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~~Brotherly Love~~

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Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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That's why I said brothers, Ruben. I am aware you have more than one younger brothers :P
Hey, Link! I seriously didn't expect a response so soon...
A 'dark' story is not a description I've heard before of Brotherly Love :P . What gave you that impression? What was 'dark' for you?
I probably mean particularly. I'll change that when I got home.
The smiley isn't out of place :P . It was intended to be there, as Tyler makes a desperate attempt to try to cheer Edward up. Obviously, that fails.
Ronny meant Tyler in that letter. Somehow Ronny believed that, because Edward was ignorant about it, he could trick him out of his cell and crown him king before Edward finds out about it. Elementsky21 interpretted this as the supreme act of selfishness. But all Ronny seem to want is to give his brother a chance to punish himself, to ease his guilt.
Lol, I'll welcome you a game of chess any time, man. Did you find the beginning boring?

01-Feb-2011 13:40:55 - Last edited on 25-Feb-2011 16:20:57 by Englishkid62

Reaper Ben

Reaper Ben

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Uh... I'm sure that he has strong opinion, whether or not he will put it in a long post or a short phrase really depends. What does it depend on? Not sure =P I guess how much I try to push him to make an elaborate review =P
As for what it is like having a brother, I must say I like it! It's like having a constant companion with you all the time, no matter what other people think of you, you will still have someone that sticks with you. Of course the relationship is not perfect, we still fight each other, annoy each other, and other non pleasant stuff; but in the end, we still have fun together. Sometimes its hard to get them to play with you (By play I mean take part in activities like sports, video games, etc) because they just want to do their own things. For the most part though, we stick together and inflict on each other a great deal of pain =D. All of that is worth it, because at the least, you always have someone that will stick with you during your crazy adventures.

02-Feb-2011 16:33:57

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Strong opinions ... O_o
*shudders*
Really could do with less hate posts, but if they must come, so be it. I'll be ready.
Ah, that seems wonderful. I never had a brother so I never know. My sister likes girl's stuff, and never plays what I wanted to play, which usually are toy soldiers, tanks, dive-bombers, MLRS, or the board game RISK. It has been extremely frustrating.
But I always wondered if I had a brother instead... Anyway, just wondering if the relationship of the 'brothers' in the story was plausible. After all, one didn't exist at all :P

02-Feb-2011 18:41:19

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

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Seeing as I have read your story, but did not post after I got done with it. I think it is a good time to share my opinion on your story.
First I will begin with,it was an amazing story, I enjoyed it completely. A brother trying to make himself be notice, but his older brother is more notice then he. He respects his brother, but secretly hates how everyone likes Edward. Especially at the cli-max (somehow censored the word ******) of the story, he says something without thinking, and he regrets it for his entire life. That is amazing in it's own part. He then goes on to try and makes it right, but it did not work.
I myself did not even expect Edward's secret. In the beginning I thought it was about a brother trying to make himself notice by his dad. As his dad always liked Edward better. Of course I found myself reading it and not stopping when it got really suspenseful, I think Chapter 3 that was when I really got into the story. I enjoyed how in the end, he tries to fix what he did, but it was already too late, as he waited too long to fix what he had done. The ending was quite good, and I enjoyed it. After the Epilogue I found myself wondering what actually happened to Edward. Did he get killed by the demons or did he continue his solitude journey to find everlasting rest to be with the one he loved.
I would like to know what happened to Edward, but that would be asking too much, I enjoy wondering what happens to the main character.
Although, I did find few errors, probably typos, but it wasn't enough to disengage me from reading. Like on Chapter 3 or 4 when Ronny was asking the chef what he was making. You misspelled the word dessert instead it was desert. Also a little typo at the end of the last Chapter where you put Rolio instead of Ronny, unless that was not a mistake and it was actually Rolio who was telling the story, but I believe it was Ronny.
Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

04-Feb-2011 00:35:47 - Last edited on 04-Feb-2011 00:46:36 by Legionnaire

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

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Continuing my last post. The last thing that I didn't really like was how it jumped from Ronny View to Edward view then somehow onto what Tyler was thinking. That kinda made me stop and think, "wait who is actually saying this now". I found myself rereading it to make sure I knew who it was.

Final Conclusion:
Brotherly Love is a very good book, it has emotion, a good plot, plenty of connections to reality and makes people wonder why we do things like this. It really gets the reader thinking about things he may have done in the past and now regret, and how it is never too late to try to regain what you once lost. The story itself is good, and has a great message in it. A message that everyone learned before or should follow. That message, well I don't want to ruin the theme, so I won't say.
Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

04-Feb-2011 00:42:46 - Last edited on 04-Feb-2011 00:43:42 by Legionnaire

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

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There my long opinion on Brotherly Love is completed. Like I said on the story discussion, I was going to post my opinion. Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

04-Feb-2011 00:48:08

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Hey, thank you so much for commenting! :D
I'm glad you liked the story overall.
"And what happened to Edward, exactly? Nobody knew for certain. The wilderness was vast, untamed, and it was where dangerous beasts of all kinds lurked in the shadows. Nobody, even today, goes there unarmed. Our search team found Edward’s clothes, stripped away and cast to one side, in one of the ruins where the greater demons waited for unfortunate adventurers. We found some corpses, all of them unrecognisable, because the rituals the demons perform often distorted their shapes. I couldn’t bear the thought of my brother suffering anymore than he already did."
--So, we can kind of assume that Edward wandered to the Greater Demons in the Wilderness, and was killed. Now only recognised as one of the skeletons in the ruins. Or, as I'd like to think often, him as the blood rune spawn there :P
I think I didn't misspell the word dessert. Dessert comes after the main course. Desert is sandy, dry, and extremely hot. I might check though, just in case :p
Rolio? I can't seem to find that word in my story. Could you find it in terms of page and story posts? And the older King Roald is telling the story, not the child Ronny, so he had a bit of a hindsight thing going on, reflecting on the past.
What Tyler was thinking...? Actually, could you show me where it is? I intended only that the letter was all that conveyed what Tyler was thinking in the entire story. Overall, it focused very heavily on Ronny's own feelings (due to his selfishness) and perhaps a little bit of Edward (his obligation to try to imagine what it was like to be him.)
It can be confusing when thinking who is saying what. But at the end, that hardly mattered, because everything was said by the Old King Roald, so he didn't *really* know what Edward was thinking, only the hard concrete facts can be trusted. It's up to the reader to decide which was reliable and which was not, however.

04-Feb-2011 10:40:24 - Last edited on 04-Feb-2011 10:51:11 by Englishkid62

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

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Never mind after re-reading the Last Chapter, I actually found out it was The Old King who was telling the story and I misspelled his name and misspelled the mentor of Ronny and Edward. As for The Tyler part, I can't seem to find out where it was when it was when it was Tyler thinking. Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

04-Feb-2011 12:47:44 - Last edited on 04-Feb-2011 12:50:05 by Legionnaire

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