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History of the Kinshra - Edits

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William Witt
Aug Member 2023

William Witt

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On the lower slopes of Ice Mountain, he raised a mansion befitting a lord - The dark heart of power for the Kinshra's new demesne. It was more temple than mansion, in truth: A monument to the power of Zamorak, or to what he would have people believe Zamorak to be.

Between their headquarters in Varrock and the garrison at Ice Mountain, few of the Kinshra were now stationed in Falador itself. Yet still Valzin left a few of his agents to continue recruiting, continue spreading the word...

Until the tower burnt. The Wizards' Tower, the pinnacle of human achievement, the mages' centre of power, was consumed by flame—The doing of the dark wizards amongst their number. The dark wizards (also known as Red Wizards at the time) were followers of Zamorak—Open-minded scholars who embraced progress by bravely delving into those schools of magic that others were hesitant to touch. They had up to this point shown nothing but disdain for the Kinshra and for their chaos bishop progenitor... and yet now they had destroyed the tower. It soon came out that Lord Valzin had recently begun paying visits to the tower, and whispered suspicions began to flit about in response to this information. Had Lord Valzin corrupted the dark wizards?

Limited though the Kinshra presence in Falador now was, Lord Valzin was but one man. If a single individual could bring about such ruin through his preaching, then could the handful of Kinshra in Falador accomplish even more?

Old King Raddallin finally acted. The Kinshra were no longer to operate in Falador—and this came on the heels of the teenage King Botolph of Misthalin, wracked by paranoia since his father had been assassinated before his eyes, doing the same in Varrock. There was only one stronghold of power left now to their order, and that was the Wilderness Marchlands.
The Asgarnian ale must flow.

10-Mar-2015 17:19:38 - Last edited on 07-Jul-2016 03:33:27 by William Witt

William Witt
Aug Member 2023

William Witt

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Lord Valzin, though his displeasure was evident, asked one boon of the aged king, one last repayment for the Kinshra's services in uniting the nation—As though tolerating their butchering of Zamorak's faith was not repayment enough. He sought to fortify his mansion at Ice Mountain, to build a castle using the existing mansion as a skeleton. King Raddallin, I regret to say, agreed.

So a castle rose on the eastern slopes of the mountain. The very castle from within whose walls I now write these words. I could continue my tale, tell of how Lord Valzin appeared afterwards in Falador and set himself aflame after denouncing Raddallin's right to rule and with a vow that the Kinshra would one day take Falador for their own. I could tell the tale of how the subsequent unsolved theft of Valzin's body only committed the Kinshra to this cause, how they reaffirmed his pledge and have been trying to accomplish it since.

But this is all common enough knowledge.

I was naïve when I came here, naïve and idealistic. I imagined the stories I heard were but exaggerations, that here I would find comrades-in-arms who shared my faith. I was so very, very wrong.

My one friend here has already deserted in disgust at the clash between the Kinshra's methods and his ideals, and you cannot know how tempted I am to follow his path. I have seen and learned much in my short time here...

But I cannot.

Lord Shadwell is identical in all ways to his father... In thought, and in deed, and in so much more besides. The only hope for change... is from within. I must remain here. I must set an example for these men.

I only pray that in trying to save their souls, I am not forfeiting my own.

Zamorak help us all.

- R

The intention *is* to divide this into chapters like in the current book, though I want to make them "named" chapters instead of "numbered" ones. Also, Wolfie, I put your thing in!
The Asgarnian ale must flow.

10-Mar-2015 17:23:52 - Last edited on 12-Mar-2015 06:41:56 by William Witt

Wahisietel
Oct Member 2005

Wahisietel

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That's amazing. Simply amazing.

Hopefully it being a complete rewrite and possibly longer than the original doesn't dissuade Jagex from including it. You never were our brightest star, Khazard. 'Vermin slaughtered like lambs'? What does that even mean?

10-Mar-2015 20:01:04

Amserdrwys
Jun Member 2022

Amserdrwys

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While it is quite long, Kitty's posts there show how many perspectives mortal followers can have of a god's philosophy, much like in Real Life. We really do need more of these sorts of perspectives in addition to the gods themselves, so we don't focus too much on the gods.

I would even go as far as to say the gods themselves have been persuaded of philosophies mortal followers present that their gods may consider questionable or objectionable. Mortals influence themselves and others as much as any god has, and their power must be recognized, both in words and in actions.

Every faction needs this sort of follower focus, and drive that the views of the followers may differ from the views of their gods or other leaders, even if the followers themselves truly believe differently. Guthix knows many players have a focus on a single view of my faction (see my helm), and while I am not a fan of Zamorak himself, I can sympathize that his views were most likely twisted by his more malevolent followers, especially the more powerful ones such as Mahjarrat.

