All these beautiful skills have earned no more respect,(no
need for comma I think) or admiration (independent clause), (no need for comma I think) than those who played RuneScape for barely two minutes, [those screaming individuals causing trouble and disrupting the Lumbridge castle] (relative clause, isn't it?), (no need for comma I think) begging for free item (think you need a comma here) and when refused, shouted long, censored phrases (relative clause of individuals).
I think that's how it goes, so I don't think English is wrong. You can't say, "...when they were refusing, they shouting long, censored phrases." Description of "individuals"
is in present, but the rest of it is in past. I don't see an error.
03-Apr-2010 00:58:35