Great work Kitty, I like it a lot, it has a nice flow to it - and some consistency in the personality of the author, and it still gets across the bigger points of revelation from the in-game document.
It does lose a few specific details though from the in-game one, like some specification on how the unification of Asgarnia, what the Kinsha did to help and all in that time period, but I don't really think that's much a bad thing. If it came down to it, I think I'd prefer your rewrite as it is now, rather than for you to try and include those extra minor details, because it might mess up the flow you have in the work right now, and that would be a shame.
So all in all, it may be a complete rewrite, but if Stu and the other Jmods are willing, I think this would be a great improvement. Once again, good job on it!
(Also, sorry for not really posting here, I've been taking a break from Runescape for awhile, and once the thread was up and posted I felt that Kitty and those who wanted to help would be able to get stuff done, and it seems I was right, I hope this works out for everyone!)
You can only fully appreciate a story when you experience it through the eyes of one of its characters.
11-Mar-2015 06:56:18