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Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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--I’d rather thought you were younger than sixteen, given the manner with which you speak. Admittedly, I have met quite a few decent 16 year olds on this forum and you happened to be the most immature one I have come across. Actually, the above is self-explanatory. While you may have a better grasp of grammar, the above demonstrates simply that you’re a poor writer, a poor artist, and a poorer individual who fails to understand what is polite and what is not.
P.S. I never thought I'd resort to this, but I find it amusing to imagine you as a jealous kid who understands little about life - which of course, falls inside my idea of polite. I half suspected that you're the kind of kid that gets what he wants as soon as he starts shouting at people.

23-Jun-2011 18:06:16 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2011 18:14:33 by Englishkid62

Lokintr
Dec Member 2014

Lokintr

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The paragraph about David says a different story than what you’re saying here. As “twins”, “identical”? That suggests rather a lot more than the casual relation lacking in intimacy that you have described.
Am I meant to roll over and play dead now that you’ve told me you’ve accepted the relatively harsh review, and while rewriting the story, taken it into account? I read Mitch’s review, and Azigarath’s, actually. The points of grammar they both raised, yes, you agreed with some and changed them, but with others, you decided to keep as they were in the name of rhythm, style, or even emphasis ... which ended up creating more problems than it solved, as the fact of the matter is they were right with what they picked out, and as much as you might “confer with someone” about them, they are still wrong. Having never read the original version of the story or indeed Yrolg’s review, I can’t comment on how it has been rewritten. I can, however, comment on this version and the way you react to criticism. So don’t tell me that “what I read is the result of them” [ie, reviews], because I have seen you disregard rather a lot of the corrections you were given, which were all right.
As nonsensical as my arguments may be, your response are equally as convoluted. You’re justifying arrogance and vanity by trying to attack me over my “ideals” – which YOU have inferred (wrongly) to mean that I insist on my preferences being adopted by everyone, which is not true at all. I am calling you out on your conceit. The very fact that you’d say something like “quite frankly, insightful comments take up space” ... just what? This shows beyond any doubt the true nature and the gross extent of your arrogance: not only are you collecting quotes to show your popularity and flaunt your skill, it doesn’t even matter to you that they are meaningful. Only quantity and no quality. And why are you even bringing the forum rules into this? Am I acting like a moderator? No. Am I trying to censor you? No.

23-Jun-2011 18:56:04 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2011 18:57:23 by Lokintr

Lokintr
Dec Member 2014

Lokintr

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I’m commenting on how VAIN you are.
Please. Spare me the personal attacks. Quite frankly, you can think of me as the meanest and most immature sixteen year old you have ever met, but you are sadly mistaken and obviously not possessing of sufficient character quality to stay civil and recognise that. If you’re going to comment on my writing, by the way, be so kind as to do it on my thread. Lacking in obsequious quotes in a strategic point, of course, but unlike you I am not quite so vain so as to collect them.
Finally – you insulted me first. Don’t dare tell me I don’t understand what polite means. If you remember, I actually complimented the story (ending specifically) in my original review post. But I suppose you’re so blinded by the fact I actually disagree with the usual sheep that read this that you couldn’t recognise that.

P.S * yes, our friend English, the epitome of arrogance and self-importance, thinks I am jealous. Yeah. That one. You know nothing about me. Spare me your failing sarcasm and at least raise yourself beyond the level of the petty child who can’t take that someone dislikes him.

23-Jun-2011 18:56:13 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2011 18:56:26 by Lokintr

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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“The paragraph about David says a different story than what you’re saying here. As “twins”, “identical”? That suggests rather a lot more than the casual relation lacking in intimacy that you have described.”
--Two individuals become friends, presumably, because of an identification process, of recognising similar traits. That however, does not mean one knows another character well in terms of history, if the other character never bothered to reveal.
”Having never read the original version of the story or indeed Yrolg’s review, I can’t comment on how it has been rewritten. I can, however, comment on this version and the way you react to criticism. So don’t tell me that “what I read is the result of them” [ie, reviews], because I have seen you disregard rather a lot of the corrections you were given, which were all right.”
--The review can be found on Yrolg’s own review thread. And it is an author’s job to react to criticisms and receive them critically. You claimed the corrections were all ‘right’ which I must disagree. And when I confer with others, I confer with either Arcot, Yrolg, or other knowledgeable sources in the field of grammar - not a sixteen-year-old who feels he knows enough to know what is right and what is wrong. I feel that I have to remind you that I am the author of this work and I have my own artistic vision of where this story is. As an intellectual property accredited to myself, it seems that I know my own story better than you, and thus you should respect that fact.
”I’m commenting on how VAIN you are.”
--Again, that is your own opinion. In fact, a rude one, and one that is not welcomed. You need to know your place.

