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Dragons of Surdaus
Quick find code: 49-50-979-51303065
This is okay for what little depth it has. I've seen your idea before, although it's not the exact same thing.
Your characters, well... too easy. Aaron is the typical chosen one who is shocked at his being so and then through a series of events, eventually defeats some big bad boss with the help of his friends who may or may not die in the process.
Skye is the basic fireball character with a rambunctious personality, but you said he was a minor character, so I suppose that's not so bad. Same with... Seehla, was her name? She's also very typical. Basically your average wiseperson that helps out the main character and his/her friends and is stronger than everybody at the beginning, but ends up being a weak old fossil compared to the main character/s at the end of the story because they've gotten so strong.
The story itself is... okay. It could be worse, and I'm grateful that your writing skill is good enough to make your story sound fairly appealing. But to make a truly well-done story, you have to add depth and perhaps slow the entire motion of the story.
Still... I don't know how long you've been here, so excuse me about giving you the third degree if that's what it looks like I'm doing.
I'm just being more honest on people now that I'm back.
Your characters, well... too easy. Aaron is the typical chosen one who is shocked at his being so and then through a series of events, eventually defeats some big bad boss with the help of his friends who may or may not die in the process.
Skye is the basic fireball character with a rambunctious personality, but you said he was a minor character, so I suppose that's not so bad. Same with... Seehla, was her name? She's also very typical. Basically your average wiseperson that helps out the main character and his/her friends and is stronger than everybody at the beginning, but ends up being a weak old fossil compared to the main character/s at the end of the story because they've gotten so strong.
The story itself is... okay. It could be worse, and I'm grateful that your writing skill is good enough to make your story sound fairly appealing. But to make a truly well-done story, you have to add depth and perhaps slow the entire motion of the story.
Still... I don't know how long you've been here, so excuse me about giving you the third degree if that's what it looks like I'm doing.
I'm just being more honest on people now that I'm back.
12-Oct-2007 05:14:05
Hehe 'ello Para, nice to have ye back amoung the living
12-Oct-2007 05:15:02
Ok, from what I read, two comments one if the Kell you're using is the bio I submited it had only one "l" also I had it as a female dragon. However that said I submitied for your use and yo can use it as you well.
13-Oct-2007 04:29:53
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