trains themselves in both music and seduction, although I do believe that they entirely miss the point of why the eponymous saint was famous. We haven’t had to resort to using their less savory talents though, so they mostly just play music for the soldiers during downtime to keep spirits up.”

---

There was more to the conversation, but it isn’t quite relevant. After finishing the façade of a simulation of a diplomatic strategy, and a farce of a grading on such, I excused myself and made my way to the Covenent’s leader, who had her quarters near where they train. Currently, as it is nightfall, I do not have to deal with the other members, and can go directly to my target. I knock on the door quietly, not wanting to wake her if she was asleep.

The door opens inward, displaying the leader, a tall and rather buxom Icyene with downy wings, which seem slightly puffy, as if the feathers were those softer ones of a very young Icyene. She physically looks the same age as I do. The most noticeable thing about her though, is that her sleeping wear is slightly… abbreviated.

02-Jan-2014 06:45:12

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I do my best to keep my eyes firmly fixated on her face. “Are you the head of this Covenent?”

“I just might be, Lady Zilyana.” Her voice I would equate to the penmenship of some pubescent female Icyene, with words decorated with small hearts. It is pleasant, but her tone does not bode well for my sanity.

“I require your aid with a sensitive matter, and would like to talk further indoors.” With a small but exaggerated bow, she gestures for me to enter. I do so, although instincts hard won in battle scream that I shouldn’t. After a few steps in, I hear the door closing behind me with finality.

Delicate arms wrap around my waist and a chin slides into the crook of my neck as I feel my back pressing up against… A shiver runs down my spine at the thought.

“Nervous, are we? I suppose it’s to be expected. I thought that it was a bit forward of you to show up in the middle of the night at my doorstep, requesting ‘aid’ of me.” Unlike when Padomenes mistook my intent, it seems that this was most definitely not to my benefit.

At least I know why my instincts were screaming at me to get out.

---

NOTE: I'm not sure about the content rules on this forum, but I'm not willing to chance it with the mods unless I'm sure it'd be fine. The rest of it would be firmly PG-13, but wouldn't stray into citrus territory.

02-Jan-2014 06:45:50 - Last edited on 02-Jan-2014 06:52:14 by Cybernet377

Lego Miester
Nov Member 2023

Lego Miester

Posts: 35,339 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Cybernet377 said :

NOTE: I'm not sure about the content rules on this forum, but I'm not willing to chance it with the mods unless I'm sure it'd be fine. The rest of it would be firmly PG-13, but wouldn't stray into citrus territory.


I am both morbidly and genuinely curious where this story is headed.

The game is pretty much rated pg-13, so I wouldn't be too worried, but go ahead and check with a mod. (How would you even do that? "Hey mods, want to read my raunchy fanfic to judge whether it's appropriate for these forums?" )
Headcanon Haven, where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
OSRS Lore: Xeric
Slepe Tight - Slepe Lore

02-Jan-2014 07:06:57 - Last edited on 02-Jan-2014 07:07:17 by Lego Miester

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“NO! That’s not why I came here!” I squeak , embarrassingly enough, flinging myself out of her grip.

It’s her turn to be embarrassed about the misunderstanding, and slightly… fearful? “I just tried to solicit and harassed a superior officer, I’m doomed…” the Icyene sinks to the ground. Oh, that’s why. She’s terrified of the consequences that could be coming to her for this. Time to resolve everything and get back to why I came here.

“It’s fine, it was just a misunderstanding,” I say, for myself as much as her, “I need your help with a mission.”

She perks up, “Anything, Lady Zilyana! Anything I can do to help, just say it!” Well, that’s good. It seems that her dodging consequences that I really couldn’t bring down without anyone asking what I was doing there is enough to make her cooperative.

“I understand that given the time limit I will be unable to grasp the subtleties of the subject, but within one week’s time I need to learn how to seduce a human male.” I bow slightly, acknowledging her as my instructor in the subject.

“…I’m doomed.” Well, there goes her good mood.

I’m also not too happy about her implication that it’s impossible to teach me the art of seduction, but I have a feeling that bringing it up will do more harm than good.

---

02-Jan-2014 07:23:43 - Last edited on 02-Jan-2014 10:24:47 by Cybernet377

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Day 1:

“First off, we need to work on your walk.”

“I can walk perfectly fine.”

“Walking with the stance and expression that you want to impale the person you’re walking towards wouldn’t even be acceptable if they were into that sort of thing.”

“Sort of thing?”

“That’s not going to be part of the lesson plan at all.”

---

Day 2:

“You’re too tense.”

“What?”

“You’re far too tense. No one will believe that you have fun like that. Think of the feeling when you’ve had a little to drink, that slight mellow feeling.”

“I don’t know that feeling.”

Seriously?