23-Jun-2011 19:24:10 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2011 19:34:43 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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”If you’re going to comment on my writing, by the way, be so kind as to do it on my thread.”
--Actually, after your little display on this thread, I had decided not to post my comments on your thread. I had quite a few things to say, but I do not believe you are worth any more of my time.
”Finally – you insulted me first. Don’t dare tell me I don’t understand what polite means.”
--You started it. Actually, from the moment you’d replied sarcastically at a comma at the start of Brotherly Love, I had wondered if you’d visit this thread, since you seemed extremely concerned whether I’m taking every criticism onboard. And then of course, the post of praises did not impress you, leading you to read the following story in a ‘conceited’ and ‘pompous’ light, your judgement already clouded by your preconceptions of the author. This then leads to this tedious debate on whether I ought to balance out the post with critical reviews and their locations. Evidently, you have not come to this story and started reading it with a clean state of mind, and thus I will not be taking your criticisms seriously.
You’re not a troll; you’re just plain offensive. Please do not post on this thread anymore.

23-Jun-2011 19:24:16 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2011 19:34:52 by Englishkid62

Lokintr
Dec Member 2014

Lokintr

Posts: 2,432 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Last post.
You have misunderstood one major thing about me. My opinion of you is mostly concerned with this discussion and how you have brought me to it. I don't like you. I doubt I ever will. It is not jealousy, nor me being petty. It is a simple fact that we are incompatible as people.
However. I read this story with an open mind and I was prepared to like it. It left me sadly underwhelmed in terms of emotional impact - where I disagreed with most of the comments - but as I stated originally, the ending was clever and excepting David and your grammatical problems it was fairly well written.
Ensuing insults from us both aside, you have failed to recognise that originally I did not insult you. I gave you a fair opinion. Do not make out that I did nothing but provoke you with unreasonable comments, because that is not true.


P.S. Petty arguing aside, I rather think quite enough time was spent by me explaining to you why I did not like your story (especially before it degenerated) so it would certainly be the height of discourtesy for you not to do the same and explain why you called me a bad writer. Just saying.

23-Jun-2011 19:46:35 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2011 19:47:22 by Lokintr

Venmi

Venmi

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Forgive me for relighting this fire, but I can** sit idly by and keep my mouth shut. I actually see where Loki is coming from in a lot of these points. I will explain.
He mentions that he is bothered by the fact that you put the posts of praise on the first post. He is correct when he says that it puts you in a conceited light and don’t mention the criticism. When a book is published, the publisher, I believe, is the one to put the quotes from the positive reviews on the book. The author has nothing to do with it. This is different. You picked out the quotes from reviews that were positive, and it can look conceited.
On the other hand, being the Devil’s Advocate I am, this method is a great way to lure readers in from the start. The point of the thread layout is to get readers. The author does not need to care about how people will take that. If this thread layout got you to read the story, Loki, then it is successful. A little conceited on English’s part? Yes. Successful, though? Once again, the answer is yes.
Putting up every review, as English mentioned, would be a terrible idea, especially when only three are alive today. There really is no other way to set up the thread unless he takes all the quotes out entirely, but let’s be real. Why would he want to do that when it gives praise to the story? As I said before, the objective is to get readers, and it works.
Oh David. I really wasn’t paying attention to how much depth was put into David because it did*’t really matter enough. The thing that mattered is what David did to affect Kipplin. A little more history on David would have been nice—how did he end up being so mean? But at the same time, it is not the most important aspect. The story is about Kipplin, not David. From a third person viewpoint, it would have been better to put some backstory on David, but it’s not a third person viewpoint. The narrator, as English said, is biased.

23-Jun-2011 20:20:25

Venmi

Venmi

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The obsession part of this seems a little bit off. English, you must understand that people take obsession in different ways, and your writing needs to be crystal clear if you want it conveyed in your way. If someone else thinks it’s different, and you don’t like that, fix it in your writing. The reader is always right. If they look at it differently than you and it is supposed to be a concrete thing, then you are wrong and you must fix it.
English, Loki is 100% about how you take criticism. You are a poor bearer of it. When I gave criticism to your grammar, you tried saying it was for style when a lot of times it was just wrong. There are better ways to create emphasis; an overuse on commas is a terrible way. In fact, it is the wrong way. This is coming from the many books I’ve read. I may not be the grammar tyrant like Torpeh is (have you met him?), but I know enough to understand that your grammar is quite off.
The most painful part of this whole argument is that it is petty. You two leave the grasp of the big picture—the story—and instead decide to fight on politeness and how conceited the other is, etc. It started off as a good discussion and is now two people insulting each other back and forth. I don’t care who started it. English, Loki may have said something in a way that you did*’t like. Understand what he meant and deal with it instead of attacking back. That is so unproductive. Has the stories forum really resorted to this?

23-Jun-2011 20:20:52

Venmi

Venmi

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I'm going to keep my points short and sweet. I invested time starting what I wrote before this discussion was over, and I didn't feel like I should just throw it out and waste that time. Sorry for this.

23-Jun-2011 20:32:53

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