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Ghazgkull

Ghazgkull

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September's MUPAQ winner has been chosen! the following was written by a valued friend of the Holy Church of Gloop:

Privet my fellow comrades-in-arms,

At the behest of El Jefe Tophurious, it is my esteemed pleasure to be the judge, jury and executioner in selecting the winner for the first ever MUPAQ Award.

I am proud to announce that the winner of September 2019’s MUPAQ Award is… Entry #3 by “King Green” Tuffty!

Now, how did I arrive at this choice?

Criteria #1: Intent

Did the poster understand the thread, but choose to post a MUPAQ anyway? This, fellow tovarischi, is deliberate trolling . We all know that this competition is popular, and that the forum community has an overwhelming desire to participate in it. Well, suck it up, attention-seekers: this aren’t the competitions you’re looking for. The winner has to be a candidate who posted expecting their post to be helpful, but ended up accomplishing the exact opposite. Therefore, Entry #2 by Nine Threes was the first to be eliminated, as he had a prior post that clearly proved that he understood the thread topic.

Criteria #2: Is it too low effort, even for our rock bottom standards?

Contrary to this thread, which is low effort trash, this competition of the most esteemed MUPAQ Award is only slightly less low. Anyone can make a one-liner shitpost, even a chimpanzee. Low effort one-word or one-liners are a dime a dozen! As such, Entry #1 by Mr. “Cannot Read” AfkingAlt123 is next on the chopping block.

This left me with four remaining candidates. This was a tough call to make, as all four remaining posts were similar in quality for the purposes of this competition. Ultimately, however, I made a decision by flipping the second criteria on its head: WAAAGH!!!

06-Oct-2019 16:35:41 - Last edited on 06-Oct-2019 16:37:26 by Ghazgkull

Ghazgkull

Ghazgkull

Posts: 9,600 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Criteria #3: Is it high effort?

The best MUPAQ, in my opinion, is when the poster spends the most time in an attempt to provide the most information, but ends up providing the least.

Both Entry #4 by Sir UNTRIMSLAY and Entry #6 by Aethel “Other Green” Wolf were uneducated guesses almost certainly conjured up at a whim. It would have taken less than half a minute for any individual of near-human intelligence to produce such a MUPAQ, and therefore these two entries were next to be eliminated from consideration.

Now, on to the top two. This was an even tougher call to make, as both posts were extremely outstanding in quality for the purposes of this competition, despite their differences in nature.

Entry #5 by “the Dong-U-Dead” clearly indicated on the second post of the thread that they did not know the answer, and subsequently, “the Dong-U-Dead” crafted their MUPAQ thinking that it would help the OP, even though they were still unaware of the thread’s purpose. The MUPAQ produced by “the Dong-U-Dead” is also longer in length, at five lines and 489 characters.

Ultimately, however, I decided that Entry #3 by “King Green” Tuffty would be declared the official winner, because, despite his MUPAQ’s shorter length, the “King Green” Tuffty provided a link to a third-party site ! See here, comrades, it is already high effort to spend over a minute rambling about rubber ducks and hungry children and whatnot, but to bother opening a brand new Internet tab, searching for an external URL, and then copying and pasting the URL into your MUPAQ?! That, everyone, is a respectably high standard that I hope to see replicated in future MUPAQ competitions.

Thus concludes my hosting of the MUPAQ Award for the month of September 2019! See you all next month! WAAAGH!!!

06-Oct-2019 16:35:54 - Last edited on 06-Oct-2019 16:37:46 by Ghazgkull

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

Posts: 24,106 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wonderful news! I'm sure we all wish Tuffty a huge "WELL DONE" !! and our sincere wishes that the nasty dose of squitters he will get from eating those festering fruits will not be too incapacitating.
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

07-Oct-2019 01:23:52

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