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Actually that's Welsh. I used Google Translate
Jagex used a bit of Welsh for some of the Elven names so I used some too.

Just a note, some quests are slightly distorted from the original plot in-game.

11-Jun-2011 06:25:21

12-Jun-2011 09:03:59

12-Jun-2011 18:37:37

12-Jun-2011 20:08:27

Bout to post the first chapter of my story - Adventurers Legacy. Please give feedback as it is the first time I have done something like this
You keep writing too!

12-Jun-2011 20:36:53

@GuthixGuy
I already took a look at it. It's pretty good.
@I lol you
Glad I'm helping. Now, it's time for me to read Chapter 10!

"He was a master thief and a master assassin. He was briefly adopted by a retired assassin who was also his mentor." The way these sentences are ordered, it sounds like Nate became a master thief and assassin before finding a mentor? Maybe you meant that his mentor adopted him and then trained him in those…er, arts, I guess?
So, maybe try: He was briefly adopted by a retired assassin, who was also his mentor. He soon became a master thief and master assassin."
On = An extra word in this sentence: "He later on left his mentor and began to have adventures."
"He was hopping that the druids ask him for assistance so that Nate can ask them later on to be teleported to the Wizard's Tower."
Hopping = hoping
..that the druids WOULD ask him for assistance so that Nate COULD ask them later to be teleported to Wizard's Tower. (Keep it in the same tense [past tense]. Also, try to avoid using 'later on')
"Hrm? The Wizard's Tower? Thats quite far. We druids can help you but since we are followers of balance,we also require your help,"spoked Sanfew.
Past tense of speak = spoke
The Taverley Dungeon seems like such a fun place…"These dwarves were Chaos Dwarves who were corrupted by an evil Dwarven mining company." Lol.
"The dragon's tail was lengthy and the dragon had spikes protruding from it's body everywhere." Lengthy? Everywhere? Now I'm picturing a blue dragon that looks like a hedgehog. Be careful not to use vague descriptions. You could add similes/comparisons to also help the reader better see what you're describing.
Like: the dragon's tail was as long as a Fremennik ship. (Er, that's a bad one, but it'll do) Because I'm sure the dragon isn't covered completely in spikes, you should specify the area.
So: The dragon's tail was as long as a Fremennik ship, and the dragon had spikes protruding along its elongated spine.

12-Jun-2011 23:08:01 - Last edited on 12-Jun-2011 23:10:19 by Fireheart449

"Nate then appeared in front of the Wizard's Tower and was sprawling on the ground."
Easier way to say that: Nate then appeared in front of Wizard's Tower, sprawled on the ground.
"Few Wizards were killing a large demon." Did you mean: A few Wizards were killing a large demon? At the beginning of the sentence, you need that a (or an) in front of the adjective because otherwise it changes the meaning.
Few Wizards were killing a large demon. = out of number of wizards, only a few are succeeding in killing the demon
A few wizards were killing a large demon. = a small number of wizards are ALL trying to kill the demon
The demon;s head turned to dust as it's body fell onto the ground.
^Probably a typing mistake. The 'demon's head'…and also 'its body'
Picked up Zen??? Oh, he's unconscious. You might want to remind us of that here. It's been a while since Zen's been KO'd.
So ends Chapter 10 and Nate's interesting tale…
Almost forgot: You've already mentioned Freak in your story, and you already have plenty of characters and bios to keep track of. So, unless Freak would add something important to the plot, I would rather not have him in here.
Well, I've read a lot of stuff today, so I'll take a break and get back to this later. Oh, and if I ever get annoying, do tell me.

12-Jun-2011 23:09:42

13-Jun-2011 13:10:33 - Last edited on 13-Jun-2011 13:11:17 by JustMonika

Thanks for the bio, oh and thanks for the corrections Fireheart
Guthix, I'll read your story in a minute.

Btw people, I take bios anytime

13-Jun-2011 16:26:57

13-Jun-2011 16:37:08