---

Day 3:

“You do know how to smile, don’t you? Frowning and scowling aren’t exactly the most alluring expressions in the world.”

I do my best to smile widely at her.

“Let’s go back to the walking; at least we were making progress there.”

---

Day 4:

“Your pose is too wide, it looks like you’re about to attack. Trust me; you’re probably not going to have to fight off an army unless he has some really warped ideas about romance.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being ready for a battle.”

“There is when there’s no battle to be ready for.”

“What if I have to battle him?”

“Then obviously by that point seduction has failed spectacularly.”

---

Day 5:

“You know, your hair would look really good if we did some work to fix the wild messiness.”

“Not a chance.”

“Well, I guess it could add a certain feral appeal to the sophistication and silk. Your wings could also complement it if we did some work on them.”

“Forget it; I’m not putting anything on my wings.”

“You have armor on them already!”

---

02-Jan-2014 10:25:20

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Day 6:

“Now, your eyes will be really unique and eye-catching to humans, so we’re going to accentuate them. Some delicate use of shadow will give them some great allure.” She steps back, looking critically over me. “You look beautiful. I can*t see why you’d just squander that natural beauty”

I blush despite myself. The only saving grace is that none of my subordinates are here. That would be much worse than this.

“And your blush looks so nice! It comes off so naturally, and looks so adorably innocent!”

I was wrong just now. This is already worse.

---

Day 7:

Apparently my present for “completing” the training is the dress that I’m going to be wearing. I’m a bit surprised that it’s not very revealing. The top part doesn’t even show cleavage, which given that woman’s general sensibilities, is pretty surprising. The bottom is a long dress with fake feathered wings on it slightly below my second set. It’s spotlessly white, with golden designs along the sides.

If she would stop cooing over how it looks on me, I might actually be impressed by it.

I go to one of the portal mages and ask that they open a portal to… Yannile was where the World Guardian’s house was.

As I walk through the portal, I’m greeted by a group of awestruck citizens. Fantastic. On the positive side, the World Guardian was at his house, so I won’t have to wait.

Following the sound of hammering, I see the World Guardian in the bedroom working on a wardrobe, and suddenly realize that I don’t know what to say. Why was this never covered during the week? Then I realize that with the Icyene woman’s sensibilities, she probably did*’t consider that any talking would occur.

“World guardian, we have a few matters to discuss,” I say in a tone that I was assured sounds alluring, but to me sounds slightly comically high-pitched, while also making a ‘cute’ pose that makes it hard to stay standing instead of falling over.

02-Jan-2014 10:25:51 - Last edited on 02-Jan-2014 10:27:21 by Cybernet377

Cybernet377
Aug Member 2008

Cybernet377

Posts: 2,725 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This all might have been worth it just for the World Guardian’* expression. That point directly between fear and awe, not knowing what is going on at all.

“Why are you fighting for one of the false gods instead of Lord Saradomin?”

He regains his bearings and answers eventually. “The armor mostly, to be honest. Also, Saradomin isn’t fighting right now.*

WHAT . All of this was just because he wanted to get another set of armor?

I lunge at him, tackling him in rage, and slamming him to the bed.

“I wasted a week of my life learning the basics of seduction, and it turns out that you just wanted some armor? Argh!” the sound I made was like a growl mixed with a choke and a scream of frustration. “That armor is useless! You already have more than enough sets!”

“It wouldn’t have helped anyways.” He says

*What?”

“You have bothered learning basic information about me, right? I’m engaged to Princess Astrid. Trying to seduce me would have accomplished nothing.”

I make a long scream in frustration that echoes through the small house.

“Sir!* the Guardian’s cook yells, “I heard a scream, are you alri-“ She pauses as she enters the room and sees us. My main wings have folded down, covering most of us, so all the can see is me pinning his hands, and me being on top of him in the bed.

“Nope. Nope. Nope .” She keeps repeating the phrase as she stiffly walks out of the room “Nope, nope, nope…”

---

“So, how’d it go? Does he absolutely love you forever? Is he now a loyal follower of Zilyana? Did he like the quick removal tab on the dress?”

I’M NEVER WEARING A DRESS AGAIN!

02-Jan-2014 10:26:59 - Last edited on 02-Jan-2014 10:32:47 by Cybernet377

Velia
Jan Member 2020

Velia

Posts: 2,836 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Cybernet377 said :
“Sir!* the Guardian’s cook yells, “I heard a scream, are you alri-“ She pauses as she enters the room and sees us. My main wings have folded down, covering most of us, so all the can see is me pinning his hands, and me being on top of him in the bed.

“Nope. Nope. Nope .” She keeps repeating the phrase as she stiffly walks out of the room “Nope, nope, nope…”

Pfffftt..Pffft.*Restricted chuckling noises*
Oh dear, sweet, Sliske. I think I'm going to die!

02-Jan-2014 18:26:03

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