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Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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The prequel was in fact about what passed on between David and Alex. in that room, and how David's friends viewed them, and what caused their seperation. The story reflects what I wanted to say about the state of the Stories Forum at the time.

02-Apr-2010 23:52:14 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2010 23:54:44 by Englishkid62

The Level

The Level

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All these beautiful skills have earned no more respect, or admiration, than those who played RuneScape for barely two minutes, those screaming individuals causing trouble <<Present tense<< and >>Present tense> disrupting the Lumbridge castle, >>Present tense>> begging for free items and when refused, >>Past tense??>> shouted long, censored phrases.

'Shouted' should be shouting.

03-Apr-2010 00:32:58

The Level

The Level

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Either way, it stood out to me, the reader, as wrong, and therefore, must be changed whether you like it or not. I spent almost five minutes rereading that single sentence.

03-Apr-2010 00:42:22 - Last edited on 03-Apr-2010 00:42:59 by The Level

I AM FRODO

I AM FRODO

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All these beautiful skills have earned no more respect,(no
need for comma I think) or admiration (independent clause), (no need for comma I think) than those who played RuneScape for barely two minutes, [those screaming individuals causing trouble and disrupting the Lumbridge castle] (relative clause, isn't it?), (no need for comma I think) begging for free item (think you need a comma here) and when refused, shouted long, censored phrases (relative clause of individuals).
I think that's how it goes, so I don't think English is wrong. You can't say, "...when they were refusing, they shouting long, censored phrases." Description of "individuals"
is in present, but the rest of it is in past. I don't see an error.

03-Apr-2010 00:58:35

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