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Dragons of Surdaus
Quick find code: 49-50-979-51303065
Bookmarked.
15-Feb-2008 00:50:16
I'll start reading tonight.
Done with the Prequel. I liked it quite a bit. The biggest problem I noticed was that you sometimes used the same word too close together. Remember to look for synonyms.
EDIT: Now I'm to Chapter Four. The overuse of words is still there a little bit, but not too bad. You also tend to mix-up your use of semi-colons, colons, and commas. Check out the uses for those again. I'm really not too good with them, so I don't want to try to explain them to you and have something be wrong, otherwise I would.
The final thing is that Skye seems to become too good of friends with Aaron too quickly. Would you really say "Aaron... whatever might happen to us, remember that I will always be there for you, no matter the cost." when you haven't even known them for a whole day? It seems to me that it would take longer to get to know that person better, even if they were in my dreams. Just remember to keep things realistic.
Your description is very good.
I like how you describe the houses and dragons especially. Keep it up in your future writing.
I'm still very much liking this. I'll have to make sure I read the whole series.
Done with the Prequel. I liked it quite a bit. The biggest problem I noticed was that you sometimes used the same word too close together. Remember to look for synonyms.
EDIT: Now I'm to Chapter Four. The overuse of words is still there a little bit, but not too bad. You also tend to mix-up your use of semi-colons, colons, and commas. Check out the uses for those again. I'm really not too good with them, so I don't want to try to explain them to you and have something be wrong, otherwise I would.
The final thing is that Skye seems to become too good of friends with Aaron too quickly. Would you really say "Aaron... whatever might happen to us, remember that I will always be there for you, no matter the cost." when you haven't even known them for a whole day? It seems to me that it would take longer to get to know that person better, even if they were in my dreams. Just remember to keep things realistic.
Your description is very good.
I like how you describe the houses and dragons especially. Keep it up in your future writing.
I'm still very much liking this. I'll have to make sure I read the whole series.
16-Feb-2008 04:52:22 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2008 05:56:08 by Chuk
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