10-Mar-2015 20:22:32 - Last edited on 10-Mar-2015 20:25:39 by Amserdrwys

Aterivus
Dec Member 2020

Aterivus

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Interesting re-write. I enjoy the shift in focus to a warped interpretation based on an extremist preacher's own mindset as the basis for what would have become the Kinshra at this time period.

Lord Valzin this time around seems much more sinister and power-hungry, and a supporter of said preacher's interpretation of the religion. Though you go to extensive lengths to draw the line between the "acceptable" ideaology and those who choose their own interpretation to justify anything and everything. Glad to see his characterization staying similar throughout the story this time around, rather than a sudden change of heart about dissolving the order.

Good rewrite, good story overall. You have my support. " All great changes are preceded by chaos. "

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10-Mar-2015 21:08:33 - Last edited on 10-Mar-2015 21:12:45 by Aterivus

Lord Drakan
Sep Member 2010

Lord Drakan

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That's pretty good, but it's pretty much a retcon of half of the current text. More importantly, it's essentially a complete rewrite. I'm not sure we can pull that off. :s

Edit: Oh wow, I'm stupid. Missed the italicised text... Just to confirm then - this would be a second book in addition to the proposed changes to the first? Still not sure that would classify as "edits", really, but it's nice to see two views on the matter: official Kinshra historian and random knight who's thinking about what he's doing. Two things though: could Shadwell have been Valzin's son? It's a bit of a stretch, and doesn't seem to add a lot. :/ And Botolph's son would also be Botolph? I imagine Roald I or even Roald II would be ruling by the time of the tower's kaboom.

Edit 2: Well, others seem to think it IS a rewrite of the original. Confused now. It kind of completely digresses from the design doc. Help. Bizarre Boron Fusswell, scryer extraordinaire. OSRS: POH ideas & RS3 minigames & achievement ideas !

Perhaps you're half right; perhaps we can't win. But we can fight.
— Zanik

10-Mar-2015 21:27:48 - Last edited on 10-Mar-2015 21:37:57 by Lord Drakan

Zoli Ben
Dec Member 2023

Zoli Ben

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Ignore Fswe mods, we can pull it. Let's do it because it is finally helping to end x god being responsible for y thing. We can all agree this is for the better after all the things that happened.

10-Mar-2015 21:37:47 - Last edited on 10-Mar-2015 21:42:13 by Zoli Ben

Wahisietel
Oct Member 2005

Wahisietel

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@Lord Drakan Yes, it's a rewrite of the original, not a new book.

I'm not personally bothered if it's a complete rewrite of the current text TBH, the general timeline of events remains the same, and it's simply much better. If Jagex have no problems with it being such a large change, then I see no reason as to why it shouldn't be added to the game. You never were our brightest star, Khazard. 'Vermin slaughtered like lambs'? What does that even mean?

10-Mar-2015 21:51:56 - Last edited on 10-Mar-2015 22:06:17 by Wahisietel

Rondstat

Rondstat

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Wow, Kitty, this is fantastic. I had refrained from reading the original version, as I knew you did not approve, but this really gives the elucidation that Zamorakians have so desperately needed. I haven't read the novels, so I don't know - is this taken from existing lore, or is it mostly a new story?

Two very minor things pop out at me (If you don't mind me being so presumptuous as to volunteer a suggestion when I've contributed nothing to the discussion so far). First, in the reference to the tower burning, I wonder if "red wizards" would more appropriately fit the terminology of the era than "dark wizards." And also, though this is probably inconsequential, it would be neato if you snuck in a clause around the Kinshra's formation that acknowledges their legacy, something like "styled after the legendary order that served Zamorak during the God Wars," etc.

Anyways, this is great, very well-written, and I really hope to see this in game soon!

10-Mar-2015 22:03:51

Robo Hobo

Robo Hobo

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Great work Kitty, I like it a lot, it has a nice flow to it - and some consistency in the personality of the author, and it still gets across the bigger points of revelation from the in-game document.

It does lose a few specific details though from the in-game one, like some specification on how the unification of Asgarnia, what the Kinsha did to help and all in that time period, but I don't really think that's much a bad thing. If it came down to it, I think I'd prefer your rewrite as it is now, rather than for you to try and include those extra minor details, because it might mess up the flow you have in the work right now, and that would be a shame.

So all in all, it may be a complete rewrite, but if Stu and the other Jmods are willing, I think this would be a great improvement. Once again, good job on it!

(Also, sorry for not really posting here, I've been taking a break from Runescape for awhile, and once the thread was up and posted I felt that Kitty and those who wanted to help would be able to get stuff done, and it seems I was right, I hope this works out for everyone!) You can only fully appreciate a story when you experience it through the eyes of one of its characters.

11-Mar-2015 06:56:18

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